Book Review: U Turn by Sunil Sachdev

This book is now out of print. It came out in 1992. 

Every book belongs to an era. 2024 is not the right era for half of this book. But for the other half, it is still relevant. 

The writing is crisp and intelligent. The metaphors are well drawn. Sarcasm drips in the right dose from every line. 

One of the strangest things on earth 

is a place they call school. 

while the place is meant for learning, 

you learn out of as a rule. 

At some places, there is timeless angst: 

without a motherland to defend, 

a soldier should kill who? 

In a poem called Life Management, he presents a view that many of us will chuckle and agree with: 

The long-term objectives 

vs the short-term goals; 

the debate is endless

but the theory has holes. 

The futility of words is rued at the end of a long poem on the subject: 

Great poets, thinkers, and the like 

will come and go for ever 

they can't change a thing

but fill library shelves forever. 

It is in education and politics that his comments are most incisive. One can debate their practicality, and that is what makes them food for thought. On education: 

The whole outlook on education 

needs a revolutionary U-Turn 

each to his needs should be the aim 

not to his age as is the pattern. 

Love for nature is also very evident at more places than one. But this paragraph stands out: 

It its truest sense 

the rainbow should come

before the rain; 

as 

then at its end would be 

not only 

a pot of gold 

but a shower 

of rubies 

and gems

and diamonds. 

The poems I especially liked are Coloured Vision, and the series on Indian recipes. 

Coloured Vision: 

If green is the colour 

of leaves

It can't be the colour 

of envy. 

If blue is the colour 

of the sky 

how can I ever feel blue? 

If red is the colour 

of the glowing sunset 

how can it mean danger? 

If black is the colour of 

a starry night 

how can black bring bad luck? 

If white is the colour 

of a new born day 

how can white stand for mourning? 

Reason #142587 that I love secondhand books: I got an author signed copy of the first edition - 1992!!! 

झूठे

तुम्हारे बोल 

का क्या मोल? 

प्रतिच्छेद

मर्दों के संसार चलते हैं 

चौपालों से 

अखबारों से 

पंचायत से 

टीवी पर चल रहे फुटबाल से 

सामयिक चर्चाओं से 

निवेश पर विवेचनाओं से 

दफ्तरों से 

खेल के मैदानों  से 

संगीत- नाटक सभाओं से 

घरों की बैठकों से 

औरतों के संसार चलते हैं 

सांझे चूल्हे से 

पनघट से 

पानदान से 

झूलों से 

नदी के घाट से 

बैलगाड़ी में बैठ पहुँचने वाले मेले, 

तीज त्योहार से 

व्रत उपवास से 

गरबा, सेंदूर खेला, वरलक्ष्मी व्रत, बोपटलु से 

घरों की रसोईयों से 

इनके मिलने के दायरों में 

कोई प्रतिच्छेद (intersection)  नहीं है 

This poem speaks about the social settings for men and women, and how there are literally no common areas where men and women can socially interact with each other. This leads to limited dialogue and exchange of views. While the poem has some exaggeration, because they do interact in marriages and other social functions, by and large, both the topics of discussion and the physical spaces where they meet are very different. Even when entertaining at home, men tend to sit in the drawing room, while women retire to the kitchen or the 'parlour'. Even while working in the office, men tend to socialise in office, while women focus on finishing work and reaching home to start their home shift of caregiving and domestic work. 

The world of men

is in offices 

pubs 

football matches 

news discussions

water coolers 

drawing room discussions 

The world of women

is in watering holes 

bakeries 

swings 

fairs 

dance parties 

kitchen chats 

And there is 

no intersection. 

Film Review: Bad Newz

 

First things first, Dharma Productions is the producer of this movie. How do we know that? From the endless plugs of ghosts of movies-we-hope-you-will-remember-but-nope-you-don't. 

The writers are Tarun Dudeja and Ishita Moitra. They deserve a special award for having the highest number of missed opportunities of humour in a script. 

