Happy Lohri

पींगा , हूटे, ते मेरी माँ 

सुवेरे सुवेरे वंगां , गौण , ते हासे 

किनारी वाली चुन्नी, 

आठ आने दी रेवड़ी 

ते रुपये दी गजक।

माँ, 

आज लोहड़ी देंदे हाथ 

तेरे हथां नु बड़ा सहकदे आ ...

Swings, friends, and my mother…

 Bangles clinking in the early dawn, 

Songs, and laughter.. 

A gold bordered chunni.. 

50 paise for the milk sweet 

And a rupee for the jaggery one.. 

Maa Today, 

as I give to my children 

I miss 

The touch of your hands 

the most.. 

Happy Lohri..

benefits of using Vodafone aka what is it like to use vodafone in india

Some months ago, Vodafone asked us to submit our documents Again. Fair enough. I have 2 Vodafone connections - one prepaid and one post paid.

We sent an sms requesting someone to collect the documents from us. Predictably, no one came. But the messages stopped coming. For a while. When the messages resumed, we placed the request for collection once more. No one came. The messages stopped coming before every outgoing call. On the prepaid, they also suspended the outgoing facility, INCLUDING the outgoing to vodafone care to find out what the hell happened. I called Vodafone to find out what the hell happened. After a 20 minute wait, (and no option on the IVR to talk to someone about document collection), i was informed that i have to go personally to a vodafone store and that the pick up option is not valid in prepaid connections. Why couldnt someone tell us that sooner?

Some days ago, there was a call from Vodafone telling us that our documents are not received yet. I asked them to send someone. They asked me to wait at home for 2 hours. i did. No one came. The message before every call kept coming though.

Today, armed with the document that the message keeps repeating before every call (your address proof and your ID proof and originals to be carried for verification) , yours truly went to the Vodafone store. Prepared for a long wait. it is usually 30 minutes before you can get anywhere. After 30 minutes, someone passing by asked me what my token no. was and why i was there. When i told them i just have to submit the documents, they said, "Oh you dont need a token for that. This counter here is only for that." Would it have been too much to expect, for someone to tell us that? or for a small notice in the store to that effect? even a small notice at the counter to that effect? Yes, apparently.

At the counter, to my shock, i am handed out 2 more forms to fill. One for the prepaid and one for the post paid. With a photograph to be attached. "But the message does not say photograph required to be carried!" i asked.
The person at the counter mentioned in a manner that a sarkari babu would be proud to emulate "You cant submit without a photograph."

After a little anger, he wrote down an email id and said "just scan your documents and email them to this id."

NOW i was livid. if this option was available, why the hell didnt vodafone let us know? Its not easy to leave your office and child and brave the delhi winters to get to a vodafone store ONLY for this.

I asked "Where can i lodge a compaint?"
He said "not here."

I persisted "What is your complaint mechanism?"
"Please fill up a feedback form."

"This is not a feedback. this is a formal complaint."
"No idea where you can file a complaint."

Someone standing there helpfully guided me to a brochure seductively titled "Power to you". They also pointed out that we could call the Nodal Officer upto 6 p.m. I glanced at my watch. 1720 hours. Plenty of time to go. I called. user Busy. Called again. And again. For 15 minutes. Apparently, a lot of people need to contact the nodal officer. The call was never picked up.

At 1735 i called up the call center. There is no option that allows you to talk to a person. You have to trick the IVR into letting you do that. That magic was achieved after 2 attempts.
I spoke to Kamlesh. The conversation is below:

Me: "I need to submit a request for pick up of documents. Also, i need you to give me a docket no. of a complaint so that i can take this case to TRAI. For months, this harassment has been going on in the name of collecting documents which should have been a simple straightforward process. "

He: "I am sorry you had to face inconvenience. can i place your call on hold?"

Me: For what?? I just need a docket no. for this complaint. Nothing else.

He: Ok, let me give you the docket number. Please wait.

Me: Ok.

2 minutes later.

kamlesh: I apologise, but there is a technical issue and we are not able to generate docket numbers at this time. I cannot give you a docket number.
Me: Can you give me a reason why your nodal officer does not answer calls?
K: When did you call?
Me: 1720 hours.
K: It should have been before 5 p.m.
M: But your brochure says upto 6 p.m.
K: Silence.

