Quotes on missing someone

 

Book Review: Kabhi Yun Bhi To Ho by Roshan Jha

 

कितनी प्यारी सी, मीठी सी किताब है यह! 

छोटी छोटी कविताएँ, और हर कविता में इतनी तृष्णा, इतना प्रेम। 

कविता प्रेम के जैसी होनी चाहिए - बहुत गहरी, पर देखने में बहुत सादा सी। 

हर कविता प्रेम कविता है, हर कविता प्रेम के जैसी ही है - सादा से शब्दों में, गहरे-गहरे जज़्बात। 

काश कभी यूं हो कि 

तुम हो जाओ पूरी की पूरी मेरी 

जैसे 

गंगा बनारस की है! 

मैं हो जाना चाहता हूँ 

बंजारा फकीर 

क्या कभी यूं होगा कि 

तुम बन जाओ 

मेरे कांधे की झोली 

जो भरा रहता है मुफलिसी में भी 

मन की संतुष्टि जितना 

कभी यूं भी तो हो कि 

मुझे छेड़ने के मन से 

तुम कह दो   ... 

"मैं जा रही हूँ, 

फिर कभी नहीं आऊँगी" 

और, चुपके से देख पाओ 

मेरा खुद से 

तुम से पहले गायब हो जाना 

Maybe they should ask...

I think they should ask the women 

if it hurts less 

if the person pinning them to the ground 

is legally married to them. 

Do they feel less violated

If they sob silently 

instead of screaming in pain 

- because there is a child sleeping

seven feet away? 

Marital rape is not rape.  

Maybe they should ask 

the women? 

katran

तुम सब से हंस कर बात करती हो न? 

हाँ। 

मुझ से हंस कर मत किया करो 

तो फिर कैसे करूं? रो कर? 

शर्मा कर. 

******** 

तुम सब से हंस कर बात करते हो न? 

हाँ.  

मुझ से हंस कर मत बात किया करो। 

तो फिर कैसे करूं? 

कुछ अचकचेपन से, कुछ अनिश्चितता से। 

************ 

   

चाहिए

"बच्चों को यूं करना चाहिए... " 

कहने वाले 

बच्चों के बारे में नहीं सोच रहे थे 

"लड़कों को ऐसा होना चाहिए" 

कहने वाले 

लड़कों की फिक्र नहीं कर रहे थे 

"लड़कियां तो ऐसी अच्छी लगती हैं" 

कहने वाले 

लड़कियों की अच्छाइयाँ नहीं सोचते 

'चाहिए' में 

'चाहत' नहीं होती 

6th December

6th December. 

This was the day, back in 2005, when I had an important surgery. For some reason, as the day approached this year, I was apprehensive, wondering whether it would bring back memories. Usually, the day passes without one even registering the date but this time, somehow, it was different. 

Well... the day came and went. 

AND, as I tucked self into bed at the end of a very happy day, I realised that 6th December is a milestone, for me to remember how far life has come. How much better it is today than it was on that day in 2005. On that day, I had a lot of faith, and no hope for the future. I had consigned myself to a funeral pyre of being the living dead. To live without happiness, hope, and joy, hanging on to that thing called faith. 

It's not an ideal life. But its much better than it was on 6th December, 2005. 

And so, I ended 6th December, not with bad memories, but a ton of gratitude. 

Book Review: In the Name of God by Ravi Subramaniam

Mystery is a favorite genre, and Ravi Subramaniam used to be a favourite author. After "Bestseller she wrote", here is another book that starts with a lot of promise and delivers at least some of it. 

The plot starts with a temple in Kerala, and the real names and incidents used in the book are a hallmark of RS's books. They make the books interesting and relatable. 

The story telling is rather gripping - gripping enough to keep you up long after bedtime, so if you have not read a book in a long time and you wonder when you will get hooked to books again, if ever, this book is definitely worth a shot. 

BUT, this book should have been at least 200 pages shorter. As a reader, I don't enjoy pointless red herrings and meaningless meandering. 

There aren't too many plotholes, but its not a tightly crafted tale either. In fact, the sheer number of themes that have been put in a single book - from Mumbai blasts and temple vaults to rich Mumbai jewelers and Chennai antiques export - makes for some distraction while reading the book. Its like we live in one world - where the valuers reach the vault every morning and then mysteriously people start getting killed, and suddenly we are moved to Mumbai, then to Chennai, then back again. One plot can and usually does have multiple connections, and the export of antiques is a relevant side thread, but Mumbai most certainly is not. 

The book is well-researched, so one is not likely to find the treatment of any of these real life events flippant or insincere. In fact, it is so well crafted that you wonder whether these events may actually be connected in this way. Most certainly appears to be plausible. 

The end appears rushed, and the connections didn't all make sense. But they were brought forth well. 

Surprisingly, we still don't know if the king was helping himself to temple riches - the question with which the book begins is not answered right till the very end. 

As a reader, I enjoyed the book, but would have enjoyed a shorter, crisper version even more. 

Rebel without cause

कविता, लाल रंग की नहीं होती 

न कागज 

न कलम, न स्याही 

पर खून टपकता है 

कुछ कविताओं से 

क्यूंकि 

हाथ सने थे 

खून में 

कविता लिखने वाले के। 

This poem is about poetry of hate, masquerading as poetry of protest. I have often criticised those who provoke but take no responsibility for the actions caused by their words. Poets, unfortunately, top that list, even above politicians. Because a politician is rarely taken at their word, and a poet is rarely doubted. 

Katran - back of my hand

He: I know you like the back of my hand. 

She: That is not a statement on how well you know me. That's proof of how little you know about the back of your hand. 

#Roasted. 

Happy Birthday, Friend! - A Birthday wish

What do I wish for thee? 

A little love, a little envy 

A little sorrow, enough joy. 