What I loved about the film is the plot. One will not even blink at a plot about two women who are dependent on the same man because he is the father of both their children. But a woman is having step-fraternal twins - from two different fathers. What's more? The prospective fathers agree to a paternity test AND don't bat an eyelid when they are told the results. 

This could so easily have been a moral science story with a serious lecture in place. The woman sermonising about the general ills of society for women. But it was crafted as a funny script, where the protagonist is an ambitious chef. The situations that lead to the... situation.. appear natural, not forced. 

Tripti Dimri is a good actress. The revelation in the film was that Vicky Kaushal is not just a versatile actor, he also has amazing screen presence. In a character that has probably been played ad nauseum, and for Dilliwallas, is not a character at all, he manages to create something that one continues to want to see. Any comparisons with Ranvir Singh are not fair - for the simple reason that this character is a little more nuanced. The empty bravado that was integral to Ranvir's character is totally missing here.  He is GOAT but also attached to mom and vulnerable and scared of not having his phone on him. 

Amy Virk is a surprise. The casting of Amy Virk is perfect-o. This character needed his calm presence. While both screen time and range for his character are limited compared to Vicky's character, he manages to make his presence felt.  

The storytelling is interesting. In the sense that the situational comedy does not all fall flat. It remains light-hearted, and most importantly, is able to avoid the irritating slapstick flavour that one has come to expect from Bollywood films. Where it does not amuse, it at least does not irritate. 

The cinematography is good, but is more than ably aided by the fantastic locations. The music score did not really lead to humming once the movie was over. The background score made its presence felt in the right way at some places. 

Final feeling? I was amused for the most part. Some chuckles were drawn and once, laughter also happened. Can this trio deliver another comedy? Maybe. But it will be a lot of hard work. 

Siskiyaan

सिसकियों से 

मन में रह जाता है मवाद 

जो कालांतर में 

बनता है अवसाद। 

दहाड़ें मार कर रोने के अपने फायदे हैं। 

******* 

Book Review - Suhaginein by Mohan Rakesh

 

पुस्तक में जो कहानियाँ हैं, उनके नाम हैं - अपरिचित, उसकी रोटी, ग्लास टैंक, सुहागिनें, आखिरी सामान, फौलाद का आकाश। 

यह समीक्षा में इस लिए लिखा जा रहा है क्यूंकि प्रकाशक ने पुस्तक में सूची प्रदान करने की ज़हमत नहीं उठाई। 2 पन्ने वहाँ बचा लिए गए हैं। ना प्रस्तावना (Foreword) है। 1 paragraph में मोहन राकेश का सारा जीवन बयान कर दिया गया है। यदि Penguin को हिन्दी में किताबें निकालनी हैं, तो थोड़ा ध्यान उनकी मर्यादा पर भी देना चाहिए। 

अब पुस्तक पर आते हैं।  

इस पुस्तक की समीक्षा करना सरल भी है और कठिन भी। 

सरल इसलिए कि ये कहानियाँ पुराने जमाने की रेल गाड़ियों सरीखी हैं। शुरू होती हैं एक ढर्रे पर - समतल, सपाट,  आसान सी। फिर जैसे रेल गाड़ी रफ्तार पकड़ती है, वैसे ही कहानियाँ अपनी चाल बदल लेती हैं और किसी जीवन की विकटता को सरलता से हमारे सामने रख जाती हैं। 

विकटता में समस्या ये है कि उसे कनखियों से देखना आसान है। इंसान यूं सोच सकता है कि "ऐसा थोड़ी होता है!"  या "यूं तो बस कहानियों में होता है। असल ज़िंदगी में थोड़ी!?" 

