On Office politics

वो समझता था कि वो सूरज है तो उसके आस पास अंधेरा हो ही नहीं सकता। 

उसे याद रखना चाहिए था कि परछाई भी एक चीज़ होती है, और कुछ लोग, परछाई के जैसे होते हैं - ठीक सूरज की नाक के नीचे, उसी की रोशनी इस्तेमाल कर के, अंधेरा फैलाते हैं। 

She thought she was the sunshine, so she could light up everything around her. 

She should have considered shadows. She should have known that some people are like shadows - they use the light of the sun to create darkness. 

*The post is deliberately written as He in Hindi and She in English. Its not a translation error :) 

Book Review: Dark Horse by Nilotpal Mrinal

The story is about IAS aspirants who live in Delhi and prepare for their exams - THE Indian Civil Service. 

Many of these aspirants are from Bihar. The story features these protagonists from various backgrounds - mostly rural and poor, and is a general story of their triumphs, losses, families, and frustrations. 

The book is well written and even though there are multiple characters, each character has only one dominant trait, so one does not easily get lost. 

Its a good, breezy read. 

Surprisingly good ideas that popped in my head - I

 We all know that the Deccan plateau is made of volcanic rocks.

But... where is the crater?

*********************** 

And we are at Today

I loved him 

and he loved me too. 

Then he stopped. 

And I.... didn't. 

*Notes: The title is to be read first, then the piece, and then the title again. Instead of saying And I... never did, i stayed with a single word, but struggled to communicate the continuity of the emotion. So, the title covered that. 

I hope you like it. 

** The piece is inspired by Neruda's "Tonight i can write the saddest lines" 

On turning 21

Why didn't you tell me you were not well? 

Because you would have just laughed it off and said, 'You're a horse. You will only die of old age.'. I wanted to have the pleasure of looking you in the eye and telling you, "I'm not a horse. I am a girl. I will not die of old age. I will die of a broken heart." 

Goodbye to the Salim-Javed ideology - Once more

I was raised on the Salim-Javed brand of communist manifesto cinema in India - in which the poor are good just because they are poor and the rich are bad just because they are rich. Of course, if they are rich, they must be bloodsuckers and corrupt bribers because what other way is there to get rich? 

In 1991, India had to physically ship its gold just to retain its financial sovereignty. One of the lowest points any country could see. No one said it then, but I can say it now - THAT low point was the result of the communist policies of our government from 1947 - 1990. What started as a welfare state soon turned into a pseudo communist state, and under Indira, the cultural colonisation of India was completed. (Watch Tashkent Files for details). 

But as one grew up, one realised that not all rich people are bad. In fact, in India. most people - rich or poor - definitely donate a percentage of their earnings to "something good". Common sense states that 10% of a larger pie will lead to a greater impact. 

And that is when the narrative of Salim - Javed fell through for me. The rich are not blood suckers. They are silent philanthropists. Not all of them are good. Not all of them are bad. The poor are not good just by virtue of being poor. They are poor also because they spend their money on alcohol and beat up their wives and kids. Some of them are hardworking and caught in a whirlpool of circumstances. But for many, many of them, the Salim-Javed narrative created a mental exit barrier out of poverty. They were led to believe that the poor have a support system for each other. Exiting poverty would lead to the end of that support system. 

Unfortunately, we now have a country that believes that being poor is a free pass to doing illegal things and getting away with it. 

We also have generations that believe that being poor is not their fault. They have no obligation to create wealth, educate their children, and work towards a wealthier future. And a large chunk of the population that believes it is the government's responsibility to take care of their education, health, and employment. That it is their right to steal electricity, grab land, and generally take advantage of public infrastructure. 

The welfare state may have been a Utopian idea, but it was an idea worth pursuing - one in which the rich can be rich and the poor would be supported.  

But one thing it cannot discount - individual accountability. The state owes you an electricity and clean water connection. But you need to pay for your consumption. The state owes you subsidised medical facilities - but you need to ensure that you use them responsibly. The state owes you subsidised food, but one needs to have smaller families that strive to get out of the poverty whirlpool. 

Is education the panacea? Are small families the best solution? No. there is no one best solution. There cannot be a universal cure. But the INTENT to move out of poverty - the idea of individual responsibility - that has to be universal. 

 

Film Review

 #SheSaid on #Netflix

There are many worlds in our world. But for most women facing sexual harassment at the workplace, there was only one world - the Kingdom of Silence.

Until #MeToo happened. And then, all hell broke lose. Harvey Weinstein went from being a hotshot Hollywood producer to a PNG.