Someone to live for 

An ideal to die for 

This, I wish for thee. 

A home to call your own 

A heart that beats for ye 

Warm bread on the plate 

And a view that suits the eye. 

This, I wish for thee. 

Farsightedness to see 

life's ephemerality 

Yet to know the joy 

brought by a butterfly 

This, I wish for thee. 

What do I wish for thee, 

All eternity. 

Nataraja, Shiva, and dance

The Nataraja roopa of Shiva is considered Rudra... the angry one, and is therefore not worshipped in the homes. 

But the Shiva who dances is not angry. Shiva loves dance. Shiva is mridul (soft) in dance. 

Shiva loves to dance. Loves the soft rhythm and the flow. 

The Nataraja roopa mudra is angry, but it is not representative of the relationship between Shiva and dance. In it, as the name goes, he is the king of dancers, but not one in tune with his own inner flow. For in that, there is no raja, only vileena. (Vileen - to merge into something) 

दिवाली पर मुकरी

साँझ ढले पर वा सज जावे 

देखत ही मन हर्षावे  

अंतर्मन कर दे उजियारा 

एक उसी से सब तम हारा 

स्वर्ण सी आभा, जैसे राजन 

मन को सादो, जैसे कीप।     

का सखी, साजन? 

ना सखी, दीप! 

क्षणिका

अदल बदल कर 

कानों में डलते रहते हैं 

तेरे जुमले 

मेरे झुमकों से हैं पिया 

Excerpt from the poem - Rain and Riches by Sunil Sachdev

 In its truest sense

the rainbow should come 

before the rain 

as 

then at its end would be 

not only 

a pot of gold 

but a shower 

of rubies 

 and gems

and diamonds 

Great Indian Recipe: Parliamentary Brick - Poems by Sunil Sachdev from the book U Turn

 Carefully select one well-grown 

and thick skinned student leader 

dress him up like a chicken 

then put him in a kneader 

the purpose of the kneader 

is to make a spineless dough 

but the thick skin should remain 

to tell half truths and to bow

now put this special dough 

in a national party mould

party name is not important

provided its leaders are old 

keep the mould in a furnace 

lit by communal fires

and blow air mixed with slogans 

to brainwash and inspire 

when this hardened lout turns 

red and yellow and white 

you know he is ready to change 

colours, and wear what's right 

the 'brick' is now ready 

to lay another foundation 

to join Indian politics 

serve parliament and nation. 

क्षणिका

मैंने तुमसे नहीं सीखा 

गिर कर सम्हलना 

तुम्हारा योगदान 

बस गिराना भर था। 

कविता की ज़िद

वो जो छींक 

आधे में रुक जाती है न? 

जिसके आ जाने तक 

सांस रोकने के अलावा कुछ नहीं कर सकते? 

पूरे अधिकार से 

रोक देती है 

जो भी ज़रूरी काज या बात 

कर रहे हों। 

सर्वाधिकार संपूर्णतया सुरक्षित। 

कुछ कविताओं का मन में आना भी 

ऐसा ही है। 

You know that sneeze 

that stops midway

just to demand 

complete attention? 

Where you have to stop doing

or saying 

Whatever it is that you were

saying or doing? 

Yeah, some poems 

come to the head 

in the same way. 

My EVM journey

Yesterday was elections where we live. 

I noticed that on the Electronic Voting Machind, the candidates from the 2 main parties - BJP and Congress were placed next to each other. 

Anyway, I registered my vote but to my surprise, the button next to it lit up. 

I thought, at the time, that i had pressed the wrong button. 

But since the other button belonged to a party that is responsible for the massacre of my family members, I just could not let it go. 

All day and all evening, I kept thinking of how I could have pressed the wrong button. 

And at night, I focused the brain to go back to the moment the button was pressed. The symbol of the candidate is to the left. Which symbol was it when I was pressing the button?? 

It was the right symbol. I did press the intended button, but the machine registered my vote differently. 

I understand this is a serious accusation, and there is no way of proving it bcs there is no CCTV camera inside the booth, but I know what happened here. 

Incidentally, only one party created a ruckus saying that the EVMs can be tampered. It was the party that 'erroneously' got my vote yesterday. 

Even if no one knows, I know. 

Update: The results were announced and the party who got my vote unintentionally still lost. Surprisingly, only in my state, they started talking about an EVM malfunction. No other state where they lost, did they allege EVM malfunction. My sense is that they expected some amount of ground votes (real votes) and some amount of EVM rigging, and that would be the way to win elections. But the rigging did not quite compensate for the lack of ground votes, hence the frustration. However, after this, i will never allege that EVMs are incorruptible. I stand corrected through personal anecdotal experience. 

Book Review: U Turn by Sunil Sachdev

This book is now out of print. It came out in 1992. 

Every book belongs to an era. 2024 is not the right era for half of this book. But for the other half, it is still relevant. 

The writing is crisp and intelligent. The metaphors are well drawn. Sarcasm drips in the right dose from every line. 

One of the strangest things on earth 

is a place they call school. 

while the place is meant for learning, 

you learn out of as a rule. 

At some places, there is timeless angst: 

without a motherland to defend, 

a soldier should kill who? 

In a poem called Life Management, he presents a view that many of us will chuckle and agree with: 

The long-term objectives 

vs the short-term goals; 

the debate is endless

but the theory has holes. 

The futility of words is rued at the end of a long poem on the subject: 

Great poets, thinkers, and the like 

will come and go for ever 

they can't change a thing

but fill library shelves forever. 

It is in education and politics that his comments are most incisive. One can debate their practicality, and that is what makes them food for thought. On education: 

The whole outlook on education 

needs a revolutionary U-Turn 

each to his needs should be the aim 

not to his age as is the pattern. 