M: So what you are saying is, you do not have an answer for why my documents have not been picked up yet. You do not know why the email id was not provided to customers, you will not give me a docket id. Can i talk to your manager?"

K: I will have to put you on hold.

M: For how long? (By now, i have been on the phone for 15 minutes with no answers and no resolution in sight)

K: No idea.

M: Arrange a call back.

K: we cannot arrange a call back because there is a technical hitch.

M: There is a technical hitch in telling your manager to call me?

K: Silence.

M: Ok, so let me get this right. You will not issue a docket no., your manager cannot call back, your nodal officer will not pick up the phone, and you broadcast this message before every call with WRONG information?

K: You should call up the call center to confirm what all to carry to the vodafone store.

M: Whats your name?

K: Kamlesh.

M: Kamlesh, are you aware that your IVR does not have an option to talk to someone? Does not have an option to find out ANYTHING about document collection at all?

And this, my dears, this is the answer to why Vodafone customers will be the first to use mobile number portability and flee. Incidentally, i also have an Airtel phone and have faced absolutely no harassment from them for papers.

Logic Puzzle – Uncle Bob’s Life..

Before the puzzle: i have also created a really good (even if one says so oneself) quiz on random indian history. try it here.

And now, the Puzzle: (This one is not on Braingle) :-)

Uncle Bob had led a rich life. He had donned many hats in his 75 years and was reasonably proud of it too. On his 76^th birthday, Nicole, his favorite granddaughter asked him to narrate all his professions, and what came when. His hands were quick, but not his memory. This is how his narrative went. Can you piece together the order for Nicole?

I retired as a ham radio operator, but started as a barber. Really, I did. I was only 15 at the time. In the 60 years that I have worked, on an average, every job lasted about 4 years.

I was a wine taster once, but that was after I had done some farming. I never did the same thing twice.

I was a chemist and then a doorman immediately after, but all that was before I turned explorer. The exploring was before the ushering and the innkeeping.

I was a prospector before I was a jailor, and an administrator before I was an innkeeper. The hunting profession was followed immediately by the exploring profession, and immediately after exploring I did Prospecting.

Would you believe that I was a hunter and a farmer? A gunman and a shepherd? A wine taster and an usher? All of it! Of course, I hunted before I farmed, and gunned before I herded. The wine tasting preceded the ushering though.

After that nasty jailor job, I went away to a quiet village and was a shepherd for a while. That was a very peaceful time, but it didn't last. As a shepherd, I often thought of how I'd like to be an innkeeper sometime. Of course, I didn't know it then, but that profession was a few years away in my destiny.

Guess what happened at the end of my innkeeping days? Why, I saved up some money, got a proper course done and was a Ham Radio Operator ! Fancy that, me, a proper Ham Radio Operator!

But like I said, I was a gunman once, though only a token one, you see, outside a hotel. It was after that, that I carried the gun to hunt. Now THAT was some use of the gun. I think it makes a difference, what you do. When I was a shepherd, and taking care of sheep, see, there was the urge to grow my own things, and I became a farmer right after. And when I was an administrator, it was easy to slip into the role of an innkeeper from there. It does make a difference, yes. You must remember that, my little ones – carry a token gun, and you become a hunter. Carry a little sheep, and you become a farmer.

Review of Agatha Christie's The Burden

This Xmas, i gifted self about 6 Agatha Christies. One of them is being reviewed. The Burden.

When a book's blurb says "The kind of writing perfectly at home in a women's magazine." You should understand that that is the most flattering thing the publisher could find about the work. AKA do not buy. Enough said.

Even if you are a die hard Agatha Christie fan, even if you love romance, it makes sense to avoid this book. For two simple reasons. It is not Agatha Christie. It is not romance. Thank God Agatha Christie gave up romance as a genre. And, avoid the book. Please.

More ways to go green

It started with my son asking me why i dont use notebook to practice his letters and drawing with him, and why we do it on a slate. Everyone else in class does it in a book ma.
That set me thinking. I use the slate because as children, we could not afford exercise notebooks. So all the rough work, all the drawing practice, and all the practice sums, revision answers, exam preparation answers etc. got done on the slate. We could just check if the answer is right, then rub it off and do the next answer.
Imagine the sheer amount of paper that gets saved!