But have you ever wondered how it happened? Who took the first step? Who filed the first report? The first case? How is one of the most important people in the film industry spending 23 +16 years in prison?

This 2022 masterpiece is one of the most powerful documentaries in the already impressive Netflix repertoire. It is important enough to pause other "Continue Watching"s for a day.

Film Review: Fighter

 #Fighter on #Netflix 

Everyone has been panning Fighter, but we cannot underplay one achievement of the director - it takes a LOT to have such terrible casting, incredibly bad choreo, a mishmash of masala mixes that create total confused cacophony, and STILL lend your name to the project. This has to be a broth cooked by too many cooks. One person would have lent SOME personality to the story telling. This is like bhanumati ne kunba joda, kahin ki eent kahin ka roDa. 

It's a proper case of "What were they thinking?" 

I started this film for HR, and he is the only watchable part of the film. But that "Sher khul gaye" step made it hard to even see him! 

Everyone who wanted to see the film already has, but if, like me, you are among the late junta, looking to see some decent movie to kill time, this is NOT it. Unless you are a HUGE Hrithik fan. And even then, its a test of your love. How much nonsense can you tolerate just to see him on screen. #NotExaggerating. 

The only exception being the restaurant "Please" scene - which you can see on Youtube. 

Some ppl have liked the CGI and the action sequences. I wouldn't know. I dont know of a universe in which every other flight goes down with a single hit but one aircraft takes hits like it is a punching bag and keeps going. I also dont know of two aircrafts that collide mid air and the pilots eject just in time, exactly over the battle spot, and continue to become ground warriors. And these are only the parts that one could watch. Baaki to forward karne laayak bhi nahi tha. 

So wonderful is the chemistry between the lead pair that the eventual kiss scene had my brain going - Tissot Meets Rado (Not making this up. Seriously this popped up in my head as that scene played). 

If you are into action cinema, this *might* be your thing. Might. 

For everything else, there's plenty out there. 

Quick Summary: Hrithik Roshan is great, but even he can't save this film. 

Book Review: The Other Side of Midnight by Sidney Sheldon

 Brilliant book! Easy to read. Classic Sidney Sheldon content. 

yun hi

कृष्ण  बाल सुलझाते 

रास रचाते 

वैकुण्ठ में बसाते 

लडकियां 

व्रत रखती हैं 

जटाधारी, रूखे 

निर्जन कैलाश वासी 

शिव के लिए. 

 #एकपत्नीव्रती  

Pustak Sameeksha / Book Review - Rochak Kahaniyaan by Ramakant "Kant"

 

सबसे पहले तो ये कि पुस्तक का शीर्षक एकदम सटीक है। सभी कहानियाँ बेहद रोचक हैं। ये कहानियाँ 8 - 12 साल के बच्चों के लिए एकदम ठीक हैं। कहानी में इतने उतार चढ़ाव हैं, कि तनिक बड़े बच्चों की रुचि बनी रहे, और इतनी सरलता भी है, कि कुछ अच्छा समझने को मिले। 

"जेब खर्च" कहानी मुझे सबसे अच्छी लगी क्यूंकि एक सर्वव्यापी समस्या का इस में सरल समाधान दिया गया है। अगर सभी थोड़ी सूझ बूझ से काम लें तो बचपन की जटिलताएँ कितनी सहल हो सकती हैं। लखपति भिखारी भी बहुत अच्छी लगी क्यूंकि अमूमन बच्चों कि कहानियों में आसान से हाल दिए जाते हैं, पर इस कहानी में पूरा तरीका विस्तार से समझाया गया। 

10 कहानियों और केवल 56 पन्नों वाली यह पुस्तक किसी भी उनींदी दोपहर को एकमुश्त पढ़ी जा सकती है।  

हर कहानी सोचने पर विवश करती है। इस पुस्तक को जरूर पढिए। 

The title is absolutely accurate! The stories are really, really interesting. 

They are complex enough to appeal to a young adult, yet the themes are challenges that are relevant to older children. It is not easy to weave a story that is just right. 

The book is a pithy, quick read at 10 stories and just 56 pages. It is a delight to go through this book. 

The story - Jeb Kharch is my favorite, bcs it forces us to think of things and shows us how easy it can be to manage life's problems with just a little maturity on the part of everyone. 

The other good story is Lakhpati Bhikhari, because it takes a problem and illustrates a good solution approach in adequate detail. 

The book is highly recommended. Please do get this book for adults and young adults. 

