For as long as i can remember, my self-concept has been that of a fumbly, awkward teenager. Then, the world's dowdiest housewife. Because that is how my family made me feel - awkward, unsuitable, ugly, and dowdy.
But in recent years, people have told me that I also exude another energy - kind, warm, and, according to some, unwittingly sensuous (meaning, they can see that I have no idea of having that effect on people, but it's there nonetheless).
Yesterday, Roopam came home and as I was walking to my room through the corridor, she asked me to pause. And she put me in a different mindspace. And asked me to pose just so. She said, "You won't believe this is you."
And I didn't!
Those pictures had another quality. But they also initiated another shift in me. For the first time, I started to own, not just acknowledge, but accept, that I might have another kind of energy - kind, warm, and positive.
When, in meditation, I see my own energy, it is usually the spiritual domain. My aura is not white or even golden yellow. It is still the healing yellow, and transitioning towards pink (spiritual love) and white.
But this energy, belonging to this world, is new to me - the acknowledgement of self as a being also of this planet - that does not happen.
6 comments:
It's wonderful for you to be recognizing yourself in positive terms!
Thank you! Also very new for me. To be talking abt this so much.
I'm glad for your positive experience. I must also tell you that I had not realized that you are a "she."
congratulations
Hi Snowbrush: Good to see you here. You are not alone. Most people who read the blog think I am a man. :) Perhaps it has something to do with writing style.
Thank you!
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