We think we can neatly label everything and put it in boxes. "This? oh this belongs in that category. "That? oh thats in that box."
15 year old in love? oh thats under the label "infatuation" - she will get over it.
40 year old in love? if its male, thats "middle age afflction" - he will get over it.
If its female, "cougar syndrome, it will never work out."
25 year old and unemployed? "These days kids dont like to work. No wonder there is so much unemployability"
40 year old and unmarried? "Its so hard to get married these days if you dont do it at the right age"
We know, in advance, the cause and outcome of everything. We are so good at labeling and packaging. Suppose, we stopped, at some point, and looked at the GOODS?
Labeling helps us understand stuff, because after all, things do fall in some patterns. But the risk of labeling is that we tend to do it as a matter of habit - ALL the time, and fail to see the distinctive nature of some things. In missing those some things, we miss out on a lot in life. Because it is the distinctive stuff that makes up the special moments in life.
Today, almost everyone who cares has a theory about why a young girl committed suicide and whether or not her boyfriend should be charged with abetment to suicide.
But sit back and think, do we know enough? To speak and opine, one way or another?
15 year old in love? oh thats under the label "infatuation" - she will get over it.
40 year old in love? if its male, thats "middle age afflction" - he will get over it.
If its female, "cougar syndrome, it will never work out."
25 year old and unemployed? "These days kids dont like to work. No wonder there is so much unemployability"
40 year old and unmarried? "Its so hard to get married these days if you dont do it at the right age"
We know, in advance, the cause and outcome of everything. We are so good at labeling and packaging. Suppose, we stopped, at some point, and looked at the GOODS?
Labeling helps us understand stuff, because after all, things do fall in some patterns. But the risk of labeling is that we tend to do it as a matter of habit - ALL the time, and fail to see the distinctive nature of some things. In missing those some things, we miss out on a lot in life. Because it is the distinctive stuff that makes up the special moments in life.
Today, almost everyone who cares has a theory about why a young girl committed suicide and whether or not her boyfriend should be charged with abetment to suicide.
But sit back and think, do we know enough? To speak and opine, one way or another?
7 comments:
I so much appreciate how thoughtfully you put forth your ideas, hdwk. I too am aware and often amazed that so many people rely on labels and simplicity over complexity. I don't know of the girl you speak of, but I know from my work in a poor city with poor people and various cultures that one side is never the whole story
Living with ambiquity is an important life skill, as is ambivalence and resiliency. We want this from our countries (they too fail) and we will never understand another's point of view if we aren 't willing to learn and change
Xoxo nice post as always
Love
kj
Isn't that a label too?
We - oh, the people who don't really know enough to have an opinion on say, a certain other box :)
It's hard not to compartmentalize because we are only human; also that's one easy way of dealing with the ever changing reality that surrounds us. We are constantly trying to make things comprehensible to us within the limited parameters of what we 'know'. A thoughtful and thought provoking post!
hi kj: am so glad u understand.. and also agree!!
hi HT: yes, it is a label too, andi thot of that logical fallacy while putting up the post. but the core point remains - god gave us 2 ears, and one mouth. for a very good reason.
Hi Id it is: Trust me when i say this, it IS possible to look beyond the stereotypes in our heads. and the world one discovers beyond the instant judgements is a very rich world, full of wonders at every step. am glad u found the post thoughtprovoking.
I didn't know Jiah Khan personally, nor would like to. She committed suicide,,yeah, big thing? I am actually least concerned with lives of others because frankly neither do I have time nor have the energy left after facing all the problems I face.
She definitely needed a psychiatrist but why the hell are we so concerned?
We see, we learn, we move on and we FORGET!
Nobody cares when a student dies due to our educational system, or a farmer dies due to his debts, or even when a baby dies because of improper nutrition.
There are bigger problems than Jiah Khan here. The mightiest being- would you even get water to drink in the next decade?
Absolutely right. We are so quick in giving our opinions.
Agree. Anything that we cannot slot into a category makes us uncomfortable. But a mysterious death is always going to bring out the curious in us, to find the pieces to the jigsaw puzzle till we can see the picture for what it is, even if the picture means nothing to us.
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