Love for nature is also very evident at more places than one. But this paragraph stands out: 

It its truest sense 

the rainbow should come

before the rain; 

as 

then at its end would be 

not only 

a pot of gold 

but a shower 

of rubies 

and gems

and diamonds. 

The poems I especially liked are Coloured Vision, and the series on Indian recipes. 

Coloured Vision: 

If green is the colour 

of leaves

It can't be the colour 

of envy. 

If blue is the colour 

of the sky 

how can I ever feel blue? 

If red is the colour 

of the glowing sunset 

how can it mean danger? 

If black is the colour of 

a starry night 

how can black bring bad luck? 

If white is the colour 

of a new born day 

how can white stand for mourning? 

Reason #142587 that I love secondhand books: I got an author signed copy of the first edition - 1992!!! 

झूठे

तुम्हारे बोल 

का क्या मोल? 

प्रतिच्छेद

मर्दों के संसार चलते हैं 

चौपालों से 

अखबारों से 

पंचायत से 

टीवी पर चल रहे फुटबाल से 

सामयिक चर्चाओं से 

निवेश पर विवेचनाओं से 

दफ्तरों से 

खेल के मैदानों  से 

संगीत- नाटक सभाओं से 

घरों की बैठकों से 

औरतों के संसार चलते हैं 

सांझे चूल्हे से 

पनघट से 

पानदान से 

झूलों से 

नदी के घाट से 

बैलगाड़ी में बैठ पहुँचने वाले मेले, 

तीज त्योहार से 

व्रत उपवास से 

गरबा, सेंदूर खेला, वरलक्ष्मी व्रत, बोपटलु से 

घरों की रसोईयों से 

इनके मिलने के दायरों में 

कोई प्रतिच्छेद (intersection)  नहीं है 

This poem speaks about the social settings for men and women, and how there are literally no common areas where men and women can socially interact with each other. This leads to limited dialogue and exchange of views. While the poem has some exaggeration, because they do interact in marriages and other social functions, by and large, both the topics of discussion and the physical spaces where they meet are very different. Even when entertaining at home, men tend to sit in the drawing room, while women retire to the kitchen or the 'parlour'. Even while working in the office, men tend to socialise in office, while women focus on finishing work and reaching home to start their home shift of caregiving and domestic work. 

The world of men

is in offices 

pubs 

football matches 

news discussions

water coolers 

drawing room discussions 

The world of women

is in watering holes 

bakeries 

swings 

fairs 

dance parties 

kitchen chats 

And there is 

no intersection. 

Film Review: Bad Newz

 

First things first, Dharma Productions is the producer of this movie. How do we know that? From the endless plugs of ghosts of movies-we-hope-you-will-remember-but-nope-you-don't. 

The writers are Tarun Dudeja and Ishita Moitra. They deserve a special award for having the highest number of missed opportunities of humour in a script. 

What I loved about the film is the plot. One will not even blink at a plot about two women who are dependent on the same man because he is the father of both their children. But a woman is having step-fraternal twins - from two different fathers. What's more? The prospective fathers agree to a paternity test AND don't bat an eyelid when they are told the results. 

This could so easily have been a moral science story with a serious lecture in place. The woman sermonising about the general ills of society for women. But it was crafted as a funny script, where the protagonist is an ambitious chef. The situations that lead to the... situation.. appear natural, not forced. 

Tripti Dimri is a good actress. The revelation in the film was that Vicky Kaushal is not just a versatile actor, he also has amazing screen presence. In a character that has probably been played ad nauseum, and for Dilliwallas, is not a character at all, he manages to create something that one continues to want to see. Any comparisons with Ranvir Singh are not fair - for the simple reason that this character is a little more nuanced. The empty bravado that was integral to Ranvir's character is totally missing here.  He is GOAT but also attached to mom and vulnerable and scared of not having his phone on him. 

Amy Virk is a surprise. The casting of Amy Virk is perfect-o. This character needed his calm presence. While both screen time and range for his character are limited compared to Vicky's character, he manages to make his presence felt.  

The storytelling is interesting. In the sense that the situational comedy does not all fall flat. It remains light-hearted, and most importantly, is able to avoid the irritating slapstick flavour that one has come to expect from Bollywood films. Where it does not amuse, it at least does not irritate. 

The cinematography is good, but is more than ably aided by the fantastic locations. The music score did not really lead to humming once the movie was over. The background score made its presence felt in the right way at some places. 

Final feeling? I was amused for the most part. Some chuckles were drawn and once, laughter also happened. Can this trio deliver another comedy? Maybe. But it will be a lot of hard work. 

Siskiyaan

सिसकियों से 

मन में रह जाता है मवाद 

जो कालांतर में 

बनता है अवसाद। 

दहाड़ें मार कर रोने के अपने फायदे हैं। 

******* 

Book Review - Suhaginein by Mohan Rakesh

 

पुस्तक में जो कहानियाँ हैं, उनके नाम हैं - अपरिचित, उसकी रोटी, ग्लास टैंक, सुहागिनें, आखिरी सामान, फौलाद का आकाश। 

यह समीक्षा में इस लिए लिखा जा रहा है क्यूंकि प्रकाशक ने पुस्तक में सूची प्रदान करने की ज़हमत नहीं उठाई। 2 पन्ने वहाँ बचा लिए गए हैं। ना प्रस्तावना (Foreword) है। 1 paragraph में मोहन राकेश का सारा जीवन बयान कर दिया गया है। यदि Penguin को हिन्दी में किताबें निकालनी हैं, तो थोड़ा ध्यान उनकी मर्यादा पर भी देना चाहिए। 

अब पुस्तक पर आते हैं।  

इस पुस्तक की समीक्षा करना सरल भी है और कठिन भी। 

सरल इसलिए कि ये कहानियाँ पुराने जमाने की रेल गाड़ियों सरीखी हैं। शुरू होती हैं एक ढर्रे पर - समतल, सपाट,  आसान सी। फिर जैसे रेल गाड़ी रफ्तार पकड़ती है, वैसे ही कहानियाँ अपनी चाल बदल लेती हैं और किसी जीवन की विकटता को सरलता से हमारे सामने रख जाती हैं। 

विकटता में समस्या ये है कि उसे कनखियों से देखना आसान है। इंसान यूं सोच सकता है कि "ऐसा थोड़ी होता है!"  या "यूं तो बस कहानियों में होता है। असल ज़िंदगी में थोड़ी!?" 

