The Right, Ability, and Responsibility of an Opinion

 मत देने से पहले सुनिश्चित कर लेना चाहिए 

मत का अधिकार। 

सभा में बोलने से पहले, सभासद होने की योग्यता ज़रूरी है। 

अंतर है 

मत के अधिकार 

और मत की क्षमता में भी। 

और मत की क्षमता, मत देने का 

उत्तरदायित्व नहीं है। 

This is not really a poem. It tries to explain 3 concepts that I have been thinking of a lot. 

Since the advent of social media, we live in an opinion epidemic. One would expect reasonably intelligent people to know when to speak up, and when to shut up. But apparently, social media performed some sort of invisible brain surgery and took common sense away. Overnight, we all lost our ears and were blessed with a thousand tongues, that could wag at the same time. We were experts at whatever was happening anywhere. From Palestine to America, from Military affairs to public health, we were specialists at everything. What is even more appalling is that opinions are expressed, not from a place of humility (I may not know much, but I feel~) but from a place of blatant entitlement. The 

The right to have and express an opinion

 Before you speak at the table, you must have a seat at the table. 

Do you have a locus standi? Are you a stakeholder in the issue? 

If not, you may have an opinion, but seriously, it has no weight.

The ability to have an opinion 

I am a Sikh. That gives me a seat at the table for issues related to the social ills we see within Sikhism. But my exposure to them is so limited that I have neither anecdotal nor scholarly inputs to offer. There is the right, but not the ability to offer an opinion. 

The responsibility of an opinion 

And this brings me to the wise old owl. The more he saw, the less he spoke. The right and ability to have an opinion - does it place upon our shoulders the responsibility to have an opinion? What do you think? 

My experience has been that in almost every sphere, the truly aware do not speak as often, or as much. What has been your experience? 

Gardening

 मैंने देखा है 

कि बागीचे के पौधों को 

वसंत और वर्षा में 

देखभाल की 

कोई जरूरत नहीं होती 

खुद ही उगते और पनपते हैं 

जैसे 

मौसम, खाद, कीट, सर्दी, गर्मी जैसी 

छोटी छोटी बातों का 

मोल ही क्या है? 

ग्रीष्म और शिशिर में 

देनी पड़ती है 

छाँव, गर्माहट 

मन का भी 

कुछ ऐसा ही है। 

***** 

Not so perfect English Translation: 

************ 

I have seen 

that the plants in the garden 

need nothing

during spring

and monsoon

They sprout and grow

as if on their own 

oblivious to 

small things like 

manure, weather, pests, or other silly things. 

Come summer or winter, however, 

and the very survival 

needs shade

and warmth. 

I think 

the human heart 

is a little like that too. 

*********************** 

कतरनें - तुला

 कृष्ण के प्रति राधा का प्रेम, कृष्ण के प्रति मीरा का प्रेम - इनकी उपमा दी जाती है। 

कृष्ण का राधा के प्रति प्रेम, कृष्ण का मीरा के प्रति प्रेम - इनकी उपमा नहीं दी जाती। 

प्रेम में और तुला में, यही अंतर है। प्रेम में संतुलन नहीं होता। 

Poem on Hindi Divas हिन्दी दिवस पर कविता

हिन्द की भाषा हिन्दी
हम सब की माता हिन्दी

संस्कृत की बेटी
ज्ञान की पेटी

रंग  से भरी 
बचपन की परी

गर्मी में बनती बयार
जाड़े में कुनकुनी ज्वाल

मिट्टी की सौंधी सुगंध
लोरी माँ के आँचल संग

ऐसी मुझको लगती हिन्दी
मेरी अपनी, प्यारी हिन्दी

Note: This poem was written for my son's class assignment on Hindi Diwas. If reusing, pls give credit. Thank you!  

Today's original quote

In our films, the quality of production has gone up, the quality of direction has plummeted.

To watch a Bimal Da film, or any of the international classics, shows us what is missing in our cinema today - the heart and soul of story telling. 

Corporatisation has its benefits. Soulful cinema is not one of them. 

I don't meant the socialist cinema of NSD alumni. I mean directors who really had an individuality, a voice, a thing that they wanted to say in a certain way, and the standards that they held themselves to. 

