Monday, February 26, 2007

Brilliant Parallel!!

Got this from a friend, and have been dying to share it since then!

OLD VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Opposition MP's stage a walkout.Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.
Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational
Insititutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden' Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in silicon valley.100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India ...

As a result of losing lot of hard working ants and feeding the grasshoppers India is still a developing country......

12 comments:

Vasu said...

Nice one!

Blackcougar said...

Brilliant !! Dont like being the Ant though !!

Annddd .. haapy belated birthday :)

runliarun said...

Cute. In old times life was so much simpler...

Neihal said...

hahahaha!
even though I dont like the last line...it is partly true..but gross generalisation, I'd say.
Hillarious nonetheless :)

How do we know said...

HI Vasu: Thanks!

Hi Blackcougar: Thank you!! For the belated Happy Birthday!! Please tell me when I tol du my bday! This is a hajaar pleasant surprise!!

Re. being the ant, personally, I'd much rather be the ant than the grasshopper!

Hi runliarun:
Welcome to the blog! True.. it was simpler and there were fewer ppl dying of stres... i fail to understand why the more time saving devices we create, the more hardpressed we are for time.. maybe i will write a post about it some day :-)

hi Neihal: Hee hee!! Though i havent been on the blogs lately, have been thinking of you and Zoe a lot!

Neihal said...

am glad to read that :D
you were missed here:)
btw I posted a Gulzar poem on my blog. Think you ll like it. Have a look when you have time :)

MeMyself_n_I said...

excellent! really enjoyed the post.

mathew said...

yeah..i got the same fwd too...humourous yet sad !!!

The Phosgene Kid said...

We have grasshoppers here, they are called Democrats.

dharmabum said...

ah, a post after a long break, and what a wonderful piece of writing...

i especially liked the stagin gdharnas bit - celebrities think its cool these days to be tagged along with NGOs and stuff.

india, sadly has a long way to go, and it makes me feel terrible. i think we all need to get together and keep working at it - not in terms of forming societies & NGOs and all, but at our own individual, albeit small levels. and hope that the lil work we do, wil pay off someday, when our future generations would be able to live in a more beautiful india...

How do we know said...

hi Neihal: Went to your blog after ages and realised what an awful lot i have missed!! Liked the Gulzar poem a lot.. do post some more..

Hi memyself_n_i: First, I really like that name. And two, I loved reading this forward too!! Thanks! :-)

Hi Mathew: Welcome back out of hibernation!! And you're right - this is a humorous take on a really sad situation. You know the icing on the cake? Budgetary allocation increased for the Minorities Commission after the Sachar Committee report!!

Hi PG: :-) I know whos getting your vote in the presidential elections!

Hi Dharmabum: YOU SAID IT!!!!

Mampi said...

Yup, love this one.
Got it from many sources, but you immortalised it here,
hehehe