पर मोहन राकेश जी की कहानियों की विकटता पाठक के सामने कोई न कोई चेहरा ले आती है। किसी असली औरत का चेहरा - जिस ने ठीक इसी तरह से - दबी ज़बान से, 1-2 अधकहे जुमलों से, अपने जीवन का यथार्थ हमें बताना चाहा था। हमने अनदेखा कर दिया था। हम हंस दिए थे - खिसियानी सी हंसी जो बच निकालने के काम आती है। 

वे सब स्त्रियाँ, उन सब स्त्रियों के भूत, इस पुस्तक के पन्नों में बैठे है। जयूं जयूं वरके खुलते जाते हैं, वे सारे भूत सशक्ल हमारे सामने आते हैं। हम उनका सामना नहीं कर पाते। 

इसलिए यह पुस्तक कठिन है - यह जीवंत है। 

दूसरी वजह यह भी है कि कहानियाँ कई दशक पहले की हैं। पर उनकी घटनाएँ, आज भी समसामयिक हैं। पता नहीं ये समय का ठहर जाना है या हमारे समाज की सामूहिक विफलता। 

112 पन्नों की यह पुस्तक 6 अलग संसार अपने भीतर सँजोये है। इसे जरूर पढ़ें। सुहागनें तो खैर सबसे जानी मानी कहानी है ही, बाकी सब कहानियाँ भी अपनी बात बड़ी मार्मिकता से रखती हैं। 

 मिरे ख़ुदा मुझे इतना तो मो'तबर कर दे
मैं जिस मकान में रहता हूँ उस को घर कर दे

- इफ़तिखार आरिफ़   

कतरन - फूल

फिर मैंने तुमसे पूछा था, 

"तुम्हें किस रंग के फूल पसंद हैं?" 

तुमने कहा था, "आसमानी" 

पर, आसमानी रंग का तो 

शायद कोई फूल नहीं होता। 

इसीलिए तो! 

जिस दिन फूलों में 

आसमानी रंग उतर आएगा 

उस दिन 

मुरझाए फूल 

धरती पर नहीं गिरेंगे 

पंख उगा कर 

उड़ जाएंगे 

व्योम की ओर 

जैसे मैं उड़ जाना चाहती हूँ। 

क्या तुम्हें धरती 

बिल्कुल सुंदर नहीं लगती? 

बहुत सुंदर लगती है। 

अपनी नहीं लगती। 

Translation: 

And then I asked you 

"What is your favourite colour in flowers?" 

"The colour of the sky," you said. 

"But I don't think 

there is a flower 

the colour of the sky." 

"The day a flower 

finds the sky in itself 

it will not wither 

to fall. 

It will grow wings 

and fly 

to eternity. 

Like I want to." 

"Do you not find this Earth 

beautiful?" 

"Very beautiful. 

Just not.... mine." 

As usual, since the original Hindi uses some wordplay that is unique to Hindi, the translation is not as enjoyable as the original. 

Every language has its own wordplay that I thoroughly enjoy. 

Series Review: The Perfect Couple on Netflix

Note to self

1. If you like short stories, do NOT read novels. You owe your time more respect than that.

2. Unless you love Nicole Kidman or Ishaan Khattar, understand the concept of "cut your losses". The plot is available on imdb. Don't waste time.

This is not a series. This is a pendulum whose only job is to swing - from here to there, there to here.. and so on.

Don't bother counting the plotholes. They are there to make BMC (Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation) feel good about themselves.

This isn't a murder mystery (I mean, it is, but in the same way that stretched chewing gum is praline), it isn't a soap opera (but it tries really hard), and it definitely makes no sense.

It's a limited series. Which means it might vanish from Netflix sometime soon. And thank god for that!!

The night girl and the day girl

At night, this new person rises in me. 

This person is not like my day person. 

My day person is someone who has made peace with the inequities of life. Who says that inequality and unfairness are not a bug, they are a feature of our world. 

The day person forgives and forgets people who treat her badly. She keeps a safe distance, but does not really ruminate over the bad things they did.  She does not want to give it back as good as she gets, and is very mindful of the fact that increasingly, everyone above the age of 30 days is always, always right. They can make no mistake and do no wrong. 

