Wednesday, October 20, 2021

One more sexist joke, and my repartee

 पत्नी औ घड़ी के बीच का संबंध :....

 - समानताएं :

1. घड़ी चौबीस घंटे टिक-टिक करती रहती है !! और पत्नी चौबीस घंटे किट-किट करती रहती है !!

 2. घड़ी की सूइयाँ घूम-फिर कर वहीं आ जाती हैं !! उसी प्रकार पत्नी को आप कितना भी समझा लो, वो घूम-

फिर कर वहीं आ जायेगी और अपनी ही बात मनवायेगी !!

 3. घड़ी बिगड़ जाये तो मैकेनिक के यहाँ जाती है !! पत्नी बिगड़ जाये तो मैके जाती है !!

 4. घड़ी को चार्ज करने के लिये सेल (बैटरी) का प्रयोग होता है !! और पत्नी को चार्ज करने के लिये सैलेरी का प्रयोग होता है !!

 

- विषमतायें :

1. घड़ी में जब १२ बजते हैं तो तीनों सूइयाँ एक दिखाई देती हैं !! लेकिन पत्नी के जब १२ बजतेे

  तो एक पत्नी भी ३-३ दिखाई देती है !!

 2. घड़ी के अलार्म बजने का फिक्स टाइम है !! लेकिन पत्नी के अलार्म बजने का कोई फिक्स टाइम नहीं है !

 3.घड़ी बिगड़ जाये तो रूक जाती है !! लेकिन जब पत्नी बिगड़ जाये तो शुरू हो जाती है !!

4. सबसे बड़ा अंतर ये कि घड़ी को जब आपका दिल चाहे बदल सकते हैं !! मगर पत्नी को चाह कर भी बदल नहीं सकत

 

My Response: 

पति और गधे के बीच समानताएँ और विषमताएँ

  1. गधा समय समय पर धैचू- धैचू की पुकार लगता है और पति समय समय पर चाय चाय की।
  2. गधे से आप वज़न उठाने के अलावा कोई काम नहीं करवा सकते। वो भी तब जब उसकी इच्छा हो। पति का भी ऐसा ही है।
  3. गधे की टांगों को बांध कर न रखा जाए तो वे कहीं भी भाग निकलता है। पति का भी ऐसा ही है।
  4. गधे किसी के सगे नहीं होते। सालों उन्हें कोई खिलाए पिलाए, उनका ध्यान रखे, पहला मौका मिलते ही नकेल तोड़ कर भाग जाते हैं।
  5. गधा घास चरता है, और पति दिमाग।
  6. गधा दुलत्ती मारते हुए बिल्कुल नहीं सोचता कि चोट किसे लगेगी, कितनी गहरी लगेगी। पति भी मुंह खोलते हुए ऐसा कुछ नहीं सोचते।
  7. सारी दुनिया को पता है कि गधा अव्वल दर्जे का आलसी, बेवकूफ, नीरस, और बेसुरा प्राणी है। किन्तु गधे को इस प्रकार का कोई आत्माभास नहीं है। अपनी नजर में वह सचमुच दुनिया का सबसे सुंदर, सर्वश्रेष्ठ प्राणी है।
  8. गधे की नजर सदा नीची रहती है। उसके इरादों पर भी यही विशेषण लागू होता है। पति भी पत्नी के सामने भीगी बिल्ली बनने का अभिनय करते हैं, और उनके इरादे भी अपने समतुल्य प्राणी जितने ही नीच होते हैं।   

 

विषमताएँ

  1. इन दोनों प्राणियों में कोई विषमता नहीं पाई जाती। विधाता ने इन्हें एक ही साँचे में ढाल कर बनाया है।
But this is so painful, that people think it is ok to post stuff that is this insensitive and cruel. I hated writing this repartee. Its cruel and insensitive. But telling people to lay off sexist jokes makes one appear as a party pooper. Giving them a taste of their own medicine will hopefully help them understand exactly what they are bringing to the table. I have now asked the group to post fewer sexist jokes. If this person does not stop, i will have to write more obnoxious stuff. Gives me something to vent, for sure. But not the thoughts i want to have. 
This is, however, the best way to get rid of the anger that such petty content creates. 

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

Why does the development sector lie so much?

I have now been engaged with the development sector for more than 25 years. 

Yesterday, we found another overstated work that could not be verified. 

While complaining to a mentor, I said, 70% of the work in development sector is hogwash. 

He agreed. We both knew. 

But after the angst was over, i sat down to wonder why that is so. These millions of people who make it their life's work to change the lives of others -why do they overstate their impact? Why do they project that which we know, through experience, is not going to happen? 

