Thursday, June 28, 2012

why delhi will always remain unsafe for women no matter what we do..

On June 23, 2012 around 1 PM, my friend  boarded the general car of the metro at Noida City Center. She was standing near the doors minding her own business and after a while she felt a guy hovering over her. She thought maybe he has to get off and asked him if he needed to. He told her no, he doesnt need to get off and kept leaning over her. So she asked him to back off a little. He refused and went on to ask my friend that why is she traveling here and not in a womens car. My friend told him there is no restriction on women to travel anywhere cause women can travel decently and asked him to step back. Another guy came in to talk to this offending guy to move. The first guy refuses and soon a fight ensued between these two guys. The fight escalated so drastically that the bad guy hits the helping guy so hard that he fell to the ground bleeding profusely.

All the other 40-50 men in the car start shouting at my friend that she is the reason for this fight, that because of her speaking out the men started fighting, and that she should get off the train!! Shocked, my friend shouted back at these men SHE is not the reason the men are fighting, she stood up for herself and had both politely and then demanded the man to back off, which he refused and continued to harass her and only one guy decided to do something about it and was beaten up. None of these men tried to stop the harassment or even to stop the fight and stood by and watched. My friend calls #100 to report the incident, the fellow who answered the phone hangs up. In the meanwhile all the men are shouting that these girls are to blame and they make the men fight. They kept shouting at her to get off the train and saying things like "Ladkiyan to hoti hi aisee hain...wo dono pit gaye par isko koi asar nahi huya". My friend continued to stick to her stance that she has just as much right to be in the metro as any man and she is not the reason the two men fought, they fought cause one was a pervert and the other tried to teach him some manners. How traumatising it was for my friend to have 50 odd men and surprisingly few women as well, who continued to verbally harass her- for speaking out against harassment and for refusing to leave the metro, just cannot be described in words. Is this what we are now, that one woman has to stand against 50 men shouting that she has as much right to travel as they do without being harassed and when she speaks up no one steps forward to help her and turn right back around and BLAME her!

Dear Men of Delhi and the North:
1. Nothing the administration does to make Delhi safe for women will work if you want delhi to remain unsafe for women.
2. Not all men are bad or lecherous. However, all men who DO NOT oppose such men are as bad. So are all women who judge other women.
3. There is a reason why reservations are needed for women. You are that reason. Remember that.


kj said...

This is awful! It pains me to know the world works this way even once. Your friend has balls (pardon the reference, but it seems so appropriate in this case

I apologize for all of humanity

And shame on you, you 50 men


~nm said...

Thanks for posting this. I really appreciate.

Onkar said...


A said...

How unfortunate and shocking!!! Hats off to your friend. It's such a shame that they all kept quiet when they should have stopped the guy from harassing her but all tried to blame your friend for the incident. No wonder, crime against women is at its peak in India. The victims are put to shame whereas the violators roam free and get encouragement. Isn't it amazing that people don't even think that they or their mother/sister/daughter can also be at the receiving end of such harassment?

Gentle Breeze said...

I intend to fight and I want to win. But my priorities are basically to be a good Brother and a strong one, and to try to be a good father one day...Mike Tyson

Though "Iron" Mike was in now way an apostle of what he said above, the quote epitomises the need for mentally strong people to just not the offender get away...

I am reminded of a little incident that occurred many years ago ... was sitting alongside the cricket ground in a college watching a match..some guys on the other side of ground came and sat next to a college girl and started misbehaving(cat calls - nudges).. a modestly built fellow asked them to stop ... the three bullies sprang on him and started thrashing him.. the fellow being beaten (bleeding from head) ran into the cricket ground followed by the goons.. in the middle uprooted a stump and wacked the living daylights out of the goons aka Rajnikanth :-)... all this in about 5-7 minutes of action... we need more men who are strong in the mind.. body will follow

Manish Raj said...

Indeed the dirt and lawlessness, specifically in northern part of India like Delhi, Haryana, UP and Bihar is very frustrating.

Perhaps India will never reach the prosperity and safety that some of the very small nations with very average people have been able to get with just enforcement of law and execution of plans.

We need more such people who fell on ground. Your friend was not the reason for fight..but that guy fought to save her. Hope your friend could or will take time to say thank you to him at least once, not because what he did was his duty but because he was brave enough to stand up against the bad guys. That will send the right message to him, that what he did was right.

How do we know said...

hi kj: and some women too.. thats whats disgusting.

hi nm: karna hi tha. it was so disgusting!!

Onkar sir: yes. pls do spread the word.

Hi A: yes, totally true.

Hi GB: what an awesome incident. thank you for sharing!

Guruji: :-)