Monday, November 28, 2016

For you, Y

You and I, we will spend the rest of our lives burning in hell. We made our choices. Some choices were made for us. But now we have to live out the results of those choices. We chose to be true to the heart's desire. That is difficult for the lightest things. But for what our hearts desire, it is well nigh insane.

And so, my dear, we will spend our lives burning in hells of desires that cannot be fulfilled. This birth is not ours to know happiness. In this birth, we can only know pain. Endless, piercing pain. Perhaps it is our retribution for some acts of the past. But its our only reality now. For the rest of our lives. And we must make our peace with that idea.

So don't ask me what you should do. Because we cannot do it. We cannot undo it either - the cause of the pain.

When night falls, and all the masks fall off, one by one, as we prepare for bed, you and I will become aware, every single night, of a singular fact. That we are very grateful for everything we have. We are very, very privileged and we have enough to count our blessings by. But we are not happy. And we cannot hide behind gratitude to run away from that. Gratitude is not happiness. Meditation is not an antidote to this pain. And anti depressants cannot convert a lie into a truth. 

1 comment:

Maddening Silences said...

It's like reading my soul put into words...the grief... the longing...the pain...the undoing of ourselves is all within...yet we search for answers outside..

You are so right... it's our own personal choice of hell to burn...