Book Review: Aabshaar by Gul (Guldeep Kaur Dheer)

This book was published in 1989, so doubt its still in print. There is no listed publisher so very likely, it was self published by the poet - Guldeep Kaur Dheer, who writes as "Gul". I just found out that she retired as HoD at Chandigarh, and spoke at the Litfest in 2025! 

The cover is intriguing - simple blue and white image. 

The writing is good in places. In keeping with the norm of the times, focus is on using literary words. 

But the spirit of the poet, thankfully, does not bow to the laws of the poem world all the time. 

Some favorite pieces from the book: 

लाके अपना वजूद इस जहां में 

बना दिया खुदा को, तूने कर्ज़दार 

This is my most favorite sher in the whole book. Some other pieces are lovely too. I will post them shortly. 

कुछ टूट गया है, फिर भी बंधा है कुछ 

किस अदा से तूने रिश्ते कि डोर तोड़ी है 

अब अकेले हैं, शशोपंज दोराहे का लिए 

कौन से मोड़ पे तूने ये डगर मोड़ी है 

******* 

मसरूफ़ हैं मसर्रत में, ज़रा ठहरो, 

जन्नत बन रही है खलवत में, ज़रा ठहरो! 

****** 

मुद्दतों मुंतज़िर रहे, इस सवाल के, जो तू पूछे, 

"क्या मेरे बिन, इतने दिन, तू इतनी उदास रही?" 

***** 

गुलों, सितारों तक को राज़दां बनाया तुमने 

इस लंबी फेहरिस्त में, मेरा ही नाम नहीं 

**** 

"सिवा तेरे"  - अच्छी लगी। 

* * 

मौजों में देखते थे, अपने ख्वाबों की ताबीर 

संग डाल के मिटा दी तूने, प्यार की तस्वीर 

** 

न मेरे कदम तेरे डर पे रुकते हैं 

न तेरे लबों से 'ठहरो' की सदा आती है 

बिना बादबां के ज़ीस्त की कश्ती 

चल पड़ती है जिधर से भी मौज आती है 

नहीं नहीं अपनी बेबस नज़रों से हमें न देख 

मेरे हाथों की लकीरों को खुद पे हया आती है 

********* 

खेल खेल में शुरू हुई थी जो बात 

रुकते रुकते अफ़साने तलक आ पहुंची 

मेरे दर्द, मेरी सिसकियों कि आवाज़, 

बेवजह तेरे आशियाने तलक आ पहुंची 

फिर किसी ने बेइरादा छेड़ दिया साज़ 

फिर मेरी ग़ज़ल वीराने तलक जा पहुंची 

शमा ने तो सरापा खुद को लगाई चिंगारी 

इसकी तपश कैसे ज़माने तलक जा पहुंची 

******** 

  

C PTSD notes

This is not really therapy zone, but one thing abt C-PTSD is sooo true. The hard part is not living thru the tough times. That happens. the hard part begins after you are safe. Thats whent he memories attack you - in no particular order, with no warning. You are safe. After years of lack of safety, you know how grateful you should be for that safety. But you are not grateful. You are fearful. And you don't understand why. 

So, after much resistance and nearly a year of therapy, I have had the courage to write abt what C PTSD is doing to the head. 

If this is triggering for you, please do skip these posts. Thank you, for coming back to the blog. I really am grateful for everyone who still visits. 

***********

At first, you will count the days since you last spoke 

Slowly, the days will melt into each other. 

The grief will either solidify into lead or wax. 

If it becomes lead, it will poison you slowly. 

If it becomes wax, it will melt at each heartwarming thing, and burn you just a little bit. 

************ 

Letter to Gen Z

Dear Gen Z 

I'm exhausted. Let's just pass the baton of the world to you and retire. Dealing with you is mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. 

You are, at the very least, united in religion - Individualism. "Mental Health" and "Protecting my peace" are the mool mantras of your religion. Ayn Rand would be proud. The rest of us are just perplexed. 

Being inconsiderate is a flex! 

Even though Gen AI came out in November 2022 (that's just 4 years ago), you are incapable of writing an email without it. Your grammar is creative, punctuation misses the point, and the less said about your ability to structure an email, the better. 

