My mother has elevated revenge to an art form.
Oh, i used to be naive about animals. I thought they are male, unmarried, and travelling alone.
It amazes me how every year, a childless writer will set down suggestions on the joys of travelling with children.
I wondered if she married a man who considered asking for directions anywhere as a genetic weakness. I wish I had a dime for every cloverleaf that we circled for 8 days.
We explored every dead end road in the United States, blazed trails where only covered wagons had been, and discovered maternity homes for bloodsucking mosquitoes.
Children do not go on a vacation to have a good time. If the parents really wanted them to have a good time, they would leave them at home.
No self respecting family would think of going on a vacation without the 'seat-kicker'. The seat kicker is a fore runner of the bionic leg. He positions himself just behind daddy's seat and has been clocked at 200 kicks per minute for as long as 400 miles. The motion affects his hearing.
Kids haven't been home unless they have pawed through their old sports trophies and ribbons, 2080 friendship pictures from grade schools, rubber worms, dolls with no eyes, graduation tassels, rugs from Disneyland, pennants, report cards, sand-filled cameras, basketballs, kits, dog-eared letters, college catalogs, and licence plates.
"Mom, this is our history. It shows that we were here."
"Your father and i live at poverty level. What more proof do we need that you were here?"
Clean underwear does not reproduce itself.
Students who write to their parents get remembered in the will.
Look, son, ever since you graduated from college you've been trying to find yourself. You wanna know where you are? You're somewhere between Clearsil and bankruptcy.
"I take care of the car. "
"Pouring Orange crush in the radiator when it boils over is not taking care of it. "
It was always understood that my husband, Darth Vader, would be the custodian of the television tuner. He regarded the electronic device as his personal "force" of good over evil TV shows.
Ten children... thats a lot of shoes, a lifetime of overbites, an eternity of 'Can I..'s, endless evenings of PTA, years of slammed doors, and an uninterrupted spam of "we've got the kids to think about.."
Every time mom said, "I'm doing this because i love u. ", i knew it was going to be something rotten.
We have an entire generation of kids growing up who have been told that work must be 'fun, relevant, and meaningful. ' it's actually discipline, competition, and repetition. They're confusing work with success. Success is fun, relevant and meaningful. Work is just plain dogging it.
- from Family- The ties that bind, and gag.
Oh, i used to be naive about animals. I thought they are male, unmarried, and travelling alone.
It amazes me how every year, a childless writer will set down suggestions on the joys of travelling with children.
I wondered if she married a man who considered asking for directions anywhere as a genetic weakness. I wish I had a dime for every cloverleaf that we circled for 8 days.
We explored every dead end road in the United States, blazed trails where only covered wagons had been, and discovered maternity homes for bloodsucking mosquitoes.
Children do not go on a vacation to have a good time. If the parents really wanted them to have a good time, they would leave them at home.
No self respecting family would think of going on a vacation without the 'seat-kicker'. The seat kicker is a fore runner of the bionic leg. He positions himself just behind daddy's seat and has been clocked at 200 kicks per minute for as long as 400 miles. The motion affects his hearing.
Kids haven't been home unless they have pawed through their old sports trophies and ribbons, 2080 friendship pictures from grade schools, rubber worms, dolls with no eyes, graduation tassels, rugs from Disneyland, pennants, report cards, sand-filled cameras, basketballs, kits, dog-eared letters, college catalogs, and licence plates.
"Mom, this is our history. It shows that we were here."
"Your father and i live at poverty level. What more proof do we need that you were here?"
Clean underwear does not reproduce itself.
Students who write to their parents get remembered in the will.
Look, son, ever since you graduated from college you've been trying to find yourself. You wanna know where you are? You're somewhere between Clearsil and bankruptcy.
"I take care of the car. "
"Pouring Orange crush in the radiator when it boils over is not taking care of it. "
It was always understood that my husband, Darth Vader, would be the custodian of the television tuner. He regarded the electronic device as his personal "force" of good over evil TV shows.
Ten children... thats a lot of shoes, a lifetime of overbites, an eternity of 'Can I..'s, endless evenings of PTA, years of slammed doors, and an uninterrupted spam of "we've got the kids to think about.."
Every time mom said, "I'm doing this because i love u. ", i knew it was going to be something rotten.
We have an entire generation of kids growing up who have been told that work must be 'fun, relevant, and meaningful. ' it's actually discipline, competition, and repetition. They're confusing work with success. Success is fun, relevant and meaningful. Work is just plain dogging it.
- from Family- The ties that bind, and gag.
