"औरत को बांध कर मारना चाहिए। फिर वो कहीं नहीं भाग सकती।" - अमृता प्रीतम की कहानी "मैं सब जानता हूँ" में ठेकेदार ने ये बात कही थी। और कल, फेस्बूक पर एक औरत ने यही बात लिखी।
ये बात सच है। बच्चों वाली औरत बच्चों को छोड़ कर कहीं नहीं भाग सकती। फेस्बूक वाली औरत ने लिखा, "पर एक दिन, अगर मैं मुंह खोल दूँ तो?"
मैं उस औरत को बताना चाहती थी, कि मुंह खोलने से दिन शांत हो जाते हैं और रातें और भी काली।
पर मैंने कुछ नहीं लिखा। हर औरत की रस्सी भी अलग होती है, और उसकी गांठों का कसाव भी अलग।
मुझे तकलीफ इस सोच से है, कि एक इंसान को बांध कर मारने की इच्छा है। उस इच्छा का होना भर ही मुझे समझ नहीं आता।
इस सोच में, बच्चे प्रेम का प्रतीक नहीं होते। औरत को बांधने वाली रस्सियाँ होते हैं - जो बच्चों को कभी नहीं होना चाहिए।
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"A woman who is tied before she is hit is not able to run away. You should tie a woman down with children before hitting her." - This was a line in a short story by Amrita Pritam.
And last week, this was written by a woman on Facebook.
It is true. Women with children cannot run from bad marriages as easily. That is why men have suicides and women have autoimmune disorders. We cannot die.
The poster on Facebook wrote, "But what if I were to open my mouth one day..?"
I wanted to tell that woman that it won't change anything. It might make the days more peaceful but the nights will become darker and more unpredictable.
But my issue is not with the comment, or the possibility of opening the mouth. My issue is with the core thought process that wants to tie up another human being and beat them. With embedded sadism that is so mainstream that it finds acceptance in our daily conversations!!!
In this destructive thought process, children are not a symbol of love or union. They are tools of manipulation. Ropes that bind a victim and make her helpless. And children should never be that.
I want to call out this embedded sadism. But don't know how.
4 comments:
What you write is very true. Your line that this is why men can commit suicide but women develop auto-immune diseases instead is very perceptive. Women will not abandon their children and will endure virtually anything to protect them. Child-bearing is a weapon used against women by patriarchal societies. It is precisely why those societies emphasize that child-bearing must be a woman's main (and sometimes only) function.
कैसे विडंबना है यह, समाज में बढ़ती हुई हिंसा का कारण टूटते हुए परिवार हैं और टूटते हुए परिवारों का कारण बढ़ती हुई हिंसा है
Hey Debra: True. But its not like these societies benefit a lot from creating mothers who pass on generational trauma to their children. Where is the greater good in this?
अनीता जी: ये गहरी बात है। महानगरों ने हम सब को गमले का पौधा बना दिया है।
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