Sanskaar..

The glass veil
is not made of glass
it is made of
centuries of shame
heaped upon our collective shoulders
and left there
to become
in time
the fertile manure of "sanskaar"
from which,
will emerge
millions of shoulders
who are genetically programmed
to carry the burden of shame
and to transfer it to other shoulders
no matter how unwilling.

Until , one day
a mutation comes
and refuses to carry
the centuries old burden...

To be contd..

Another favourite remembered..

लिखा था जिस किताब में, कि इश्क तो हराम है,
हुई वही किताब गुम, बड़ी हसीन रात थी॥

सवाल गुम, जवाब गुम,

बड़ी हसीन रात थी॥ 

I don't know who wrote this, but its an interesting sher, no? 

nal devta ki kahaani

बहुत दिन हुए, एक झुग्गी झोंपड़ी में एक नल था. वो नल, उस पूरी झुग्गी बस्ती में पानी का इकलौता जरिया था, सो उस का बड़ा मान था.. गर्मी में लोग उस नल के आस पास मेला करते, उसकी पूजा करते, कि घरों में पीने का पानी पहुंचे. लोग बहुत सुबह से उस नल के सामने आ कर बैठ जाते, कि कब पानी आये और कब वो भरें. कभी कभी तो उस तक पहुँचने के लिए मुठभेड़ हो जाती थी.

इस सब से, नल को धीरे धीरे अपने पर गुमान होने लगा. वो समझ गया, कि इन बस्ती वालों का मेरे अलावा सहारा कोई नहीं.. मैं एक दिन न चलूँ, तो ये सब प्यासे मर जायेंगे - दुनिया में कितने ही नल रोज़ बनाते हैं, परे मेरे जैसा भला काम शायद ही कोई नल करता हो.  लोग तो नल को यूँ ही बड़ा भला मानते थे, धीरे धीरे नल भी स्वयं को बड़ा भला मानने लगा - अपने भले मन पर उसे बड़ा नाज़ होने लगा.

पहले बस्ती के लोग उस को महत्व देते, तो वो मुस्कुरा उठता था - मैं बस एक नल, मेरी क्या बिसात, जो मुझे इतना सर चढाते हो.. मैं न लगता, कोई और नल लग जाता.. ये तो मेरा सौभाग्य है कि मेरा जन्म सफल हुआ - इस बस्ती को पानी दे कर, न कि किसी १० नल वाले स्नानघर में लग कर.. पर इस में मेरी कोई भलमनसाहत नहीं.. ये भगवन की मुझ पर कृपा है.. 

बस्ती वाले कहते - ये तो तुम्हारी विनम्रता है भैया, नहीं तो तुम भी तो अमीर महल में लग सकते थे - पर तुम यहाँ आये - तुम इतने साल दर साल पानी दिए जाते हो, न थकते हो, न अघाते हो.. ये तुम्हारा बड़प्पन नहीं तो क्या है.. 

नल को धीरे धीरे इस बात पर विश्वास होने लगा और वो सच ही स्वयं को बड़ा भला नल समझने लगा.. यहाँ तक कि कुछ दिन बाद उसे लगता - मैं इतना भला जीवन जीता हूँ - ये लोग मेरी और उपासना क्यूँ नहीं करते? मुझे नल बाबा या नल देवता क्यूँ नहीं बुलाते ? कैसे अहसान फरामोश लोग हैं, मैं इतना भला नल, और मेरी कोई कद्र नहीं! 

कुछ दिन बाद, ये दंभ देख कर भगवन को ठिठोली सूझी. उन्होंने उस जगह पर पाईप में कचरा फंसा दिया, जहां से नल को पानी जाता था. नतीजा? लाख कोशिश  करे, पर नल खाली! सब लोग हैरान! हमारा नल, और खाली? नल भी हैरान! पानी नहीं आएगा, तो दूंगा कहाँ से? फिर ये लोग मुझे महान कैसे समझेंगे ? मेरी साधना का क्या होगा? मेरे चमत्कार का क्या होगा?