पर मोहन राकेश जी की कहानियों की विकटता पाठक के सामने कोई न कोई चेहरा ले आती है। किसी असली औरत का चेहरा - जिस ने ठीक इसी तरह से - दबी ज़बान से, 1-2 अधकहे जुमलों से, अपने जीवन का यथार्थ हमें बताना चाहा था। हमने अनदेखा कर दिया था। हम हंस दिए थे - खिसियानी सी हंसी जो बच निकालने के काम आती है। 

वे सब स्त्रियाँ, उन सब स्त्रियों के भूत, इस पुस्तक के पन्नों में बैठे है। जयूं जयूं वरके खुलते जाते हैं, वे सारे भूत सशक्ल हमारे सामने आते हैं। हम उनका सामना नहीं कर पाते। 

इसलिए यह पुस्तक कठिन है - यह जीवंत है। 

दूसरी वजह यह भी है कि कहानियाँ कई दशक पहले की हैं। पर उनकी घटनाएँ, आज भी समसामयिक हैं। पता नहीं ये समय का ठहर जाना है या हमारे समाज की सामूहिक विफलता। 

112 पन्नों की यह पुस्तक 6 अलग संसार अपने भीतर सँजोये है। इसे जरूर पढ़ें। सुहागनें तो खैर सबसे जानी मानी कहानी है ही, बाकी सब कहानियाँ भी अपनी बात बड़ी मार्मिकता से रखती हैं। 

 मिरे ख़ुदा मुझे इतना तो मो'तबर कर दे
मैं जिस मकान में रहता हूँ उस को घर कर दे

- इफ़तिखार आरिफ़   

कतरन - फूल

फिर मैंने तुमसे पूछा था, 

"तुम्हें किस रंग के फूल पसंद हैं?" 

तुमने कहा था, "आसमानी" 

पर, आसमानी रंग का तो 

शायद कोई फूल नहीं होता। 

इसीलिए तो! 

जिस दिन फूलों में 

आसमानी रंग उतर आएगा 

उस दिन 

मुरझाए फूल 

धरती पर नहीं गिरेंगे 

पंख उगा कर 

उड़ जाएंगे 

व्योम की ओर 

जैसे मैं उड़ जाना चाहती हूँ। 

क्या तुम्हें धरती 

बिल्कुल सुंदर नहीं लगती? 

बहुत सुंदर लगती है। 

अपनी नहीं लगती। 

Translation: 

And then I asked you 

"What is your favourite colour in flowers?" 

"The colour of the sky," you said. 

"But I don't think 

there is a flower 

the colour of the sky." 

"The day a flower 

finds the sky in itself 

it will not wither 

to fall. 

It will grow wings 

and fly 

to eternity. 

Like I want to." 

"Do you not find this Earth 

beautiful?" 

"Very beautiful. 

Just not.... mine." 

As usual, since the original Hindi uses some wordplay that is unique to Hindi, the translation is not as enjoyable as the original. 

Every language has its own wordplay that I thoroughly enjoy. 

Series Review: The Perfect Couple on Netflix

Note to self

1. If you like short stories, do NOT read novels. You owe your time more respect than that.

2. Unless you love Nicole Kidman or Ishaan Khattar, understand the concept of "cut your losses". The plot is available on imdb. Don't waste time.

This is not a series. This is a pendulum whose only job is to swing - from here to there, there to here.. and so on.

Don't bother counting the plotholes. They are there to make BMC (Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation) feel good about themselves.

This isn't a murder mystery (I mean, it is, but in the same way that stretched chewing gum is praline), it isn't a soap opera (but it tries really hard), and it definitely makes no sense.

It's a limited series. Which means it might vanish from Netflix sometime soon. And thank god for that!!

The night girl and the day girl

At night, this new person rises in me. 

This person is not like my day person. 

My day person is someone who has made peace with the inequities of life. Who says that inequality and unfairness are not a bug, they are a feature of our world. 

The day person forgives and forgets people who treat her badly. She keeps a safe distance, but does not really ruminate over the bad things they did.  She does not want to give it back as good as she gets, and is very mindful of the fact that increasingly, everyone above the age of 30 days is always, always right. They can make no mistake and do no wrong. 

The day person is calm, laughs easily, swears, but only for fun. Sees someone treating another person badly and if she can't help it, looks the other way. 

The night person, is who the day person was before the age of.. maybe 20 or so. The night girl remembers one or two people each day who were mean to her. She then proceeds to give them the choicest galis, telling them all the things they did to hurt her, and how she chose peace over confrontation, because when has confrontation ever changed anyone's mind? 

The night person thinks of all the things that are wrong with the world and her life, and is enraged. She does not focus on the good things in life, on the blessings in life. The night person has no mercy for anyone who abuses their power just because they can. She wishes painful death upon the rich and mighty who mow down animals and humans in a drunken stupor. She reads updates on Mercedes and BMW Hit and Run cases. She hopes that every corrupt person would die choking on their ill-gotten wealth. She wishes instant karma upon every bully. 

