The parents were right. We screwed up.

Remember that time when our parents used to scream - These kids don't have any personal discipline! I wonder what will become of them in life!

And we used to grin?

That was many, many years ago.Parents have always said that, right? " आज कल के बच्चे ! Kids these days!" has always been a pet rant of all things parent and adult. And we turned out just fine, didn't we?

No, we didn't. We screwed up. Big time. Bad. Real Bad. And it only occurred to me this morning, when I tried to analyse how we're doing vis a vis the parents (ironically, in a bid to establish the fact that we turned out "just fine". )

Health

When I was 7, an average 70 year old would be ashamed to wear their glasses. Today, an average 7 year old is almost certain to be wearing glasses.

When I was 8, diabetes was a "bad disease" - reserved only for the sinners who ate too much sugar. People were shocked by the word. Today, a 35 year old is very likely to have diabetes and a 40 year old is almost certain to have it.

When I was 5, the average age of the heart attack person was 80 and above. Heart attack was what killed you. Today, 25 year olds get heart attacks.

When someone fell ill, they rested at home and allowed their body to recuperate. They also first did some basic home based cure. Going to the doctor was a last resort. No one popped paracetamol to go to work and infect other people and be praised for it.

People got up on time, did physical labour - at least, worked in their own houses. There was no avenue to eat out, nor was it so permissible. And people ate good, wholesome food cooked by a family member. They went out to get fresh vegetables every day and did not eat imported fruits. Because they didn't get them. And they stayed healthy.

We screwed up real, real bad.

Finance

Since the mid 1990s, the world has seen more financial failures than perhaps the century before. Whats more, the participation in these epic failures was from the public. The Dot com bust, the Y2K problem, the sub prime crises.. and we refuse to learn! Today, real estate in India is in a mess - as an industry. There is another parallel circus of startup valuations, where there is no revenue, but there is tonnes of funding. Predictably, the funding dries up after the jackals have fed off the carcass. What suffers is the overall economy and the gullible small investor. Why was the small investor not so gullible 30 years ago? Because he was a simple man who liked to keep his money close, asked common sensical questions like "पैसा बनाओगे कैसे ?" before investing money, and did not believe in debt. Was told to live within his means and contain his dreams. Then, we went out to live our dreams beyond our means. And ended up - in debt. And how. 

Today, the average 45 year old worries about retirement. Because companies have taken away the pension shield and investments are nebulous in a financial sector that is dominated by Wall Street professionals whose basic job is to be con men.

A person who remained content rather than aspirational was praised 2 generations ago and ridiculed today. And that, ladies and gentlemen, has made all the difference.

We screwed up. And got a lifetime of financial worry.

Mental Health

Evolutionary biology tells us that man is a social animal. Over the weekend, parents lugged us to the prayer place and then to the houses of relatives, where we were forced to play with assorted cousins and make life long bonds. Then, they told us to stay in touch with the relatives. And we thought they were old fools. They saw what we were doing and went "Aaj kal ke bachche" on us. And we paid no attention. With the net result that today, we know our relatives only through facebook. The era of arriving unannounced is over. Long gone. Weekends are dedicated to worship of the sloth followed by household chores. No one goes to the temple except to offer ritualistic offering. There are no temples inside the house. And no one visits anyone except on a "play date" . We don't know who our neighbors are. So we pay shrinks and take to "social media" to get rid of loneliness - The no. 1 cause of depression. But we don't know what is leading to the depression epidemic. We don't even acknowledge that there is a depression epidemic.

We make our children sleep alone, scared and unprotected. When evolutionary biology tells us that man finds safety in numbers, and all primitive tribes have "sleeping huts" - where people sleep literally, skin to skin. We forgot the joy of fitting 5 cousins on a double bed mattress and surprisingly, everyone sleeps well. Today, our egos sort of fit that bed. There is no space for another human being.

And we have a depression epidemic. And we wonder why. 

We don't keep a temple in the house and don't practice 2 minutes of meditation and silent prayer in a day, but we pay ashrams a ton of money for satsangs and prayers and blessings. We pay respects to our Gurus - who are visited by thousands of individual islands in a sea of humanity - every devotee lonely, everyone looking for answers.

We screwed up.

Work Environment
We had processes, and we had common sense. Then someone came along and said the magic words " 100% compliance" . Anyone who has worked in compliance knows that no one size fits everything. There are exceptions where common sense needs to be used. And we should use it. Problems cannot be solved by checklist based solution sheets. But those check list based solution sheets do something magical  - they completely absolve us of the onus of having to actually use our heads!
So basically, we live with mechanical checklists that accomplish nothing except the shifting of the blame. And this is the Dilbertworld that creates majority of our economic activity.

We really, really screwed up.