पर पानी को न आना था, न आया.. लोग नल को कोस कोस कर चले गए.. नल सारी  रात बैठा अपने भगवन से लड़ता रहा.. "ये क्या किया? तुम्हारे कारण कितने लोग प्यासे रहे आज? मैंने इतनी साधना की, उसका ये परिणाम? "

सुबह तक , जब भगवन के कान पक गए शिकायत सुन सुन कर, तो भगवन नल के पास आये, और बोले,

"सुनो नल, महानता न तुम में है, न उस पाइप में जो तुम तक पानी लाता है, न उस तालाब में जिस से ये पानी निकाला जाता है. महानता मुझ में भी नहीं.. महानता सृष्टि के इस अविरल चक्र में है, जिस के कारण बारिश होती है, तालाब भरता है, पाइप आता है, और तुम, नल पानी देते हो. पानी चाहे तुम्हारे मुंह से निकलता है, पर तुम उसका स्रोत नहीं हो - न ही तुम उस के लिए कोई श्रेय ले सकते हो.  तुम्हारे मुंह से पानी निकलता ज़रूर है, पर तुम उस के सिर्फ वाहक हो. और ये वाहक होना, तुम्हारा सौभाग्य है, कि तुम्हारा जन्म अछे काम में लग रहा है. तुम किसी बुरी जगह पर भी लगाये जा सकते थे, तुम भली जगह पर भी मटमैला पानी दे सकते थे - पर ये बात, कि तुम में इतने साल में कोई खराबी न आई, और तुम भली जगह लगे, जहां तुम्हारी ज़रुरत थी, ये दोनों बातें, तुम्हारा सौभाग्य हैं, तुम्हारी महानता नहीं. ये याद रखोगे , तो खुश रहोगे.. सिद्धि मुट्ठी की रेत है - पकड़ो, तो फिसले, न पकड़ो, तो पड़ी रहे.. "

जब तुम्हे सिद्धि मिलती है, जब तुम प्रवचन करते हो, तो वो प्रवचन तुम्हारे मुंह से निकलते ज़रूर हैं, पर तुम उनके मालिक नहीं, अधिकारी भी नहीं.. तुम सिर्फ नल के जैसे हो, उनके वाहक. तुम्हारे प्रवचन, प्रकृति के नियम जैसे , शाश्वत सत्य हैं - उनकी महानता का कोई जनक नहीं.. कोई मालिक नहीं.. वे अपने आप में सत्य हैं.. जब वे सत्य तुम्हे सिद्धि के रूप में मिलते हैं, तो वे रेत की तरह तुम्हारी उँगलियों से गुज़र रहे हैं बस.. उन्हें  छू कर तुम्हारी उंगलियाँ पवित्र होती हैं, पर ये तुम्हारी उँगलियों की महानता नहीं.. उनका सौभाग्य है..

i was born
to a dream..
after labour pains
that lasted a lifetime..
cant live in reality
for too long.. :-)

Sandeep Anand

Somewhere, there is a LinkedIn profile that will not get updated. There is a facebook profile that will not see any more status messages. And there are 2 very young children who will never go to temple again with their father.
Because that father is no more. He passed away this morning. He was a colleague. And a friend.
His wife is responsible for the design of the Esha site. And the CLABIL site. And now, for their 2 children.

Nothing can be said for a moment like this. Nothing at all.

I'm a small town girl..

And these are the things that i miss about being in a small town:
1 If someone eveteases you, all you have to do is shout and blows will rain upon him, while you are escorted home as "dear daughter"

2 If you are traveling alone with a child, no one will think twice before taking all your luggage and escorting you to a car and ensuring that you are comfortable before moving on.

3. Everyone knows everyone and if your child misbehaves, you can rest assured that you will hear of it before the evening is done.

4. No one can do something morally wrong (like cheating on a spouse, troubling the DIL, abusing a child or a step child et al) and hope to get away with "none of your business" to the neighbors, or to those who know.

5. If you are elderly, you will be given a place to sit, and if you are a child, you will be protected, even escorted home, if you are a woman, you will be taken care of. Someone will carry your luggage for you. If you are a pregnant woman, Mother Earth and its 7 sisters will bend over backwards for you.

6. Basically, i miss the genuine warmth, the social vigil (that was in some ways stangulating) and the sharing of delicacies when made in one house.

7. If you came home and your mother was not at home, you just rang the neighbor's bell and sat there and ate and were monitored until mater returns. if mater had to go somewhere, all she had to do was to inform the neighbor and a play date was arranged. No one needed to "ask" if you will babysit and no one needed a 24 hour maid. The kids got exposed to various kinds of houses, and stuck together through it all.

Panchabhoota (Five Elements)

I was Born
To the WATER
of my Soul
- Ever Flowing
and ever strong

To the smell of wet EARTH
after the rains.

