That day
And all the days like that day
Too many to count
But they did not vanish.
They put themselves in neat plastic resealable packets
and waited.
They were not days
They were seeds.
Even if you put a seed away
in neat plastic packaging
it does not die.
The only way to kill a seed
is to let it germinate.
It only goes
when it has given the world
what it was meant to give.
That day
and all days like that day
waited
until I took each one out
and gave it
a place
to express itself.
It germinated, the roots spread out and the stalk stood tall
to say its piece
Then, and only then,
the day died.
Closure is not important.
It is imperative.
**************
वो दिन
और उस जैसे सब दिन
जो दबा दिए गए थे
मन के भीतर कहीं
वे मरे नहीं
पोटलियों में बंद हो गए
प्रतीक्षारत।
बीज को
पोटली में बांध कर
सन्दूक में रख दिया जाए
तब भी
वह मरता नहीं
कई साल तक।
बीज को समाप्त करने का
एक ही ढब है
- उसे अंकुरित होने देना
छोटी छोटी जड़ों से निकल कर
नन्हा सा तना
जब तन कर अपनी बात कह लेता है
उसके बाद ही समाप्त होता है
बीज का अस्तित्व।
वो दिन
और उस जैसे जाने कितने दिन
सहनशील, प्रतीक्षारत
जीवित।
********
The thing that shocked me the most about therapy was how seemingly minor days of fights were making me cry over and over again. The days that I thought I forgot. I lived each one for days, wearing the ring for months and feeling the pain every single time. Still unable to speak about many of those days, sobbing quietly into the night.
And this morning, this metaphor came to mind.