You are a generation that grew up on respawning video games and Ctrl Z. The concept of finality, consequences, etc., is alien to you. You also do not need to get anything right the first time because "So what? it can always be done again." We grew up without Ctrl Z. We learnt to get it right the first time. We captured the world through 36 exposure reels, not 1000 shots on an iphone and filters to boot. We do not understand the concept of doing 10 times what can be done right the first time. 

Working with you is like living a nightmare. You do not understand the concept of keeping stakeholders informed. You mess up first and consult later. Your PTO is your not-negotiable birthright. Your KPIs, on the other hand, are completely optional. 

You are constantly asking what everyone else brings to the table. In all these years, I have only seen u bring Zomato or Blinkit deliveries to the table. 

You have SO MANY ideas. So much entitlement that everyone needs to hear your ideas out. Why? Why do we need to listen to half-baked ideas? Learn to refine them, find a presentation layer that is not claude generated, then bring them to everyone else. 

You may not be able to think through a scenario fully, but that has never stopped you from interrupting whoever is trying. 

We want to put you in Sales, but you cannot make a pitch. 

We would put you in Coding, but you cannot do it without Claude. 

We would put you in Law, but you cannot write a brief. 

We would put you in Hospitality, but the hours would kill your mojo. 

We would put you in administration, but balancing 3 things together is too much stress. 

We could put you in teaching, but for that you would have to know something first. 

And finally, dear Gen Z, here is what Gen X would like to say: 

To betray you must first belong. 

To desire you must first deserve. 

And even in the dictionary, Responsibilities come before Rights. 

Please, please, take my responsibilities. Deliver the work. Let us retire and rest. The workplace should not be a battleground of the generations. The future belongs to you. No reason the present also should not. 

Best, 

A tired Gen Xer. 

Why its really, really hard to interact with you: 

You have NO IDEA what Please means. You have never said sorry in life. You do not apologise because in your eyes, you are never wrong. 

When we were in a relationship, it was an exclusive commitment, usually leading to marriage. Sure, we had flings that did not lead to marriage. We did not have a buffet of situationship, FWB, FB, polyamory......it feels like everyone has such a spread of choices now but no one is feeling satiated.  

When we had to break up, we broke up. When we had to fight, we fought. We did not ghost, gaslight, breadcrumb, love bomb, bench, etc. The inability to say "I don't think this is working out" or "I think we need to talk" - WHY are you incapable of saying these sentences? 

You do not understand the concept of respect. Not for seniority, not for intelligence. Not even for good work. Or rizz. Your respect lasts one second, and then you are on to the next distraction. 

You have the memory of a goldfish. You cannot read maps. You cannot navigate your neighbourhood without a maps app. You cannot talk to strangers. We walked to a park and joined whoever was playing whatever. We made friends with fellow passengers 15 minutes after the train rolled out of the station and reached everywhere using paper maps and asking strangers for directions. We learnt how to get along with people because we NEEDED to. You don't. 

Mark Twain once said - The world owes you nothing. In your mind, the world owes you EVERYTHING. It is you who owes the world nothing. 

Ghazal

बड़े हैरान हो जी मेरी चालाकियों से 

ये सब चालाकियाँ तुम ही से सीखी हैं। 

 

डोली से उतरी थी सादा दिल गुड्डी

सभी मक्कारियाँ तुम ही से सीखी हैं 

तुम्हीं ने चुप रहना सिखाया है,  

और अय्यारियां तुम ही से सीखी  हैं

What love means?

गौरी के साथ खड़े होने के लिए 

शिव होना पड़ता है 

गंगा को भी धरना हो तो 

गंगाधर होना ज़रूरी है

(बनना नहीं, होना) 

कृष्ण को तो 

राधा भी नहीं मिलती। 

#StrengthOfCharacter 

In Indian mythology, Shiva stands for steadfastness, lack of guile, and straightforward communication. 

Shiva, who was not ostentatious, had Shakti herself perform penance to have him as her husband. 

When she jumped into the fire of her father's sacred yagya, a distraught Shiva carried her body until the Gods were forced to intervene. Every place that a part of her body fell, is a Shaktipeeth temple (a seat of power). 