To the SKY
that's too far away
to make the distinction between
exists or does not exist.

To the BREATH
that smells of someone else.

To the FIRE
of my heart.

www.expedia.co.in - MUST AVOID

The thing is, when you are in the travel business, and you make a mistake, you dont just make a mistake, you ruin someone's holiday, and they may have been looking forward to it for months, or even years.

I havent been to the Golden Temple in years. Its a dream to go back and experience the peace of 4 am in Golden Temple like the last time. So finally, one zeroed in on a weekend in July, and got the tickets booked.

The hotel was booked through www.expedia.co.in.

Here is the whole story:
Day 1:
Reservation made online. If you book online, there is a time when they say "checking availability, please wait". So one assumes that the rooms are booked. The full payment is taken in advance.

Day 2: 1700 hours:
To be sure , i call up the hotel to confirm that they have got the booking from expedia.co.in. They say no, and sorry, we are sold out. No place at all. Then i call expedia.co.in and ask them why the booking has not yet reached the hotel. The lady, Gayatri, puts me on hold for 10 minutes and then tells me, sorry the hotel is sold out. I cannot do anything. I can give you a full refund if you want. I do not want a refund. The full refund i will get even if i cancel online. No meherbani there.
I asked for alternative accomodation. She says, sorry , we cannot process that. We will have to get to another department that deals with cases like that.
Me: Ok, so talk to them and get back to me.
Gayatri: Sorry, i cannot do that. I cannot call them if u drop the call, and i cannot call you back or email you.
So, i am put on hold for 15 whole minutes after which i drop off.

Day 2, 2330 hours:
I call again, only to be put through to the lodging team again. This time, the hold time is about 5 minutes. The lady tells me that she has to speak to the original hotel personally before booking me in an alternative place. I tell her that someone from their company has spoken to the hotel and indicated that there is no place, which is the reason why i m making this call in the first place. She says "i understand, but this is policy."

Hold time: 15 minutes while she tries to talk to the hotel (Best Western Merrien)
After that, she unholds me and tells us that she is not able to get to the hotel but she will go ahead and process my alternative accomodation anyway. She recommends another comparable hotel and i say ok. She puts me on hold - 20 minutes this time, and then tells me (You have to hear this to believe it) "Oh, i finally understand why i am not able to get through to anyone in India. Because of the time difference - it is night in India now, and all the reservation desks are closed." - This, from someone who works in an international operation across time zones.

I am promised that tomorrow morning, by 10, someone will make an alternative booking for me and call me back. Great.

Day 3: 1040 hours: No call yet.
I call them, and the agent - Gagan Kalia this time, gives me another runaround and another round of holding while he talks to the lodging team. I ask him whether the agent from last night has left an instruction that i should be booked into another hotel first thing tomorrow morning. He says NO, we do not have an instruction like that, nor do we have an instruction to call u by 10, and anyway we cannot make outbound calls.
I leave instructions with Gagan on the order of preference of hotels and will he please email me within the next 2 hours with the new accomodation details? He says, for sure mam.

Day 3: 1700 hours: No Call or email yet.
Predictably, i call again.. and this time, i am told the same thing "I have to contact the Lodging Dept to authorise this alternative accomodation. May I please put your call on hold while i connect to them? It will only take 2-3 minutes."
Actual Hold time: 15 minutes.
Result of Hold time: This case has been assigned to another person who is finding from the hotel why they cannot give reservation. I will advise you to wait for at least 24 hours because he sits in the US. (Like i care!)
Me: Can you please at least process a full refund?
Asif Ahmad: Not without authorisation from this person mam.
Me: How come Gayatri said she can do a full refund right now?
Asif Ahmad: I dont know mam.
Me: Asif, its on your website. Cancel 4 days in advance and get full refund. Where does approval come in?
Asif Ahmad: Can i place you on hold while i check whether i can get u a refund right now?
Hold time : 15 minutes.
Result of hold time: We are processing your entire refund, and it will take 7-10 business days (thats half a month in calendar time)
Me: Why will it take so long?
Asif Ahmad: Thats the SOP mam.

Why am i taking these names? Because this stellar performance should come up when someone is googling them for employment. If you want employees who are good at giving customers the runaround, i would highly recommend all employees of expedia, and personally recommend these 3. In a cheating and fraud business, these guys will be right at home.

Ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

Constantine P. Cavafy (1911)
- One of the beacons of my life.. and among the few long poems that i truly love.