Malafide motivation cannot be the answer, because development sector jobs don't pay that much. Even for large NGOs, getting honest grants on an ongoing basis is a real challenge. 

There is no easy answer. 

But the top 2-3 things that jump up are: 

A. The structure of the industry 

Everyone knows that human change is a slow and laborious job. Yet, funding agencies need to see numbers and impact within a finite time. If you want your mother to give up a habit (that is one person and one behaviour change), you do not know how long it will take. Yet, funding agencies want NGos to wave a magic wand and tell them that they will get 100x people to change 10x habits / beliefs / attitudes within  the next 2-3 years. 

B. The incorrect inherent assumption 

This is actually my realisation after 25 years in the sector. When we did गरीबी हटाओ, we assumed that that was an objective for everyone. That everyone wants to improve their lot by working hard and /or studying. If we just create the opportunities, those opportunities will be taken. 

Turns out, that is not true. People want to get rich, but not by working hard or studying hard. They want to get rich by getting doles that they can then sell at a profit and go back to being poor and underprivileged to get more doles. That is their personal revenue model. That is their chosen profession. 

Low income housing, MNREGA, PDS, and a host of other welfare measures, both state and private, have taught us that a small fraction of the population will indeed choose hard work or education as a means of upliftment. But that assumption cannot be applied to the entire population. 

Yet, 75 years and counting, neither the planners nor the funding agencies, nor the NGOs themselves, have started to factor in "beneficiary receptiveness" in their model. 

We created an employment model. The idea allowed a person to become financially self reliant. Out of over 100 people we presented the idea to, only TWO people wanted to try it out as a profession. 

In our other projects too, we have had a proportion of people who want to try it before not taking it up, and a much smaller population that then goes on to benefit from the opportunity. 

At first, we thought this was a case of poorly designed solutions. That if we created better solutions that actually do meet the need, that solution would be adopted by pull model and we won't have to push it. 

2 years and 2 research projects later, we learnt that we were wrong. It was not a case of a poorly designed solution. It was a case of poorly understood problem. We assumed that knowledge was an inherent need. It is not. People do not know because they do not want to know. This was a huge shock to us. 

But think of it from their perspective, and it makes perfect sense. 

We tend to think of life in terms of a single currency - money. Therefore, the more money we have, the better our lives will be. 

But they know instinctively that that is not true. Time, leisure, relationships, are all currencies. When we lift ourselves to a better financial position, we lose the social ties with our peer group. With our relatives. We have to fit into a new social circle which may or may not be as welcoming. When we devote time to hard work,  leisure is sacrificed. When we spend time in studying, we cannot use that time to earn, to help, to meet friends, to do other things that lead to more instant gratification. 

So, I end this day, not with complaint, but with understanding. 

Today's Thought in Head

In all relationships, the depth of the relationship is decided by the party that wants it shallower. If A and B are in a relationship, A wants it to be a deep, intimate relationship while B wants it to remain shallow, it will, per force, have to remain shallow or break off, because B will not make the personal investment needed to deepen the relationship. A can then choose to sustain the relationship at that shallow level or break off. 

In families, romantic relationships, and even business relationships, this is true. 

The thing with this is, that only one person makes the decision to keep a relationship shallow, but both parties pay the price. Most long term relationships are like good eggs, they must either hatch (mature into something deeper) or go bad (break off). 

Over a long enough period, keeping a relationship shallow hurts both parties because there is, nonetheless, a human need for a deep connection. This is more pronounced in romantic relationships, because we are only allowed one romantic partner at a time. But even among siblings or with parents, there is an inherent need to have a deep relationship. If that need is frustrated by the current relationship, one must look elsewhere (but there is only one sibling/ parent!) or live with the feeling of lack of fulfillment. 

It is this lack of fulfillment, this constant feeling that we are living sub optimal lives, that fills us with an inexplicable void. Its inexplicable because we don't understand that we are living at a layer that is not in sync with our needs. 

How, then, does one deal with this? If so few people want to invest in deep relationships, whether at home (even parenting has become checklist based and transactional), or in friendships, then how does one find the deep connection that one seeks? 

A simple, but not so practical solution is to not be the person who holds up the depth in a relationship. You may not realise it right now, but you are going to need that depth. One day, you will be fifty, and friendless. Think of this as investing in a pension fund. You don't see the returns until you retire. Then, you get them when you need them the most. 

I have also found it to be true in the work sphere. Long term work relationships based on mutual respect. Long term vendor relationships mean that our cost of procurement goes down. Long term client relationships mean that our cost of selling is low, and we can give the client a better deal. 

In fact, Indian businesses typically demonstrate very long term employment and vendor-client relationships. 



