How do we describe our actions?

 Have you ever noticed that when we do something that is not right, we dissociate ourselves from it immediately: 

"I did what needed to be done." 

"It was my job." 

"I had to do this to survive." 

But when we do something positive, we associate it with ourselves, personally: 

"Very glad to be a part of ~" 

"Spent a beautiful morning doing ~" 

This is not isolated. Even the drug lord, when asked to describe himself, says, "I was a good guy. I helped a lot of people."  - This is documented. Even serial killers and psychopaths view themselves as "good person". 

The need to feel that one is a good person is universal. So, anything that conflicts with that need is either flat out denied (I never did any of those things) or rationalised (I did what needed to be done). 

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In the spiritual world, the goodness in the human heart is the natural state of existence. To do something that hurts another soul - that is the anomaly. That is why we immediately distance ourselves from it. 

Even a hacker, when asked why he hacked, will give you a reason like avenging another wrong, or something else. Very few people say, " I did it to see them suffer." The words are likely to be "It had to be done." 

If you want to move towards unity with your self, the way to do that is by removing the distance between the self and the action by the self. 

A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself, "How will I describe this?"

If the answer is, "I did~", that is an action that is close to the unity of your soul. 

Conversely, if the answer is closer to the impersonal - "I had to.." "Something needed to be done~" etc., then it is distant from your soul and will lead to discomfort and friction. 

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 I wish i could explain this using a brilliant Zen story or something, but, well, one has limitations.