इन रंगों को जानते हैं?

इन में से कितने रंग पहचानते हैं आप? 

धानी 

कत्थई   

प्याज़ी 

सुरमई 

फिरोज़ी 

मेहंदी 

तोतिया 

सलेटी 

आसमानी 

सुर्ख 

सिंदूरी 

  Scroll down for answers: 

धानी - Bright green - the colour of the rice crop 

कत्थई   - brown 

प्याज़ी - magenta

सुरमई - dark black 

फिरोज़ी - turquoise 

मेहंदी - Henna 

तोतिया - parrot green

सलेटी - grey 

आसमानी - sky blue 

सुर्ख - blood red 

सिंदूरी - Vermillion red 

Book Review: Unofficial Crimes by Nupur Luthra

I have a weakness for going to bookstores and picking up indie books. 

This has led to the reading of many good books. 

Unofficial Crimes by Nupur Luthra is a book of short stories. Most of the stories have a component of the supernatural. It would have been nice to put that more prominently on the blurb, instead of a passing reference in the last line. 

The stories are intriguing, for the most part. The book is short and you can decide quickly whether or not a story is working for you. The writing style is good. 

Unfortunately, for me, this book is an avoidable miss. The plots did not speak to me at all. The first story started with two murders and completely side-stepped into a ghostly adventure for the girlfriend of one of the victims. From there, it kind of went downhill. If some plots held promise, that promise was soon washed out by quickly glossed over solutions. But the pace was excellent. The stories were not slow. If anything, they were, at places, too fast-paced to allow the reader to get the scene before moving on to the next event. 

The book is available on Amazon India and has decent reviews. 

https://www.amazon.in/UNOFFICIAL-CRIMES-COLLECTION-SHORT-STORIES/dp/B0B6SK6G6T

A lifetime of being judged

I have a condition.  I don't know what it's called, but it has often been called laziness, lack of personal discipline, and other judgmental names. 

The condition is simply this - my body needs to be asleep at a certain time every day. 

You might find this familiar - there are many people who say that they fall ill if they are not in bed by 10 pm. Many people who turn down late night parties because their bodies just cannot deal with the late nights. And also, they have to be up at 4 am, because that is when their brains feel brightest. We at least now have a name for this - every body's natural rhythm where the body and mind peak at a certain time of the day. 

So, you know the condition. But why am I called lazy, disruptive, and not disciplined at all for my condition? 

Because in my Circadian rhtythm, that time is 10 am to 11 am. And the time I need to be awake because my brain is the most active at that time - is 11 pm to 2 am. 

I am 47, and have fought this labeling of being lazy for at least 36 of those 47 years. I have suffered from migraine, allergies, fever just because i was not able to rest my body when it needed rest. Because I needed to be in school or at work. How do I know that it was because of not resting? Because when I woke up feeling unwell and went right back to bed, then woke up after 11 am, i was fine. Hundreds of times. 

A quick Google turns out a term - Type 2 Narcolepsy - the inability of the brain to choose the time of sleep. But here is the thing - Narcolepsy is only a disorder if the person wants to sleep during the day and stay up at night. Inability to sleep at night is also a disorder - insomnia. It is not a disorder if the person wants to go to bed by 10 pm. 

BUT, what if some bodies are naturally wired to sleep - not with the sun, but against it? If so many people have that as their "natural" situation, then surely, it can't be abnormal? 

If I remain healthy just by following my body's circadian rhythm, should i still feel that i am lazy or sick? (Narcolepsy)? If you look at it, these labels are not disorders - they are just labels. You only have narcolepsy if you need to sleep during the day. Not if you need to be in bed by 10 pm. Both conditions indicate a lack of control over when to sleep and wake up, but only one is a disorder. 

Why am I writing this now? Because my son has the same condition, and he is starting to internalise the same labels that I have internalised for years. He is starting to get the same smirks that I have got for decades. 

"You are so intelligent and so committed. Your work is always complete. Why don't you just wake up on time?" 

"There is no reason for you to be late to work. It is nothing but lack of personal discipline."

********* 

It is so bad that until 5-6 years ago (after I turned 40), I didn't even know what time of the day was the most restful for me. Because every day since childhood had been a mad rush to get to work on time. 

Only after leaving a regular office job did I realise the time at which I get the most restful sleep - 10 to 11 am. Can you imagine that level of lack of self-awareness? 

And I can't even start to talk about the sheer judgement and self-loathing that one goes through. 

Why can't I just get up on time? Why do i need to sleep during the day? 