The night person gets all brilliant ideas. She knows the day person will never get them. The day person just doesn't have the sharp brain that she has. So, some nights, she gives up on sleep, gets up at 4 am, and writes blog posts about those bright ideas. Then, she waits till morning and sends them to people. These people are usually amazed at how creative and incisive these ideas are. 

***** 

I want to tell the night girl, that there is no need to deny oneself. She does not need to hide and come out in the night. If she feels anger at the unfairness of life, she does not have to justify that anger to herself. There is no need for two separate people. The night girl is the real me. The day girl is also the real me. But I think that inequity - lack of fairness - people getting away with doing things to people, is something i just cannot make my peace with, even if I am the only person in the world who does not like it. 

If she wants to cry and sob well into the night for things that happened more than one to four decades ago, she should. There is no such thing as too much time to grieve. Especially because, at that time, and since then, she has been busy being strong. She does not need to be strong anymore. She can totally be this sap who cries easily and laughs at stupid jokes. She is safe, and she has worked hard to reach this safety - physically and financially. 

It is safe to come out at night. But it is also safe to come out in the day. It is ok to tell people off if they are being rude or inconsiderate. A relationship does not have to be based on inequality of respect. It cannot be. And a truly nice person would not be disrespectful or inconsiderate. If they are, then they do not value what matters to her and with them, she might find company, but will not find companionship. To steal an old cliche, better to be alone in that case. Friends who do not value you are really not friends. And friends who value you will take your feedback if you tell them that you found them rude or inconsiderate. 

Sigh! The night girl, when she comes out in the day, is going to make the day girl very very lonely. The day girl currently has quite a network of plastic placeholders. Looks like spring cleaning is in the air, even though we are moving towards fall (well, literally and figuratively). 

मुहावरों पर मेरे सवाल - हिन्दी

वैसे तो हर भाषा में अपना रस होता है 

पर जो रस भारतीय भाषाओं के मुहावरों में है 

वह कहीं नहीं 

*********** 

मुहावरों पर मेरे सवाल 

आव देखा ना ताव 

क्या हैं ये - आव और ताव? 

इन्हें देखना 

क्यूँ जरूरी है

कुछ करने से पहले? 

ठाट- बाट से रहने वालों के घर में 

ठाट और बाट कहाँ मिलते हैं? 

हाथ कंगन को आरसी क्या 

- बिना हाथ के कंगन को 

आरसी क्यूँ चाहिए? 

या, हाथ में कंगन आ जाने से 

हाथ को आरसी की आवश्यकता है 

ऐसी जादुई वस्तु - आरसी - है क्या? 

आनन फानन में से 

आनन कौन है 

और फानन कौन? 

इन दोनों के साथ आने से 

काम जल्दी जल्दी क्यूँ हो जाते हैं? 

ऊंट के मुंह में जीरा? 

पर मुंह तो सबसे बड़ा 

हाथी का होता है 

और जीरे से छोटी होती है 

राई 

तो हाथी के मुंह में राई क्यूँ नहीं? 

यदि चोर चोर होते हैं 

मौसेरे भाई 

तो चचेरे, फुफेरे, ममेरे भाई 

चोर पुलिस होते हैं?

 

Meditation after a spiritual crisis

Last week, a young boy died. He was in my son's school. For 3 days, the entire school community, every single parent, was praying for that kid. We waited for updates but did not stop praying. 

At the end of those 3 days, we lost him. Even now, I am choking while writing this. 

This incident made me lose all faith in God and meditation. 

For one day, I did not pray. The hands automatically went to the lamp in the temple and lit it. 

I don't remember how long the daze lasted. One day, maybe two. 

When it lifted, I realised, i don't pray for God. I pray for myself. It gives me peace. Meditation is like my relaxation technique. 

A little later, when the head was a little cleared, my meditation reminded me that that evening, at about 5 30 pm, I had been distinctly told that the boy has not made it. I ignored that as my own misgivings and continued to focus on positive messaging. But that one newsflash at 5 30 pm was solid enough for me to remember later. 

It was a mistake. Just like Tejaswee - many years ago. She was not meant to go. Nor was this kid. But they went. It was a horrible, horrible mistake. 

I am yet to get over the shock.

Then, it was time to bring Ganpati Bappa home. We did. 

And, as soon as He came, it was as if my house underwent a transformation. I cannot describe it. There was happiness - in the house, and in the heart. 

This year, I just feel like going and sitting near him for no reason at all. That connection that we feel with Ganpati is back. 

Tonight, as I was talking to Him just before bed, the thought of that boy came up strongly, and He said, I need you to open your arms and visualise the fire from your heart. You do not meditate to do anything for God. You do it to complete your own lessons of this birth. Your own work of this birth. 

Will I still be allowed to experience Ananda? 

Of course! You are always welcome to Ananda. But understand that Ananda is a result of many years of doing good. 

You do not do anything for God. You do it to fulfil your duties and karma in this birth. Ananda does not benefit anyone except you. And it is a privilege. Be grateful for it. It is rare. Value it. Treasure it. You cannot live one day without Ananda* to anchor you. 

*A meditative state that I experience during.. well, meditation.  

On Friendships

As we have all observed, there is an epidemic of loneliness. It doesn't come so much from not having people around, but from not finding companionship in that company. We feel alone even amidst people. 

The other thing that happens is that people tend to ghost a lot more. Suddenly, they are not calling you. Suddenly, they are not around. Or one day, they snap on a relatively small issue and never get in touch again. We are the ones doing it too. Suddenly, it's too much work to stay in touch with so and so irritating friend. 

As an old person, I have been paying some attention to this. Why does this happen? Why were there lifelong friendships among our parents and their friends, but transitory ones for us? 

These are some common themes that I have observed: 

A. Persistence - You will not like all your friends all the time. They will make statements that will make you cringe. Their political ideologies will make you doubt your own sanity. But stay in touch. Respect the person, not their thoughts or actions. Unless there is significant mistrust (with evidence) and disrespect, keep the friendship going. Reach out. 

