Today, I had the second panic attack of my life. It was as unexpected as the first, and just as sudden.
This time, however, the doctor had prescribed some emergency mouth dissolving medicine. I took that and within 15 minutes, as promised, I felt calmer.
This blog should not become yet another I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki (and I doubt I have the literary brilliance for that), but this one milestone, I did feel like sharing.
In Four Weddings and a Funeral, what a lovely, lovely poem on grief. By WH Auden. Can't believe I have never read this beauty before.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Link for explanation: https://allpoetry.com/funeral-blues
The poem is called Funeral Blues, but i think it sums up grief and the sense of nothing making sense any more in the most beautiful yet precise way possible.
"Nothing now can ever come to any good."
Indeed.
I do not chase ghosts.
- Repeat to self every time. Take as often as needed.
किसी भी रिश्ते को नज़दीक से न देखो तुम
पहाड़ दूर से अच्छा दिखाई देता है
- Khaleel Dhantejwi