Shiva is not known to have any other wives. 

Krishna stands for demonstrative, evident, but non-exclusive love. In mythology, Krishna has 8 wives, 16,000 consorts, but not Radha. 

The piece is trying to say that for a worthy woman to choose you, you have to be worthy on the inside. You cannot try to be a person worth having. You have to inherently BE that person. A person who is demonstrative can become folklore, but cannot have the love in real life. That takes demonstrated character every single day. 

For someone to trust you (Ganga trusted Shiva to hold and support her as she descends from the heavens to Earth), you have to BE trustworthy. You cannot learn it, you have to BE it. 

Was talking to some colleagues and the question came up - what does love mean to you? Hence the title. 

Dear Canva 

My Teams Pro subscription expired primarily because I just wasn't using you enough. 

You discontinued the Teams package altogether and upped the cost to 5x for the same work. Not bad. 

There is no customer support to talk to. So, no, not gonna sign up. 

The desktop app is a very nice touch. Not needed, but nice touch. 

The way you deleted all my content, however, is another story.  

The difference between having a human to talk to and not having a human to talk to - is the subscription revenue of folks who don't really need your service, but take it all the same. And customers who wanted to talk to someone before moving to competition (which, by the way, is free).  

Regards

Currently-Disgruntled-Ex-Customer 

Tumhare liye

 सुनो, जान! 

तुम झूठ मत बोला करो - 

एक तो तुम प्यारे नहीं लगते 

और दूसरा 

तुम पकड़े जाते हो। 

Book Review: Umr 45 Batlayi Gayi thi उम्र पैंतालीस बतलाई गई थी

 

कहानी या कविता, लेखक/कवि के बच्चे जैसी होती है। किसी के बच्चे की आलोचना करना अच्छा नहीं लगता। अधिकाधिक हम यह कह देते हैं कि हमारे type की किताब नहीं थी। 

कभी यूं भी होता है कि किसी लेखक के नकारात्मक विचार हमारे विचारों से मेल नहीं खाते परंतु हम उन्हें उस लेखक का यथार्थ समझ सकते हैं। 

यह पुस्तक समीक्षा उन दोनों वर्गों में नहीं आती। 

******** 

कहानी के कुछ अनिवार्य तत्व होते हैं - एक नायक, एक खलनायक, कुछ घटनाएँ, अंत में, सभी सिरों को जोड़ता हुआ एक समाधान। 

इस पुस्तक की कहानियों में केवल खलनायक हैं। लोग या तो बुरे हैं या बेचारे। 

चलिए ठीक, नायक, खलनायक न सही। तो कहानी में रह जाती है - घटनाक्रम की रोचकता, भाषा की सुंदरता... 

घटनाक्रम कभी जाम में फांसी गाड़ी की गति से बढ़ता है, कभी लूनी नदी की तरह घुमावदार, किन्तु अंत में रेगिस्तान में ही विलीन होता है - किसी गंतव्य तक नहीं पहुंचता। यह कहा जा सकता है कि रेगिस्तान ही लूनी का गंतव्य है। यह तर्क की दृष्टि से ठीक है, पाठक के अनुभव के लिए सर्वथा निरर्थक। 

रही भाषा की रोचकता, वह यहाँ नहीं है। यदि कुछ रूपक आदि हैं भी तो पुराने। 

इन कहानियों में पढ़ने जैसा कुछ भी नहीं है। न भाषा, न पात्र, न घटनाक्रम। है तो केवल सबके लिए उगले जाने वाला विष। 

*************** 

कुछ रचनाएँ बच्चे नहीं होतीं, ना ही किसी का अनुभव/यथार्थ होती हैं। वे बस विष के बीज होती हैं। ये कहानियाँ उस तीसरी श्रेणी की हैं। 

आंकलन / Evaluation

बस इतना भर ही जानना है मुझे 

जो तुम्हारे किसी काम का नहीं, 

उसके तुम किस काम के हो 

जो तुम्हारा कुछ नहीं बिगाड़ सकता, 

उसका तुम क्या बिगाड़ते हो 

#आंकलन