In the last 3 days, I happened to watch 3 films

Angrej is the story of a young person who dearly loves a girl, but the girl has a fickle mind and responds to the attention of another person who is wealthier. Heartbroken, he tries to forget her and fails, until love finds him as another person. He realises very late in the movie that this new girl, who accepts him for who he is, is the right person for him. 

The Wife was a little hard to watch, as the film starts with a Nobel literature Award winner proclaiming that his wife is the love of his life, and slowly, the insidious emotional manipulation of a narcissist unfolds layer by layer, and the shocking realisation that she basically discovers the extent to which she has been looted. 

Autumn in New York, like The Idea of You, is an intergenerational love story with the added masala of the young person dying. Richard Gere makes it all worthwhile. Surprisingly, in both films, it was the older actor who carried the day. Perhaps, like wine, all craft needs time to mature. 

There are many, many thoughts in the head. 

First, all popular cinema seems to perpetuate the idea of womanising being the default for a man, and seeking loyalty and monogamy being the default of the woman. Why? What if it were not true? What about the men who want to honour their commitments (like the guy in Angrej) and the women who do not want commitment? Why are those voices not in popular or any cinema? Why does a woman become a slut as soon as she refuses to seek and offer commitment? If men are so unwilling to commit, and a woman says, ok, sure, lets just enjoy what we have in the here and now, suddenly, there is no love story to tell? That is SO FAR removed from the reality of our times. Likewise, why are all the heroes semmi bad boys? Give us the silent guy who stands rock solid behind a woman. Show us the quiet friend who has our back no matter what and doesn't tell us he loves us for fear of losing us? 

Second, inter-generational romance. I just can't find it fair - esp for the younger person, who must have milestones to meet in life. A 20-something year old cannot be expected to never become a parent because their forever love has already crossed that stage of life. It is romantic, but my probably conservative head does not find it fair in the long term. Having said that, both the films - the Idea of You and Autumn in New York were very realistic about the challenges, void, and the potential conflics - The Idea of You more than Autumn in New York. BUT, the idea that two people who are many decades apart can still be beautifully compatible with each other is something I have observed irl around me, and have started to believe in. 

 These are not really film reviews, but a perspective on how popular art can guide the cultural, romantic norms of its time. The Punjabi film shows the man as someone committed and the woman as someone fickle-minded, and it doesnt appear to be out of place. I LOVED the film.