Monday, October 18, 2021

Pashu Prem / पशु प्रेम

 गरीब लोग 

नहीं करते 

पशुओं से प्रेम 

वे कुत्तों से 

बचाते हैं 

अपने बच्चों को 

बंदरों से बचाते हैं 

अपने घरों को। 


अमीर

बसाते हैं 

पार्कों में कुत्ते

क्यूंकि 

उनका भी तो अधिकार है 

इस धरती पर 

उन पार्कों में 

जहां खेलने जाते थे 

गरीबों के बच्चे। 


अमीरों से पूंछ हिलाना 

और गरीबों पर गुर्राना 

कुत्ते भली भांति जानते हैं 

पार्क में आना 

छोड़ देते हैं 

गरीबों के बच्चे। 


This poem is based on a real situation. A community park near our house is taken over by stray dogs. So the slum children living near that park can no longer use even parts of the park to play. This pushes the children into unsafe playing areas. 

The people who feed these dogs in public areas claim that the dogs are sterilised but we see a litter periodically. They also do not adopt these dogs, but leave them in a public area which then becomes inaccessible to the rest of the community. There is blind authority with no accountability or responsibility. 

Sunday, October 17, 2021

On sexist jokes

कभी कभी मेरे दिल में ख्याल आता है, 

कभी कभी मेरे दिल में, ख्याल आता है 

कि अपने पिता से घृणा करने के बाद, 

हर पुरुष 

अपनी पत्नी को, 

ठीक वही दुख क्यूँ दिए जाता है? 

***** 

Well, if you call out a sexist joke, you are told to "take it light". 

So, I followed that advice and took it light. Here is my light hearted response to some of these sexist jokes. This is only one day's work. My creativity is on a roll! 



My updated meme: 



Joke on a group: 

My response: 



And the lines you read above are also in response to another sexist joke. 



How does one engage with the world?

 I really do try to engage with the world. But it feels like salt in a coffee cup.

Today, it was a post that supported a market that is based on encroachment. Friends who will support eco friendly wood shavings board on Facebook but ask for teak and sal for their own homes. Teak and Sal only grows on the mountains. The same friends will also go to the mountains and complain about deforestation.

They complain about poaching but buy hide purses from outside India.
The poacher's poverty is not poverty, but the encroacher's poverty is poverty.

They will post sexist jokes but will be offended if someone calls this out. OR, worse still (I do this) if someone makes reverse memes, they will be suitably offended.

What does one do with such mind-numbing hypocrisy? How does one engage with such a world?

I am a deep sea fish, i cannot live on the surface. It gets too hot and too cold too soon. It depends on the winds too much. It is affected by the current tide and gets muddy with a little rain. Deep down there, we have to trust each other. We have only each other. No tides come to change the mood. No winds and rains muddy the waters. The heat and cold is ours, and for a long time. We know there is noplace else to go. Just us. Just this. We are creatures of the long term.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Dear Friends: Please do not read daily updates on Aryan Khan. The person is in jail and the due process of the law is being followed. please do not allow our media to add anguish to valid concern. his parents do not become less of a parent just because they have money. He does not become a lesser human being because he was remanded. Every human being deserves dignity. If you do not read, the media will not publish. Please do not write about Aryan Khan surviving on glucose biscuits or breaking down in a video call. Even he deserves the same dignity as the other accused. 

Thursday, October 07, 2021

You know exactly who this is

Just because he did not pull the trigger, does not mean he was not the killer. 

Just because he did not touch the money, does not mean he was not the one who held to ransom. He collected the ransom, all right. Then gave it to someone else. 




Monday, September 27, 2021

Understanding Colonisation

Chach Nama is the record of the first (?) Arab invasion of Sindh - 710 AD. 

I read this book with great interest and for a very personal reason. The book is written by the Arab chronicler, who was in the employ of Mohd. Bin Kasim. 

After reading the really long account of the victory of the Arabs against the mighty King Dahar, i shook my head in disbelief. Raja Dahar was so powerful that not only was he the Lord and Master of all he surveyed, he ruled all the way from Kashmir in the North to Makran in the West, Rajputana in the South - East. It was a massive kingdom that included all of the 5 rivers we proudly call Punj-ab. 

The land was fertile and wealthy. The military and technical prowess was great and at the start of the book, though it is written by the victor, the record of the Indian king is such that one believes that it is not possible for the Arabs to defeat this much power. Yet, a few months later, the mighty Raja Dahir is dead. Not just that, the dynasty is not even mentioned anywhere in Indian history. Sindh was a mighty land to the West of Hind, but it took an expert historian friend to recommend this book. Its not in the public discourse at all! (1)

So, how did the mighty Raja Dahir fall? 

The reason i put that book away in pure shock was the parallels. 

It was not just Raja Dahir who fell. No Hindu king could, subsequently, rule over those parts of India for at least a few centuries after that. 