What amazes me is how quickly we took the path to this. Within 2 generations, the entire ethos of a civilisation has changed. Our aspirations are diametrically opposite. For me, personally, the lesson is that you should not empower someone to think if they are not educated enough to think well. This dramatic shift in our lives coincides with the 70s - when the new parenting movement of "let the child breathe" came in. Coupled with a lot of other things of course - liberalisation, unbridled ad spend of the multi nationals - gunning for a piece of the "big indian middle class market". What could have resisted that wave of consumerism was the common sense of the old folks, who answered a request for any purchase with a stock question - "Why do you need it? क्या ज़रुरत है ?"

But that's not what we did. We sidelined the old folks, empowered the children, and the elders nodded their heads and went "क्या होगा इनका ! Children these days!"

सत्यानाश हो गया इनका!
 

Review of Nil Bate Sannata

Once upon a time, there was a Children's Film Society of India . It created excellent children's cinema. The kind of cinema that really spoke the language of children. Speak to them, not speak down to them.

Then came the Dark Ages of children's cinema in India - with tiny little flashes of brilliance like The Blue Umbrella, Taare Zameen Par. But otherwise, some child actors, a low intellect script passing for childlike story, and some rather puerile acting, song and dance sequences. In short, Children's cinema from India was a disappointment and you had to depend on Disney to create the magic.

And then comes Nil Bate Sannata. With this film, ladies and gentlemen - Children's Cinema is back!

A story has 5 classic components - Characters,  a Setting, a Problem, a Solution, and a Conclusion. Most story tellers forget these components and believe that a story primarily consists of 2 things - song and dance sequences, and comedy.  Not here. All 5 components of story telling are adroitly handled. The characters are clearly etched, the setting made apparent through subtle visuals, the problem forms the core of the story, and the solution takes its own time unfolding - keeping the viewer involved - close enough to feel, distant enough to analyse.

Many times in the story, you find time to step back, pause and reflect. Many times in the story, my 8 year old asked, "What would you have done in this place?"  The conclusion was nicely drawn out. The final punch - everything that a final punch should be - That moment when you are laughing and crying both. "Kyunki main Bai nahi banna chahti thi." is the most amazing punchline I have heard in a long, long time.

I recommend this film for all children and parents. It doesn't have sugar coated candy to break the monotony of a challenge. It has real moments - lived by real people. It has challenges that we all face, as parents and as children. And everything in between - interested people, role models - you will find many mirrors in this story. And you will find a reflection of self in a lot of them.

If there is one technical aspect that absolutely, totally, utterly stands out, it is Art Direction. Very little airbrush makeup here. The houses are not plastered. The bricks are directly whitewashed, as they are likely to be. The houses with their thin partitions, the small lanes and the terraces without parapets - all little touches that go into creating a lovely visual experience.

Don't miss the songs - lyrics and music, both. The music is so gently intertwined in the film that you don't really notice it. But its beautiful. 

Among the ensemble cast (and imho, it is the ensemble cast that really holds up a good film) - Pankaj Tripathi clearly and absolutely stands out. Watch him. His work is one of the highlights of this film. The other highlight is the boy who plays Amar. I am not able to get his name from the online credits.

in short, this is one of those films that you should first watch in the theater, and then buy the DVD to keep at home and show to all cousins and family kids.

Satya ki pehchaan... Atma- abhaas

आज हमें ये सत्य ज्ञात हुआ है कि :

हमारी प्रजाति है: वनस्पति
हमारी जाति है: देवदार
देश: हिमालय
गाँव: अभी खोज रहे हैं. याद आ ही जायेगा। 

आज हमने ये सीखा है कि

आज हमने  ये सीखा है कि :

१. पंजाबी पैर १ ढोल पर जैसे  थिरकते हैं, वैसे पूरे band पर भी नहीं उठते। 
२. आधा घंटा बारात में नाचने के बाद जो लाली गालों पर आती है, वो दुनिया के किसी blusher से नहीं आती.
३. अपनी राजनीतिक राय सिर्फ एक जगह ज़ाहिर करनी चाहिए। .. polling booth के अंदर। 

Simple changes we have made in our life

Since quitting in October 2016, we have made some simple changes in our lives that have had a huge impact on our health and wellness..

• No Aspertame . Plant a stevia and use the leaves.
• Eat food that remembers where it came from. 
• Food: Locally sourced, produced in India.  
• We stopped eating organic dals when I realised that they don't sprout. We have gone back to the normal dals and they sprout and we are happy.
• When you are sleepy - sleep. When you are hungry - eat. When you are not thirsty - still drink water. Missing someone? Call. When you are not well - don't pop a crocin and report to work. Rest and let your body recover.
• Make your own stuff - it is easy to make labels for school, colors for holi, and diyas for Diwali.
• Have a  kitchen garden - it doesn't matter how small it is - 2 pots, 3 pots.. anything. As a family, watch things grow. its very important to nurture and watch them grow.
• Playing a lot of board games as a family, inviting anyone who visits to join in.
• Meditate a little. And pray. Everyday. Even it if is a cursory bending of the head in front of the temple on the way out.