"The early bird gets the worm."

"By the time you wake up, half the market is done and dusted. How will you make money on the stock market like this?" 

"You are just lazy. There is no other explanation for this. If you lie in bed at 9, you WILL be asleep by 11. It's a guaranteed thing." (No, it wasn't. I went to bed every single day at 9, and then tossed and turned till 2 am. Every single night. For years. And now, my son does the same thing. He is tossing and turning till 1 am at least.) 

So, people, finally, I am saying this - we cannot help it that our bodies have a Circadian rhythm that is not aligned to the sun, but against it. That does not make us bad people (Rakshasa, as my grandmother would say - only rakshasas get active at night). It does not make us lazy. And it definitely does not mean we have no personal discipline. 

I do not want more people to fall ill because the world does not understand something as simple as a different Circadian rhythm. So, I have to talk. And hopefully, someone out there will benefit because someone understood. 

Peace. 

तिल- मूली

छोटे थे, 

तो माँ तिल मूली छकाती थी 

हम नाक भौं सिकोड़ते थे 

मुंह बनाते थे 

माँ ने तिल मूली चखाना बंद कर दिया 

बड़े हुए, 

पिता बने.  

माँ को फोन किया 

"माँ, वो जो आप तिल मूली की रस्म कराती थीं, 

वो कैसे करते हैं?" 

 

We were young. 

Mom used to make us eat

Til and Radish 

We hated it 

Made faces 

Mom stopped

Then, we grew up 

Had a baby. 

One day, 

Called Mom, 

"Mom, What was that til and radish thing 

that you used to do for us?" 

Dil nu Lod

 ਦਿਲ ਨੂਂ ਲੋੜ 

ਆਪਣੇ ਆਲੇ ਦੁਆਲੇ 

ਨ ਉੱਚੀਆਂ ਕੰਦਾਂ ਦੀ, 

ਨਾ ਮੁੜੀਆਂ ਕੰਡਾਂ ਦੀ 

ਦਿਲ ਨੂਂ ਲੋੜ 

ਆਪਣੇ ਆਲੇ ਦੁਆਲੇ 

ਸੱਚਿਯਾਂ ਗੱਲਾਂ ਦੀ

ਨੀਗੀਯਾਂ  ਜੱਫੀਆਂ ਦੀ 

Dil nu Lod 

Apne aale duaale 

na uchchiyaan kandaan dii 

na muDiyaan KanDaan dii 

Dil nu loD 

apne aale duaale 

Sachchiyaan gallaan di 

nigiyaan Jaffiyaan di 

The heart is not saved by  

high walls 

or turned backs 

The heart wants

to be enveloped by 

real conversations

and warm hugs. 

     

Katran

I am scared of love. 

I know.  That's why you have built these high walls around your heart. 

And? 

I am here to break down the walls, then use the bricks to build a home together. 

********* 

An English katran is rare for me. But this one, I think, can best be expressed in this language. 

 

How do deity based energies heal?

To heal I, I reached out to the energies of Shiva, Panchmukhi Hanuman, and Durga. 

So, a question that keeps coming is - What are these energies? How do they fit in the overall spiritual domain? This is the first time I have actually experienced these energies. 

While various answers were coming, I was aware that the brain is befuddled and not really processing all inputs. 

Today, as things sorted a little bit, the answer I got was clearer: 

Each energy has its own wavelength and medium. They exist for specific purposes. Think of them as light waves or other waves that you are familiar with. The energies co-exist with other spiritual energies. There is no "leveling" between these energies. 

It is possible that you might experience the energy of Ganpati, Jesus, or any other name from any other part of the world. The names are for us to identify the energy. The energies are owned by conscious entities. That is why praying to specific entities helps. This is the logic behind ancient civilizations having Gods for everything. We were invoking energies owned by conscious entities capable of directing energies. 

What are these conscious entities like? 

You cannot imagine them. Because you have not been on that plane yet. Just know that these entities are eternal and conscious. At this time, that is all you can know. 

How does this interact with the overall spiritual energy of aura, healing, etc.? 

They co-exist. It's a vast domain and you are only just starting to get to know more about it. Think of it as a new world. There are many, many things in this world. You will encounter many things. Some, you will be able to compare to concepts, ideas, and things in your physical world. But many, many others, are very new to you. Be open to learning. There is a LOT to learn. As each portal opens, new things, new concepts will be gradually revealed. You will learn the lessons you are ready for, and be confused by the others. That is the most human way of explaining this. But it doesn't come close to what you will *know* a little later in this journey.  