I think its a good idea to pass around to other people who might be looking for ways to go green and use less paper. I am thinking of putting a slate on the fridge for my to do lists too. Right now, we use the back sides of bills that we get.. but they arent always available .. so maybe this is a better option. What do you think?

Baidu, Tencent and India

Khushwant Singh once remarked to a Pakistani friend " The difference between you and us is that you import your cars and build mosques. We build our own cars. " That was a very important statement. Its about Sovereignty. We had our own heavy indsutry. We had our own education institutions, even our own space reasearch program that was boo-ed by the naysayers, but doggedly pushed. (One of things for which I love Nehru)

And then, the currency of the game changed. In addition to physical assets, digital supremacy became key currency. While we were demolishing mosques and trying to create temples, while we were tomtomming our fat packet google and yahoo salaries, what was China doing? It was creating Baidu, Tencent, and other internet giants - basic stuff that ensured that it did not come to depend on anything external. Who has the best techies in the world? Arguably, we do. And who has the ONLY known competition in the world to Google? China Does.

Who sends software engineers to the West like a staple export? We do. And who has the courage to take on MS and Yahoo in their own domain - English, French et al? Tencent, from China.

Who has the most coding experience in the world? We do. And who has an instant messaging company that pips Apple in growth rankings? China does.

When we are done discussing the application devleopment growth numbers and the fat salaries, when we are done with honor killings, Barkha Dutt's arrogance and the color of Saif Ali Khan's shirt, maybe it will be time for that long forgotten concept - nation building with a long term vision.

Guess who will win the supremacy race in the long run? We will. Because we have it in us. :-)

Book Review: Absolute Khushwant

Like I've maintained earlier, a book has to be exceptionally good or bad for yours truly to review it. Not because I m hoity toity, but because I am not a good book reviewer. Films, yes. Books, no.

Absolute Khushwant can be summed up in one word - Unputdownable. After how long has one read a book that is not a murder mystery by Agatha Christie and can be called unputdownable? Ummm....really, really long.

The man is straight from the gut, the conversational style (and the large size print) make for a breezy yet extremely engaging read. Engaging, because he forces you to think.. to almost talk back with him. The style is so conversational that you are tempted to jump in with "But you are obviously biased Khushwant. Remember when..." then you realise he is not there. Just the paper.

To make it brief, lets talk about what works and does not work for the book.
Pros
1. The very conversational style.
2. The honest writing.
3. Fresh perspective on a lot of things.
4. His absolute insistence on secularism and his correct identification of lack of tolerance being our cancer.

What doesnt work
1. A lot of opinions are not entirely based on facts, though he would like to have us believe that they are. But they are his opinions and we respect his right to have them.

In the end, I have only one complaint. The title of the book should have been Absolut Khushwant. Equally intoxicating - the book, and the man who peers through the pages of the book. 5 stars and a double Thums Up to this book.

Jab We All Met

Today was a very special day for moi. Today, we had a small gathering of the very close blog friends that we have made over the years. Mampi, nm, and ihm.

Each one of these women is very, very special. Because we know each other from the blog, we know each other first, from the inside, and then socially. Some of them dont blog so much any more, but we have to thank the blogsworld for bringing us together.

Today, sitting there, listening to conversation.. one felt.. comfortable... like in the company of old friends.. and that is what makes it very, very special. Small blessings.

Unfortunately, we were so busy having a good time, that we took no pics at all.

When...

When did it become ok, fashionable even, to hate? When did tolerance and co-existence become "weakness"? When did pride in one's culture, faith, or language start being based on hatred for another faith, culture or language?

For a people just 3 generations away from one of the biggest recorded massacres in history(The partition of India, in case you forgot.), aren't we incredibly snug about hatred and violence?

Unfortunately, i have no answers. I do not understand this culture. Or this thought process. Or the need to hate to feel secure. When did it stop being about personal excellence, and start being about the rat race, through and through?? I feel like i was standing by the river, and everyone else took the fast lane on the road. I feel left behind, alone, but not lonely. I see the achievers and the haters and the smugness, and feel no envy at all. Just wondering.. when did all this happen?

Quote from Calvin: Nothing changes from day to day. One day, you wake up, and realise that nothing is as it used to be.