Friday, November 04, 2011

On Female Foeticide

There are 2 ways to kill a girl. The first is to kill her in the womb, or right after birth. That is the gentle way. The other is to kill her, breath by breath, step by step, for the rest of her life.

“Don’t wear this.”

“Go inside, there are boys here.”

“Girls should not be playing physical sports, run away.”

“Don’t answer back.”

“Who will marry you if you cant even cook?”

“No matter how much you study, eventually you have to cook!”

“The woman of the house must not work outside.”

“I am the husband, and you will do as I say.”

By deciding, even, how deep a breath she can take. There are, after all breasts to be considered.

The illiterate kill their girls the first way. The rich, the literate and others use the second. Only a girl who has lived like this for 16-17 years, can understand the benefits of dying at birth.


BK Chowla, said...

I is unfortunate and true, but,it also is a fact that situation is changing. Girls are getting agressive and wise too.

Ratzzz said...

totally agree!!

Such ppl are Slow poisoning girl's lives... :(

CY|\|O$|_|RE said...

completely agreed...Unfortunately, it will take a lot of time to situation to come under control. Hope the improvement that has been made over past decade continues, no matter its slow but obviously its steady. We can't hope situation to improve abruptly...we just only have to wait... :-|

~G said...

Wow! Glad that I wasn't killed either way. Except for "Don't answer back" which I think I deserved for being nasty.
That tells me my parents are neither rich nor poor, they are just wonderful people!

Richa said...

one or other things of these, happen at every household.

Anonymous said...

All of this has happenend in the not so distant past. Nowadays most parents I know want a girl baby and it is very rare to see parents of girls parenting their daughters this way today.

Also, parents of boys are equally worried about their sons finding a nice girl, unlike the past were it was only the parents of girls who were worried.

Things are changing - I think we are very close to gender eqaulity. I think the issues are more related to how do we split our tasks in running a family when there is no clear distinction between what men and women can/should do. How do we raise our sons and daughters to live a balanced life in a gender equal society.

I myself have no clear answers, we only have learn with time.

I come from a family of two girls and have experienced some of what you have described. Now I am a mother of a son and a daughter and I want the best for both of them. I am worried that the gender inequality is going to swing the other way....and this is from hearing some unbelievable stories of parents trying to find a bride for their sons :)

How do we know said...

Chowla sir: About time, no?

Hi Ratzz: yes, they are.

Hi Cynosure: am waiting :-)

Hi G: you bet they are! as are mine!

Hi Anonymous: Define a "nice" girl for me pls.. and do read Indian homemaker's blog. u mite like it :-)

How do we know said...

Hi Anonymous: i came back because well, that response was very short and one wanted to say a lot more! Yes, there IS an improvement in gender equality, but there is just sooo much more that needs to be done.. i keep wondering what drives us to a more and more skewed gender ratio every time there is a count... what people cannot do overtly, they do using passive aggression... ohh... far too many questions, and no answers at all, so one does the easiest thing - one day at a time, one girl at a time , starting from home...

AND.. i LOVED ur comment!

Onkar said...

Very poignant piece.

Himanshu Tandon said...

I do not disagree with you but then you are being one sided if you think that the boys in the house don't go through the same deal.

Don't you think guys get to hear the same things...

1. Don't wear this
2. Don't answer back
3. Who will marry you if you can't find a job that pays you a lot (irrespective of the job that you would love to have)?
4. The man of the house must not be sitting inside all the time
5. Since you are a guy, you would be the one considered smoking and not your sister, if your mom finds a packet (same goes for other teenage vices)

I guess at times the pressure on boys to do well is far more. I have heard mothers say "yeh ladki kal apne ghar chali jaayegi, tu (to the boy) padega nahi toh hamaara kyaa hoga?" I have hated the concept of 'ladki ka apna ghar' but thats the subject of another discussion.

For now, I guess, its more like realizing that perhaps teens and young adults perhaps go through the same things and same 'killing bolts' the intensity or the frequency varies maybe.