Notes to Self

 बुरे वक़्तों में हम अच्छा वक़्त याद नहीं रखते

और अच्छे समय में बुरा समय भूल जाते हैं

एक से सीख मिलती है

एक में चैन की सांस

दोनों ज़रूरी हैं

Katranein

तुम्हारी कविता पढ़ कर, सुबह-सुबह कुनकुना सा हो गया कमरा! 

झूठी! मैं खुद आ कर देखूं, तो मानूं । 

आ जाओ, जान!  

आज पहली बार... 'जान' कहा है तुमने मुझे। 

मैंने बोलने में देर लगाई, तुमने बनने में कोई देर नहीं की! 

********** 

कितना अधिकार मानूं तुम पर? 

देखते ही गले लगा लिया करो, इतना! 

वादा रहा! हर बार! गले लगाना मेरा दूसरा सबसे favorite काम है। 

और पहला? 

गले लगाते ही कंधे को हौले से चूम लेना। 

*********** 

तुम न भी कहो, तो भी, साड़ी में तो मैं अच्छी लगती हूँ। 

अरे बवाल लगती हो! 

अच्छा? तो फिर आज से जब भी साड़ी पहनूंगी, तुम्हें मुझ से मिलने आना होगा। उसके बिना श्रृंगार पूरा नहीं होगा. Blush तो तुम ही कराओगे! 

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क्या  एक लड़का और लड़की सचमुच दोस्त नहीं हो सकते? 

हम लड़के अमूमन २ तरह की लड़कियों से दोस्ती करते हैं. पहला, जहां हमारा कोई चांस नहीं हो. और दूसरा, जहां लड़की हमें बिलकुल attractive नहीं लगती हो. तुम्हारे साथ दूसरा तो हो नहीं सकता। 

पहला भी नहीं. 

*********** 

Book Review: Des Vu by Swapna Sanchita

 At its heart, a poem is a moment.

Sometimes crystal, sometimes rock salt, sometimes a speck of dust that falls in the eye.

This is a deeply personal collection of moments. Each moment comes alive through her words, and for that fleeting second, one lives the moment with the poet.

Each piece is short. And complete.
As anyone who writes knows, that is a mean feat (aka Flex).

Here's to poets who know this craft, and bring it alive for the rest of us.

Tickle

When someone tickles us, we laugh uncontrollably. 

That laugh is not happiness. 

It is a physical response 

to a physical stimulus

It is NOT 

Happiness.

Just the appearance

Of Happiness. 

Some people are like that too. 

Being with them 

is like being tickled

the physical responses are all there

but they are not 

real. 

The laughter 

does not go 

to the heart

or the soul. 

That is why 

i do not like 

being tickled. 

Ahuti

माँ बाप ने नाम गलत रखा मेरा 

आकृति का होता है आकार 

मेरी नियति 

जल  

- जिस घर में बसें 

उसका आकार लें

निज का नहीं 

डेढ़ अक्षर की भूल, बस 

मेरा गुण-संगत नाम 

रखते, तो होता

आहुति 

Translation, but the word Ahuti has a very specific connotation - it is sacrifice made to the holy fire where the person making the sacrifice earns good karma or a tangible spiritual or material reward. The piece should be read with that connotation. 

They got the name wrong

It should not have been 

Valerie

- the strong one. 

What use is strength 

in a girl? 

If they had named me 

as they raised me 

My name would have been 

Ahuti 

-  the Sacrifice. 

Blogroll of an unnamed blogger

This post is to compile the writing of a blogger who does not want to publish these pieces. I love them, so am compiling them without the name. 

Jo yaad thaa woh guzar gaya

Aandhi mein sab bikhar gaya

Shaakh ab muh uthaaye dekhti hai

Jo panchi baitha thaa, kidhar gaya

Evolution of Work Friendships

Good morning.  

How was your weekend? 

Here, have this. I got this from home. 

Come come, birthday party in canteen.  

Wow, you love books too? 

We're going dancing/drinking/biking/birdwatching/walking/.... coming? 

Why are you upset? Come, let's get chai 

Chai peeni hai? 

Chai? 

Chal. 

And finally... 

Aaj mere ghar. 

One-sided love

लाल-लाल डोरों वाली आँखें 

जो सदा चुराई जाएँ 

मुंह खुले तो न सांस निकले

ना बोल 

और आँसू? 

भादों की बरसात से 

 

मन 

बावरा 

और दिमाग? 

गाफ़िल 

  

अभी-अभी 

अचानक अहसास हुआ कि 

तुम से मिलने तक 

एकतरफा इश्क 

कभी हुआ ही नहीं था मुझको 

Eyes

red from weeping  

and blank 

from wondering. 

Lips 

that neither sigh nor part 

A heart 

that holds too much 

and a head that holds 

Nothing. 

You, darling, are my first 

one-sided love 

A rite of passage 

Belated, but not 

beleaguered. 

Eventually 

All seasons come. 

This one did, too. 

This poem was co-created while discussing unrequited love with a friend who started off as a colleague. 

Leading to the creation of a meme and another post for this blog. :) 

Katran: TTT

So, you were in a relationship earlier? 

Three. None of them lasted more than 6 months. 

Why? Why didn't they work out? 

....

I want to know so I don't make any of the mistakes that those people made. 

What does the term "A procession of uncles" mean?

In Childhood Sexual Abuse, this term refers to multiple men, either close friends of the family or close relatives or other frequent visitors to the house, who abused a child over their growing years. 

The term is typically used by survivors who did not have access to adult care that would stop this ongoing, recurrent abuse. 

There used to be an Indian blog where Indian survivors shared their stories of CSA. I learnt this term on that blog. Unfortunately, I cannot find that blog anymore. Now, just institutional resources. 

So, if you are out there, looking for something to resonate with your CSA experience, this one comes from the survivors. And I am truly, really sorry that the CSA Awareness blog was deleted and the other blog is no longer indexed by search engines. 

Bangles

Bangles 

A woman's voice 

when her lips are silent. 

They can tinkle softly, 

like gentle laughter 

or crash 

like a shriek 

Or walk away 

without a backward glance.