B. Consistency - If you call each other once a year on birthdays, do that EVERY SINGLE YEAR. If you only ever send one message once a year, send it every year. If you meet on the last Saturday of every month, clear everything else in that time slot. 

Consistency comes from prioritisation. To be consistent in a largely VUCA world, you will have to learn to say NO - to new connections, new opportunities, new distractions. For something to be lasting, you have to make it last. Not lost. 

C. Communication - When someone appears upset with you, ask them why. Then, truly listen to what they are saying. When someone asks you if you are upset, and you are, do tell them what's bothering you. These open communications and fights have become so rare in our forever polite and politically correct world. A good fight, and a good cry, are included in the ingredients for a great, lasting friendship. 

Some of my friendships go back decades, most go back at least a few years. Those whom i know from more recent meets, I am still finding a space with them. When it comes to friendships, I am a tortoise. I move slowly, very slowly, and the end of every friendship hurts. Because each one is treasured and cultivated. 

जब पेड़ जूझ रहा होता है 

तूफान से 

तो उसे 

पकड़ लेती हैं 

अपनी पूरी ताकत से 

- गिरने नहीं देतीं। 

जड़ें 

हार नहीं मानतीं 

न मिट्टी से, न पत्थर से, न ईंटों से। 

जड़ें अपना रास्ता 

ढूंढती नहीं 

बना लेती हैं 

उनके स्वभाव में ही नहीं है 

अपने दबे से घर से निकल कर 

एक बार देख आना 

कि उनके पेड़ का आकाश 

कितना विस्तृत हो गया है। 

जड़ें 

असल में 

माँ-बाबा सी होती हैं। 

********** 

When the tree is about to fall 

to the storm 

They hold on to it

With all their might 

And save it. 

Roots 

are not scared 

of the earth, rocks, or bricks. 

They don't find a path 

They make it. 

They never dream of 

leaving their house 

in the mud 

To go see

even once 

how the sky 

is kissed 

by the canopy. 

Roots 

are, I think, 

a little bit like

Parents. 

Vidur Niti Excerpts

Vidur Niti is a book within the Mahabharata. This is a dialogue between Dhritarashtra and Vidur, his minister. In the conversation, Vidur shares many nuggets of niti (policy) wisdom, and towards the end, Dhritarashtra broaches the subject of what to do with the Pandavas. 

I read the translation by Chaukhamba Prakashan. The book is very interesting. Sharing some excerpts that i really liked. The Sanskrit is original, English translations are mine and Hindi translations may be original or may be slightly modified from the book's translation. The book's translation has not been copied verbatim anywhere.  

********** 

अमित्रं कुरुते मित्रं मित्रं द्वेष्टि हिनस्ति च

कर्म चारभते दुष्टं तमाहुमूढ़चेतसम्   

 अर्थ: वह जो अमित्र (शत्रु) को मित्र बनाता है, मित्र से द्वेष रखता है और उसे हीन (नीचा) समझता है, और दुष्ट कर्म को शुरू करता है, उसे ही मूढ़ (मूर्ख) बुद्धि वाला कहा गया है।

Meaning: One who befriends the enemy, views a true friend with contempt or looks down upon a true friend, or one who starts an evil task – such a person is a fool.

*****

हरणं च परस्वानां परदाराभिमर्शनम्

सुहृदश्रव् परित्यागंसत्रयो दोषा: क्षयावहा:

 

अर्थ: दूसरों के धन का हरण करना, दूसरे की स्त्री से मिलन, और सच्चे मित्र का परित्याग (छोड़ देना) – ये तीनों दोष क्षय (हानि) कारक होते हैं।

To take another’s wealth, to sleep with another’s wife, and to leave a real friend – all these three faults lead to harm.

***

षडिमान् पुरुषो जह्याद् भिन्नां नावमिवार्णवे

अप्रवक्तारमाचार्यमनधीयानमृत्विजम्

अरक्षितारं राजानं भार्यां  चाप्रियवादिनीम्

ग्रामकामं च गोपालं वनकामं च नापितम्

अर्थ: मनुष्य इन 6 वस्तुओं को वैसे ही छोड़ दे जैसे समुद्र में भिन्न (टूटी हुई) नाव को छोड़ा जाता है: ठीक ना बोलने वाले आचार्य को, मंत्र न पढ़ने वाले ऋत्विक (पुजारी) को, रक्षा ना करने वाला राजा को, कटु बोलने वाली स्त्री को, गाँव में रहने वाले ग्वाले को (क्यूंकि उसे वन में गैया के साथ रहना चाहिए), और वन में रहने की इच्छा रखने वाले नाई को।

Meaning: These six things should be left as one abandons a damaged boat in the sea: A teacher who does not give the right discourse, a priest who does not utter the mantras, a king who does not protect, a woman who does not speak sweetly, a cowherd who prefers to live in the village, and a barber who wishes to live in the forest. (Barbers were also social network agencies in Indian society. They were responsible for spying, carrying messages from one house to another, prospecting for and fixing matrimonial alliances, and entertaining the patron while providing regular barber services with anecdotes and gossip).

**********

षडेव तु गुणा: पुंसां न हातव्या: कदाचन

सत्यं दानमनालस्यमनसूया क्षमा धृति:

अर्थ: इन 6 गुणों को कभी नहीं छोड़ना चाहिए: सत्य, दान, आलस्य न करना, द्वेष न रखना, क्षमा, और धैर्य रखना।

These 6 qualities should never be abandoned: Truth, generosity, not being lazy, holding no malice, forgiveness, and patience.

