Question - Answer

There is someone who hurts me and other people - intentionally, and all the time. 

I feel vindictive. I want to stop their toxic behaviour. What should I do? 

Answer: 

If they are only inflicting pain on everyone around them, imagine how much torment there must be in their own soul? Even sadists who actually feel happy after torturing others, depend on that torture to feel happy. For a very basic emotion - happiness, they have to depend on others! 

Let me give you another example. A dog that is biting anyone that approaches it, is itself in pain. A dog at peace will not bite. It will take food, reproduce, and sleep. 

So, if someone is biting everyone's head off, hurting other people, they are not at peace at all. No greater torment can be wished upon them than they are already suffering. 

What is the only way to make a biting dog stop biting? 

It is to stop its pain. When the pain is over, then it will see that all it needs to be happy is food, water, sleep, reproduction. It is the same with sadistic, toxic people. The only way to stop the hurt that they are causing others is to wish that their own hurting stops. Only then can they realise how useless hurting others is. 

Let me give you one more example. We might think that a terminally ill patient would be very grateful to their caretakers - because those people are letting go of their healthy lives just to provide care and pain relief. Usually, work like that takes a lot of love. But what really happens is that the person being cared for is usually irritable, grumpy, and all round pain to be with. Why? Are they not aware of the sacrifice of the caregiver? Of course they are! But they are in pain 24*7! That pain makes them detest the whole world and their own lives. It all comes out on the caregiver, who is closest at hand. 

What is the way to end this abuse? It is for the patient to be pain free. That is the only way. No amount of explanation or realisation will change the behaviour of the patient while they are in constant pain. You might reduce caregiving to "teach them a lesson." What effect will that have? The exact opposite, no?