The day person is calm, laughs easily, swears, but only for fun. Sees someone treating another person badly and if she can't help it, looks the other way. 

The night person, is who the day person was before the age of.. maybe 20 or so. The night girl remembers one or two people each day who were mean to her. She then proceeds to give them the choicest galis, telling them all the things they did to hurt her, and how she chose peace over confrontation, because when has confrontation ever changed anyone's mind? 

The night person thinks of all the things that are wrong with the world and her life, and is enraged. She does not focus on the good things in life, on the blessings in life. The night person has no mercy for anyone who abuses their power just because they can. She wishes painful death upon the rich and mighty who mow down animals and humans in a drunken stupor. She reads updates on Mercedes and BMW Hit and Run cases. She hopes that every corrupt person would die choking on their ill-gotten wealth. She wishes instant karma upon every bully. 

The night person gets all brilliant ideas. She knows the day person will never get them. The day person just doesn't have the sharp brain that she has. So, some nights, she gives up on sleep, gets up at 4 am, and writes blog posts about those bright ideas. Then, she waits till morning and sends them to people. These people are usually amazed at how creative and incisive these ideas are. 

***** 

I want to tell the night girl, that there is no need to deny oneself. She does not need to hide and come out in the night. If she feels anger at the unfairness of life, she does not have to justify that anger to herself. There is no need for two separate people. The night girl is the real me. The day girl is also the real me. But I think that inequity - lack of fairness - people getting away with doing things to people, is something i just cannot make my peace with, even if I am the only person in the world who does not like it. 

If she wants to cry and sob well into the night for things that happened more than one to four decades ago, she should. There is no such thing as too much time to grieve. Especially because, at that time, and since then, she has been busy being strong. She does not need to be strong anymore. She can totally be this sap who cries easily and laughs at stupid jokes. She is safe, and she has worked hard to reach this safety - physically and financially. 

It is safe to come out at night. But it is also safe to come out in the day. It is ok to tell people off if they are being rude or inconsiderate. A relationship does not have to be based on inequality of respect. It cannot be. And a truly nice person would not be disrespectful or inconsiderate. If they are, then they do not value what matters to her and with them, she might find company, but will not find companionship. To steal an old cliche, better to be alone in that case. Friends who do not value you are really not friends. And friends who value you will take your feedback if you tell them that you found them rude or inconsiderate. 

Sigh! The night girl, when she comes out in the day, is going to make the day girl very very lonely. The day girl currently has quite a network of plastic placeholders. Looks like spring cleaning is in the air, even though we are moving towards fall (well, literally and figuratively). 

मुहावरों पर मेरे सवाल - हिन्दी

वैसे तो हर भाषा में अपना रस होता है 

पर जो रस भारतीय भाषाओं के मुहावरों में है 

वह कहीं नहीं 

*********** 

मुहावरों पर मेरे सवाल 

आव देखा ना ताव 

क्या हैं ये - आव और ताव? 

इन्हें देखना 

क्यूँ जरूरी है

कुछ करने से पहले? 

ठाट- बाट से रहने वालों के घर में 

ठाट और बाट कहाँ मिलते हैं? 

हाथ कंगन को आरसी क्या 

- बिना हाथ के कंगन को 

आरसी क्यूँ चाहिए? 

या, हाथ में कंगन आ जाने से 

हाथ को आरसी की आवश्यकता है 

ऐसी जादुई वस्तु - आरसी - है क्या? 

आनन फानन में से 

आनन कौन है 

और फानन कौन? 

इन दोनों के साथ आने से 

काम जल्दी जल्दी क्यूँ हो जाते हैं? 

ऊंट के मुंह में जीरा? 

पर मुंह तो सबसे बड़ा 

हाथी का होता है 

और जीरे से छोटी होती है 

राई 

तो हाथी के मुंह में राई क्यूँ नहीं? 