********

 

 

                         

 

        

On reading a poem

ਕਿਸੇ ਵਿਰਲੀ ਜੇਹੀ ਕਵਿਤਾ ਨੂਂ ਪੜ੍ਹ ਕੇ 

ਦਿਲ ਪੁੱਛਦਾ:

ਤੂ ਮੇਰੀ ਜਾਈ ਕਿਉਂ ਨ ਹੋਈ?

Kise Virli jehi kavita nu padh ke

Dil puchhda:

Tu meri jaayi kyun na hoyi?

English:

It is a rare poem that one reads

and asks:

Why were you not born to my heart?

Wrote a Punjabi poem after long.

Read a beautiful poem by Sankalp, and tabhi se, this thought was in my head but i was not able to solidify it. 

Today, I sat in meditation and just like that, the poem came to me. So easily. :) 

This is the age of Shiv.

This is the age of Shiv. 

That is all. 

This is the age of Shiv. 

कविताएँ /Poems

कुछ हमेशा 

हौसला देने वाली 

कुछ आँसू पोंछतीं  

कुछ बचपन की कल्पनाओं को 

शब्द देतीं 

कुछ 

जो मन की मुराद दिला दें 

बस एक खत में बैठ कर 

कुछ खिलखिला कर हंसने वालीं  

कुछ मोती से आँसू बहातीं 

कुछ दयालु, कुछ नटखट 

कविताएँ 

असल में

परियाँ होती हैं 

**** 

One, who pats my back 

And one that wipes a tear. 

One puts me gently to bed

And one helps me clearly see. 

One, that laughs like tinker bell, 

And one that cries with me. 

One that is naughty 

And one that's haughty. 

One that brings dreams alive, 

And one that helps bury. 

Every poem (I'm sure of it), 

is, in truth, a fairy. 

Note: The theme is the same, but the English is NOT a translation of the Hindi version. They are two different poems. 

No feminist please, we are Indian

On social media, one encounters "No feminist please" more and more. 

Something like this ad: 

This got me thinking. What is it about trad wives that men want, and why are women not willing to be trad wives.

A good starting point, of course, was to just list what a traditional marriage looks like. 

In a traditional Indian marriage: 

What traditional Indian wives do: 

1. Cook (with help) 

2. Clean (oversee the help) 

3. Raise kids (with support from other women in the house or family) 

4. Ensure that all family celebrations are taken care of. Everyone has the gift that they deserve, all family equations are maintained. 

5. Host visiting relatives. 

6. Host friends of children. 

7. Organise children's birthday parties. 

8. Know the preferences of everyone in the family and ensure a fair balance between junk and healthy eating. 

9. Socialise with their friends or relatives after sending the kids and husband to their respective school/office. OR take a nap. 

10. Get up in the morning to ensure kids get to school, husband gets to work. 

11. Settle the house at night before going to bed. 

12. Give chai to the husband once he comes back from work. 

13. Attend all family functions and perform the work expected. Ensuring that the function goes off smoothly, assisting mother in law or the eldest daughter in law in doing the function. 

14. Teaching children all about our epics, our traditions, and performing the pooja in the family temple every day. 

15. Never drink or smoke in public. 

16. Manage the household and make the list of supplies that the husband must get every month from the ration shop. 

17. Wear only Indian clothes in the house. (nightie exempted) 

18. Touch the feet of visiting elders. 

19. On all matters of finance, defer to the husband. 

20. No work outside the house. Volunteer or something only when it doesn't interfere with family responsibilities. 

21. Learn the traditions of the marital family and perpetuate them. This includes their food habits, their religious observance, their family celebrations, and the way they communicate with each other. 

22. Bear children within 2 years of marriage. 

What traditional Indian husbands do: 

1. Be the sole breadwinner. Never taking a penny from the wife. 

2. Give their salary to the wife at the start of each month for her to manage the family's finances. 

3. Bring groceries on their way home from office. 

4. After freshening up and drinking his chai, sit with the kids to complete their homework while the wife cooks dinner for the family. 

5. Take wife along on all social events. Not being able to attend any social event without the wife. 

6. Participate in all functions on the in-laws side. 

7. During summers, when the wife visits her parents for a few weeks, go to drop her and then go to pick her up. Spending at least one night at the in-laws' place on both occasions. 

8. Take wife, parents, and kids to the doctor whenever the need arises. 

9. Perform routine repairs in the house or cause them to be done. 

10. Touch parents' feet every morning and night if they are in a joint family. 

11. Take wife and kids to an outing every Sunday, spending time with them and making memories. 

12. Take family to the kids' PTM, annual day function, school picnic etc. Drop the children and pick them up. 

13. Buy the monthly ration based on the list given by Shri mati ji. 

14. On all matters of how the house will be run, what will be bought, what gifts will be given, and how the house will be decorated, defer to the wife. 

15. Be home straight after office, no hobnobbing with male friends after work, and no working late into the night. 

16. No speaking to any bhabhiji without the wife being present. Absolutely no calls or messages from female colleagues on one's phone. 

17. With or without kids, never reaching home drunk. Ever. 

18. Gifting wife a piece of gold jewelry at all important occasions like birthday and anniversary. 

19. Making financial and investment decisions for the family's secure future. 

20. Ensuring that all family poojas are conducted by the couple jointly, as mandated by Hinduism (and most Indic religions). 

21. Have children within 2 years of marriage. 

Notice something? 

Many of the duties of a trad husband do not get done at all. 

The things on the wife's plate are more or less exactly as they were. 

Many things from the husband's plate are now on the wife's plate. 

2 lessons for me here: 

1. I understand why women are turning "feminist" 

2. When men ask for trad wives, are they also ready to be trad husbands? Because that is how that system works. 

What do you think? 