Film Review: Vaccine War - Vivek Ranjan Agnihotri's film

 #VaccineWar on #Hotstar

Just finished watching this film. (kind of late to the party)

This is that #NeverForget2020 kind of film.

Apart from the acting, the perfect casting, the taut storytelling, this was a very emotional film for me.

mRNA was being developed since 2012 but had NEVER been approved for human use. And suddenly, on a virus we didn't know, a tech we had never used before was approved for human use.

I read the CDC submissions of Moderna and Pfizer. Both companies had NEVER tested anyone - neither the control group nor the vaccinated group - for the actual presence of the virus after vaccination. The success rate was based on absence of symptoms. Let that sink in. Absence of symptoms. Not absence of virus. Much less proven antibodies to virus.

All foreign companies were given indemnity against adverse reactions to the virus by the US, and made that a precondition to giving the virus to any country globally. India refused to give this indemnity. For many countries, the choices were between Sputnik and China's vaccines.

There are two proven vaccination techs - dead virus and weakened virus. Because the virus was new and lab-enhanced, I relied on the dead virus tech (Covaxin). At that time, everyone around me laughed at me. The propaganda against Covaxin was at its peak.

But in spite of all this, I had never spared a thought for the scientists who would have spent days and nights getting this vaccine out so quickly - until this movie came out. This truly was a war that could only be fought by science - and it was.

The film made me realise that this war was unique for two reasons:

1. It was the first bioweapon based world war.
2. It was also the first world war fought through fake news, misinformation, and institutional manipulation by nation states.

If that's not worth remembering, I don't know what is.

#NeverForget2020.

A rental house

किराये के घर हर शहर में मिल जाते हैं। और उतने वक़्त के लिए, वे हमारे पूरे घर होते हैं - जिन्हें हम दिवाली पर सजाते हैं, जहां रात को परिवार के साथ खाना खाते हैं, और बेतकल्लुफ़ी से बगलें खुजाते हैं। 

किराये के घर की झिक झिक भी कहाँ होती है? न 20 साल बाद ज़ंग लगे पानी के पाइप बदलवाना, न बोरवेल को हर चौथे साल गहरा खुदवाना। कुछ नहीं करना पड़ता। 

पर मन के पिछले कोने में एक चिट सी रखी रहती है, जो ये जानती है, कि ये घर बस मियाद भर का है। 

किराये के मकान में हम झूले नहीं टाँगते। और बाग़बानी गमलों में करते हैं। 

*************** 

Postscript: 

अपना घर हर किसी का सपना नहीं होता।  किराये के मकानों में जीवन काटा जा सकता है। सुख से। 

This piece is in response to a small poetry discussion on a poetry Whatsapp group. Will copy paste the two original poems tomorrow with credits to the poets. 

Boys will be Boys

लड़के कहाँ देख पाते हैं 

अपने जूतों से गंदा होता हुआ फर्श 

खा कर वहीं रखे जूठे बर्तन 

या पूरे कमरे में फैले उनके गंदे कपड़े। 

पर पति 

झट से देख पाते हैं 

टीवी पर जमी धूल 

धुले ग्लास पर पानी का धब्बा 

और कमीज़ का वह हिस्सा

जो इस्तरी होना रह गया। 

Boys can never see

the mud marks their shoes leave

on the carpet 

or the dirty dishes on their side tables 

or the laundry strewn all over the room. 

But husbands 

can immediately notice

the dust on the TV 

the water mark on a washed tumbler

and the un-ironed part 

of the shirt collar. 

******** 

After a long time, wrote a poem that i really liked writing. 

Happy New Year 2024!

इक ब्राह्मण ने कहा है, के ये साल अच्छा है 

पुराने दर्द, रोग, और लड़ाई का  

इस साल होगा खात्मा 

पुराने प्रेम, पत्र, और अफसर का 

इस साल होगा सामना 

अवसाद गया, अवसर आया 

भंडार थकें भर-भर माया 

 

अकेले हो तो पाओ साथ 

थकेले हो? बन जाओ खास 

जो भी हो मन की आस 

इस बरस आए तुम्हारे पास 

भीतर देखो, तो पाओ के मन बच्चा है 

इक ब्राह्मण ने कहा है, के ये साल अच्छा है 

With Apologies to Sabir Dutt, whose ghazal was sung by Jagjeet Singh ji. 

I started this year with that song in head, but on hearing, realised its a sad song. so, took the first line and converted it to a positive wish for the year.