यदि चोर चोर होते हैं 

मौसेरे भाई 

तो चचेरे, फुफेरे, ममेरे भाई 

चोर पुलिस होते हैं?

 

Meditation after a spiritual crisis

Last week, a young boy died. He was in my son's school. For 3 days, the entire school community, every single parent, was praying for that kid. We waited for updates but did not stop praying. 

At the end of those 3 days, we lost him. Even now, I am choking while writing this. 

This incident made me lose all faith in God and meditation. 

For one day, I did not pray. The hands automatically went to the lamp in the temple and lit it. 

I don't remember how long the daze lasted. One day, maybe two. 

When it lifted, I realised, i don't pray for God. I pray for myself. It gives me peace. Meditation is like my relaxation technique. 

A little later, when the head was a little cleared, my meditation reminded me that that evening, at about 5 30 pm, I had been distinctly told that the boy has not made it. I ignored that as my own misgivings and continued to focus on positive messaging. But that one newsflash at 5 30 pm was solid enough for me to remember later. 

It was a mistake. Just like Tejaswee - many years ago. She was not meant to go. Nor was this kid. But they went. It was a horrible, horrible mistake. 

I am yet to get over the shock.

Then, it was time to bring Ganpati Bappa home. We did. 

And, as soon as He came, it was as if my house underwent a transformation. I cannot describe it. There was happiness - in the house, and in the heart. 

This year, I just feel like going and sitting near him for no reason at all. That connection that we feel with Ganpati is back. 

Tonight, as I was talking to Him just before bed, the thought of that boy came up strongly, and He said, I need you to open your arms and visualise the fire from your heart. You do not meditate to do anything for God. You do it to complete your own lessons of this birth. Your own work of this birth. 

Will I still be allowed to experience Ananda? 

Of course! You are always welcome to Ananda. But understand that Ananda is a result of many years of doing good. 

You do not do anything for God. You do it to fulfil your duties and karma in this birth. Ananda does not benefit anyone except you. And it is a privilege. Be grateful for it. It is rare. Value it. Treasure it. You cannot live one day without Ananda* to anchor you. 

*A meditative state that I experience during.. well, meditation.  

On Friendships

As we have all observed, there is an epidemic of loneliness. It doesn't come so much from not having people around, but from not finding companionship in that company. We feel alone even amidst people. 

The other thing that happens is that people tend to ghost a lot more. Suddenly, they are not calling you. Suddenly, they are not around. Or one day, they snap on a relatively small issue and never get in touch again. We are the ones doing it too. Suddenly, it's too much work to stay in touch with so and so irritating friend. 

As an old person, I have been paying some attention to this. Why does this happen? Why were there lifelong friendships among our parents and their friends, but transitory ones for us? 

These are some common themes that I have observed: 

A. Persistence - You will not like all your friends all the time. They will make statements that will make you cringe. Their political ideologies will make you doubt your own sanity. But stay in touch. Respect the person, not their thoughts or actions. Unless there is significant mistrust (with evidence) and disrespect, keep the friendship going. Reach out. 

B. Consistency - If you call each other once a year on birthdays, do that EVERY SINGLE YEAR. If you only ever send one message once a year, send it every year. If you meet on the last Saturday of every month, clear everything else in that time slot. 

Consistency comes from prioritisation. To be consistent in a largely VUCA world, you will have to learn to say NO - to new connections, new opportunities, new distractions. For something to be lasting, you have to make it last. Not lost. 

C. Communication - When someone appears upset with you, ask them why. Then, truly listen to what they are saying. When someone asks you if you are upset, and you are, do tell them what's bothering you. These open communications and fights have become so rare in our forever polite and politically correct world. A good fight, and a good cry, are included in the ingredients for a great, lasting friendship. 

Some of my friendships go back decades, most go back at least a few years. Those whom i know from more recent meets, I am still finding a space with them. When it comes to friendships, I am a tortoise. I move slowly, very slowly, and the end of every friendship hurts. Because each one is treasured and cultivated.