You want love? that scarring lil acid called love?? Really?

Good luck with that one. What we call love, they call obsession. What they call love, we call "taking us for granted" .

Hotel Heartbreak is such safe sanctuary.

वो हमेशा वहीँ दिखती थी। एक पत्थर पर बैठी हुइ. उस के पास की जगह, हमेशा खाली हुआ करती थी . और उस की आँखों में , हमेशा इंतज़ार .

फिर एक दिन, एक अजूबा हुआ .
उस के पास वाली जगह, खाली नहीं थी . वहां कोई बैठा हुआ था.

पर "उस" की जगह खाली थी .

और जो उस के साथ वाली जगह में बैठा था, उस की आँखों में इंतज़ार नहीं था. उस की आँखों में एक खला थी . उन आँखों की खला , जिन्हें अभी मालूम हुआ हो, कि उनके पैरों ने आने में बहुत देर कर दी .

all women this, all women that, all women what the hell!!!

When i was growing up, the Gurudwara had 2 parts - one for the men and one for the women. the men sat on one side and the women sat on the other. As a consequence, children could be seen happily flitting from father to mother - which meant from one side to the other of the whole big hall.

over the years, i have seen that segregation end, and have been very happy to see it end. Why should spirituality not be with your family? Why should partners not sit together ? so now, in most gurudwaras, families sit together.

However, the opposite seems to have happened in the rest of the world. Especially since December 16, and the ensuing paranoia about crimes against women. We SAY "dont teach me to cover up. Teach your boy to not rape" But what we DO is segregate women even more - separate autos only for women, separate this only for women, separate that only for women -to ensure their safety, of course. And now i hear the most hilarious of them all - a bank only for women.

What will this segregation do? It will take people further and further away from the mainstream of life. Women should not be segregated. They should be given a seat of respect in our own space. Dont treat a woman like a piece of soap in a water puddle. If you have noticed, immediately, the water separates, and the soap piece is pat in the middle, apparently pretty secure, but also pretty isolated. However, with some effort, the soap does mix with water, and nicely cleans up too.

Please do not segregate women any more, or create women only infrastructure. Because the next step after that is girls being forced to use this women only setup, which is not good for anyone. Slap every single eve teaser, every single child abuser. thats an awfully nice thing to do.

What do you think should be done in this case?

This really happened where we live. Do read on and tell me what you think would be the right thing to do in this case.

A's car cleaner took the car keys to clean the car. However, without informing A, he took the car to learn driving - within the apartment complex. He ended up banging a really expensive SUV parked in its own place. Both A's car and the SUV were severely damaged, though the car cleaner driving the car escaped completely unhurt (bcs the impact was on the other side - not the driver side).

What should be done in this case? The SUV owner wants damages.

So there, what do u think?

I, me aur Main: what an awesome movie!!

So, I me aur Main is a John Abraham film that came and went. no one noticed it and if it wasnt for the cute lead cast, i would have given it a miss too. And what a mistake that would have been!

Here is the story:
Ishaan is a young person who has been spoilt silly by his mother and consequently, also his elder sister. He lives in with his girlfriend, in her house, and she pays all the bills. Finally, it is commitment time and the dude is commitment phobic. so the gf dumps him. Simple. Easy. Final.

The dude finally picks up a flat to live in. At work, he has a boss who hates him for some reason, will not let him live or act independently. Though her provocation is not clear. So, at this flat that he has hired, he has a fiery neighbor with a devil may care attitude. predictably, he falls for her.

Now comes the twist. The ex realises that she is pregnant. But also that she does not want him. His sister informs him and the mother exhorts him to own up to his responsibility.

Again, predictably, towards the end of the film, when the ex is having her contractions, he is by her side. He is there at childbirth. After that, he decides to stay with her, out of responsibility. And the ex tells him - Our story is over. The child is much better off knowing that her parents are not together, but they are happy.

From there, they collaborate on childcare, but have partners whom they love.

This is by far the most mature, the most evolved treatment of a situation like this that i have seen  - what do u do when you have a child with someone, but have fallen out of love with them? You owe it to the child to be there for them, but you also owe it to yourself to be happy. You owe it to the child to show them what it is to be loved. but you also owe it to her to show her that its possible to be loved but not in the same house.

i loved, loved, loved this film.
 

What Geet says in Jab we Met:
ये जो वक़्त है न, जो हम गुज़ार रहे हैं , ये बहुत अच्छा वक़्त है. एक दिन हम इस वक़्त को याद करेंगे और मुस्कुरायेंगे .

What it means to me:

इस लिए आज इस वक़्त की कद्र करना सीखो. इस बात की, की तुम मुस्कुरा सकते हो. इस बात की, की तुम्हारी ज़िन्दगी की सब से बड़ी पशोपेश है की खाएं क्या.

on relationships

some relationships are like hybrid fruit - they look big and juicy and full of promise. but they are tasteless and soul less.

some relationships are like the kitchen garden yield. they look inconsequential, promise nothing, but oh! the nurturing that goes into each day of growth. and they feel like they are really yours.
 

Leading them to failure in a big glass shell

One day, we were playing tambola at home. The ones who won were jubilant, and the ones who lost.. some of them, the kids, were really sore losers. The biggest heart burner was Quick 5- typically the first prize to be won.

Suddenly, i laughed and said, "If we played tambola like we do grading at school, everyone would get a prize on their Jaldi 5".

A few days later, the gravity of that statement hit me.

The reason the children are sore losers, is not just that they are children. It is also this - Systematically, we, as a society are working to remove failures from their lives. The net result of that is that they also lose the chance to learn coping skills that are so crucial .

Life is made up of failures and successes. its a mix of both. Part of parenting and nurturing children is to teach them how to handle both - success with humility, and failure with resilience. Instead of teaching children coping skills for failure, we, as a society, are working to remove failures from their growing up years. Which is, in one word - STOOPID.

How long can we keep them in this mass glass shelf where there is no failure? where everyone gets a participation prize and no one fails because there are no exams? and when there are exams, we get grades and not marks, so there are no passing marks, and no failures?

And then? And then they enter the "big, bad world" - totally unprepared. This big bad world has dissapointments, and that criminal thing - failure - to secure every job that they sit for, to get every promotion that they want, to get the kind of raise they think they deserve.
And then, 14 year olds commit suicide (we blame the system of course, not the coping mechanism of the child), 24 year olds get stressed, 35 year olds get diabetes and cardiac / BP problems. And adults treat success, not with humility, but with obvious gloating. And failure, not with healthy coping mechanisms, but by blaming the boss, the interviewer, the world, or, best of all, the parents and the spouse.

Here is, in brief, what I am trying to say:

• Removing failure also removes the opportunity to teach children healthy coping skills.
• The system is not to blame if your child commits suicide at 14. His/her coping skills are to blame.
• It is as important to teach children how to deal with success as it is to deal with failure. And gloating or putting other ppl down is NOT  a healthy response to success.
• When we dont teach our children coping skills, it has definite impact on their health and wellness later in life because we have to deal with failure all our lives.

 

bravery awards 2013

http://www.siliconindia.com/news/general/Republic-Day-2013-22-Children-to-Get-Bravery-Awards-nid-139524-cid-1.html

every year, as they pass in the parade, i wonder about the stories behind them smiling faces, and wonder why those stories are not published a lot more.

this link above is all one cld get for national bravery awards 2013.