When you recover from a viral fever, you have lingering weakness even after the fever is gone. For a while, you are just weak. There is nothing visibly wrong with you, and yet you give yourself time. To heal.
It is the same with mental health. Whether you are coming out of depression, melancholia, or just plain sadness. Just like the viral, there is a period when you feel ready, but aren't. That is the period of imperceptible weakness.
I am going through this now. My diagnosis is complex PTSD. After 2.5 months, I am finally able to eat, sleep, and do basic things like that. But if I don't get to the therapist once a week, it all comes gushing back. The worst thing is, I cannot cry. Not even now. So, it has to be talking, breathing, writing.
This week, I won't be able to get to therapy because of something at home. And I told my therapist, "This general sense of wellness can make me feel braver than I should."
So, this week, I intend to not be very brave.
Do the walk, exercise, and journaling.
And then, we will see what we will see.
PS: The blog has not had personal mental health posts before, but what the hell, I am the only one reading. Why not? If not this, what. if not now, when. :)
4 comments:
A couple of my close family members had/have PTSD, so I am familiar with it. Please do take things easy, be gentle with yourself, and keep on seeing your therapist. You are doing the right things! I hope it all works to ease your pain.
Thank you!! :) This means much.
Having walked this path myself, I know how hard it is. Be gentle with yourself. Healing isn't a straight path but every step shows your strength. Bravo for doing the work.
Thank you! Sad that i got to the hard work after reaching the precipice, but the journey is definitely promising. :)
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