I miss that. Truly. 

********************* 

On reducing privacy and no one being appalled by it: 

Why are we humans in a race to become goldfish in a glass bowl? 

*************** 

Circles

वृत्तांत
में होता है
आदि
मध्य
और अंत.

वृत्त में
सम्पूर्णता।

Translation: 
Stories have a beginning, middle and end.
But in a circle, there is no such distinction.
Circles are complete unto themselves. That which is the start might well be the middle, or even the end.

The idea is from the Indian philosophy of Advait - non-duality. So long as we view time as a linear concept and see a duality between us and the world, there will be a concept of a beginning and an end. But the minute we view the entire cosmos as a unified whole, we understand that like a circle, it is complete and forever. There is no beginning, no end, no pain, no attachment, nothing except a feeling of wholeness and perfection. 

The wordplay is on the word for narration (vritaant) and circle (vrit) in Hindi.

Sambhaav/ समभाव

पहले बुद्धि
फिर अनुभूति
फिर समरसता
फिर आनंद
फिर प्रेम

इस से आगे का रास्ता
अभी नहीं देखा.

प्रेम से ऊपर
केवल दीप्ति
न स्रोत का ज्ञान
न गंतव्य की आवश्यकता
केवल
परिपूर्णता।

कतरनें: विश्वास

तुमने मुझ पर हमेशा शक किया। कभी विश्वास नहीं किया मुझ पर।

क्या तुम विश्वास के योग्य थे? 

नहीं, पर तुम ये बात नजरंदाज भी तो कर सकती थीं । रिश्ते में, विश्वास का छलावा भी तो हो सकता है।

How to deal with an abuser without feeling fear or negativity?

How to deal with an abuser without feeling fear or negativity?

This was the question I was dealing with in the morning meditation. Here is the answer:

You deal with an abuser the same way that we deal with Ravana – through a Lakshman Rekha. On either side of the line, the exchange can be quite cordial. It only becomes negative when the abuser tries to cross the line into your domain, or forces you to cross your comfort zone and make yourself vulnerable to his/her abuse.

Image from the internet. Credits not mentioned. 

Suppose someone is emotionally unavailable but makes demands on your time as and when they need it. Now, you draw a Lakshman Rekha that eliminates expectations from them. Their emotional availability is no longer needed. Can you still give them love? The same way that you would pet a tree in your house – with love, but without obligation. The exchange is no longer negative or worrisome to you. They are, of course, free to accept or reject your love when presented this way. The beauty of universal love is that it is completely transferable. 

Now, suppose, there is an instance where they are emotionally available. You have created a data point that has their availability (let’s say, a family function, or a lunch with your colleagues). The next time this situation presents itself, you expect them to be there, because the data point says so. And that is what separates the abuser from the normal human being. The abuser refuses to be there, just because you expect them to be and they have the power to refuse. Their reward is your squirming or pain. That is how abuse functions. How do you protect yourself? By remembering the line. Visualise them, not as intimate partner or family member, but as the tree in the yard that deserves a hug, but cannot expect or enforce it. The important metric in the situation is your positivity. If you feel resentment or feel like an empty bucket pouring to meet someone else’s expectation, stop. You cannot stroke a tree without feeling love for it.  

Now, lets take the case of an abuser who is always guilt-tripping or criticising. You create a Lakshman Rekha where their opinion is outside the line. It no longer matters. Your external validation comes from people who are fair and objective. They praise and criticise in equal measure, but more importantly, based on their understanding and opinion of the world, not based on their power, love, or hate towards you.

Once again, a data point is created where you are praised once for something – it could be a dress, an event, a simple gesture. Next time you do that thing, you would rely on the data point. But the person guilt trips or criticises, not based on any objective idea, but out of sheer habit. How do you protect yourself? By remembering that their happiness comes from your pain and isolating the outlier data points.

Next, an abuser who is, unfortunately, physically or sexually abusive. In this case, the line needs to be drawn thick and clear. There is no excuse, no adequate provocation, for physical or sexual abuse. Draw that line and remember Sita every time you are tempted to cross it.