On Living, recrafted

The previous post, On Living, was inspired by the style of a real poet - Arvind Joshi.(I have posted one of his poems on this blog earlier).

And he very kindly agreed to review and improve that poem. Here is the same piece, after coming out of the "playhouse" of his imagination. Same thing, supposedly, but how different and nice it reads now!

“It is hard,” he had said, finally.

Living on a raft is hard.

Some days

you keep them all out for many hours,
the people, the talk,
for many days sometimes.

you spread out the tarpaulin.

it’s safe then.

lonely, but safe.

 

Some days,

it gets rough outside.

 

it’s like the sea gone rough

the tides gone up.

 

you don’t know how long

you can keep up.

 

if the raft will hold.

 

but you know how it is.

the barest things don’t break easy.

 

Some days, he said,

it gets nice.

 

there’s sun.

 

it’s like hearing the waves

in gentle splash.

 

you don’t want to be closed in then.

not even on a raft.