The exact same thing happened to Kashmir. Once lost, it was never regained. 

The elements of colonisation 

The Islamic invasion and subsequent control of large parts of India and the world, was, in my view, the first wave of colonisation in recorded history. I call it the first wave of colonisation because: 
A. It was not localised. Large parts of the known world were systematically taken over. 
B. The power was political. 
C. The power was vested in people who were not the same as the people being ruled. In other words, the welfare of the ruled was not the primary concern of the ruling. OR, there was no self-rule.  


The subsequent colonisation 

There was a second colonisation. We know this one to be the main colonial movement. This one was led by trading companies originating in Europe. Almost as a pattern, trade relations or missionary movements were converted to political power. Once again, the 3 elements of colonisation make their appearance: 
A. Global 
B. Political Power 
C. The agenda of the rulers was not the welfare of the ruled. OR, there was no self-rule. 

So, this post has two parts. In the first part, I will try to present the common themes that emerge in the victory of the colonisers. 

The second part will compare the elements of the first two waves of colonisation with the third colonisation wave, that, I truly believe, is almost upon us. 

Why did the colonisers succeed? 

A. The Surprise Element 
In my study of riots, colonisation, and other forms of organised, group violence, information asymmetry is perhaps the MOST important element. It is this information asymmetry that leaves one side completely unprepared. 

In the times of Islamic colonisation, no one expected people to combine religion and political power. In the employ of Raja Dahir and indeed, every Hindu Raja in the subcontinent even in the modern ages, the armies were secular, the selection was based on merit and capability, and mercenaries were a recognised branch of fighters. 
Not in the Islamic colonisation. All the soldiers were Muslims. The glue holding them together was religion. Their motivation was religious conversion of the vanquished. No one expected this. No one expected large armies to seek and win political power on the basis of religion. Political battles were region to region. Sindh fought with Makran, Markan fought with Pashtoons, Sindh also fought with Rajputana, Rajputana fought with plateau kings and Central Indian kings, and so on. It was regional. Not religious. So, Raja Dahir prepared himself to fight the Afghani/ Arab army. Not a religious army. 

Likewise, in the 1600s , no one thought traders could ever want political power. They were profiteering idiots who would create their own facilities, warehouses, hold a small force to protect their wares, and pay taxes to make us rich. What will they do with power? That was the surprise element of the second colonisation. 

The surprise element of the third colonisation is that we view political power in terms of physical countries and their leadership. No one envisages countries that are virtual. No one imagines that political power is, at the end of the day, control over the minds of people, making them behave in a way that the ruler wants them to behave. This can be achieved by being the entity that makes laws. It can also be achieved by being the entity that decides WHO will make the laws, until we make laws ourselves (remember British India and their advisors to Indian rajahs) 

 B. Only one side had a strategy 
This is a corollary to the first cause. Because only one side knew that it was doing something for a very long-term impact, only one side had a strategy. The other side, after realising that it was being had (in case of Raja Dahir, after losing some key battles before the main battle in which he lost his life. In case of Native India, the rulers coming together to try to stop some of the powers of the trading companies. In case of China, countries trying to create some local manufacturing capability after realising that it cannot survive without China). 

C. A belief in invincibility and resulting complacence 
In all three cases, the existing political leadership displays a marked complacence that almost borders on insolence. 

D. An important missing piece 
In the Islamic colonisation, it was lack of unity. In the British colonisation, it was lack of latest warfare technology. In the most recent one, it is the lack of manufacturing capability and lack of new age citizen engagement features. There is usually an important missing piece - a vulnerability that the coloniser exploits. The vulnerability may not be important in itself, but when exploited by a coloniser, proves to be the Achilles' heel. 

So, what are we saying? 

What we are saying is very simple. We are looking at a third colonisation. It will come from China OR Big Tech. They are both ripe colonisers waiting to pounce. Or perhaps, both. The Dutch and the French and the British all ruled at the same time. The Turks and the Arabs and the Afghans, all ruled, though under the same major umbrella. In this case, one will rule on the premise of mind control thru tech, and the other will rule because they have created enough global infra now to pounce and seize. 

End of Post 
**************************** 

(1)One reason could be that for some reason, Burma, Sindh, Punjab, and Afghanistan have been completely left out of India's history, as if they were never a part of a single political entity. Nothing is further from the truth. Burma was an integral part of India and formed our Eastern border. A lot of the talent for the Hindi film industry actually came from Burma.  People travelled to and from Burma - Bengal - Assam rather effortlessly. Sindh, of course, was part of India all the way till 1947. 

For Afghanistan: 

https://www.sidmartinbio.org/when-was-afghanistan-separated-from-india/.