अनुरोध: एक पाती परिपाटी के नाम*

पाती: Letter 

परिपाटी: Tradition 

अनुरोध:

एक पाती

परिपाटी के नाम

 

तुम मेरे पैरों में

पायल बनना

बेड़ी नहीं

 

मेरे हाथों में

हाथफूल बनना

हथकड़ी नहीं

 

सत्य की

चेतना बनना

सती की

चिता नहीं

 

मेरी प्यारी परंपरा,  

तुमसे केवल यह अनुरोध:

  

पथ को

प्रशस्त करना

मन को

परास्त नहीं

 

A Letter to Tradition

In my feet 

be the anklet 

not the shackle 

In my hands 

be the bracelet 

Not the handcuff

Be the voice of reason 

Not the agent of oppression 

My dear Heritage,  

I only ask you this: 

Be the illuminator

of my path 

Not the dampener 

of my spirit. 

As usual, the wordplay is much better in Hindi, but I have really tried to do justice to the thought in English. 

 

 

In case you think your partner is oh so dumb.

I have seen that men find a special pleasure in making their wives feel dumb and unimportant. 

This post is for them: 

She married you. If you think only a dumb fuck would marry you, you need to work on your self-concept. Not her intelligence. 

PS: This quote also applies to women who think their husbands are so stupid. They are not. They married you. It would have taken some intelligence to choose you over the others. 

Pakistan becomes the first country to successfully deal with illegal residents

 While we were busy with other major news, Pakistan, on October 3rd, asked everyone living illegally in the country to move out voluntarily by November 1st or be arrested, and thousands of people left - on their own.

The UN tried to intervene, the Afghan government tried to influence, but the *interim* government of Pakistan kept its stand unchanged. They must leave, or they will be arrested.

This, from an interim government.

Some of these undocumented people reached Pakistan in 1979 but never documented themselves or applied for refugee/citizen status.

This makes Pakistan the first country in the world to successfully deal with illegal immigration.

PS: Is there a human cost? Sure. Is this the right thing to do? No idea. But I think it deserves to be recognised that Pakistan became the first country to issue a warning and actually get illegal residents to voluntarily leave.

Voting for the Congress solves one kind of problems

Karnataka had a hijab problem. 

Karnataka voted Congress to power. 

Karnataka does not have a hijab problem since then*. 

Now, Karnataka has a bankruptcy problem. 

#July 2024 

* No hijab rule was passed. As soon as the Congress was voted to power, all protests asking for the right to wear hijab stopped completely. 

Book Review: Khushwant Singh's Joke Book 9

It might feel strange to review a joke book. But joke books are what converted a child from a non-reader to a reader. 

Jokes are underrated. Humour is the lubrication of human interactions. 

So, joke books, in my book, are right up there.  

For my generation, Khushwant Singh is up there when it comes to joke books. 

And yet... this book disappoints spectacularly. 

The jokes are ALL old, mostly lame, and some downright incendiary. My most hated "joke" is this: 

Morning: Incense; Night: Incest 

Morning: Shivling; Night: Cunnilingus 

- the contributor of this "Joke" is Karan Thapar from Delhi. 

Give this book a complete miss. 

The Journey of my Meditation

There are very few academic decisions that my parents have forced upon me. I can remember only one. As the school topper, I had the choice of junior college (we go to a junior college for grades 11 and 12). My mother insisted that I have to join Maharishi College. So, I did. 

One of the best decisions EVER. 

Maharishi is based on the principles of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Every day, 2 twenty minute sessions of Transcendental Meditation were mandatory. 15 year olds don't want to meditate. So, I used to think about random stuff during meditation. 

During the 12th Board Exams, however, i started doing meditation to relax between the study sessions. It started small - 5 minutes after every 25 minutes of studying. 

That is where the meditation journey started - at the age of 17.  

We had a pooja room in the house and every morning, we had to pray before leaving home. Those 5 minutes of meditation became a lifelong habit. I have now meditated pretty much every day for 30 years. 

The practice itself has evolved. 

Here are the changes I have observed: 

A. Calm. I used to be a very angry soul - easily angered. Over a period of time, that changed to being the kind of person that is rarely, if ever, hassled. 

B. Thoughts in head - For 90% of things, if someone asks me, what do you think? I do not think. Not everything begets an emotional or intellectual response. Not sure if this is good or bad. It just is. 

C. I was fortunate to be in a small organisation where everyone practised Reiki. That is how I got exposed to healing through meditation. A part of my meditation has been healing and aura reading. Sometimes, it has helped people with pain relief. Sometimes, it helps to communicate with a family member who is in coma. The greatest challenge of this practice is that one knows that one should not fight with God or destiny, but there are times when I have. I do not regret it. 

D. I am very, very sensitive to who I meet and where I spend time. There are places from which I will exit immediately. People whom I meet once and am ready to be lifelong friends with. 

E. I did three sessions of past life regression to understand some of the knots I was experiencing in this birth. Recollecting those births and the karmic balance one has to restore in this birth helped my comprehension of this birth a lot. 

F. There is no concept of achievement or failure. Everything is just what it is. If one appears in lots of press articles, that is fine. If one has to shut down a business, that hurts, but that is fine too. 

G. I approach most things and people from a place of love. My default emotion is love. 

H. And this is my greatest experience - after you have climbed the steps, done the siddhis, worked the miracles, after you have done everything of that, you will experience sam bhaav - a sense of equanimity. And after you have experienced equanimity, you will experience Anand - joy for its own sake. I experience it for a very brief period, but am waiting for the time when Ananda is the default state. Ananda cannot be described. It can only be experienced. As a younger person, I did not want Ananda, i wanted to experience the Navarasas in this physical existence. :) 

Very recently, I have been started on a new meditation practice that is different from my lifelong work of healing. I am enjoying this new place and learning a lot. 

I do have a meditation name that is different from my Earth name. It was given to me very early in meditation and has over the years, proved to be very very true.