Saturday, March 16, 2024

इन रंगों को जानते हैं?

इन में से कितने रंग पहचानते हैं आप? 


धानी 

कत्थई   

प्याज़ी 

सुरमई 

फिरोज़ी 

मेहंदी 

तोतिया 

सलेटी 

आसमानी 

सुर्ख 

सिंदूरी 


  Scroll down for answers: 

धानी - Bright green - the colour of the rice crop 

कत्थई   - brown 

प्याज़ी - magenta

सुरमई - dark black 

फिरोज़ी - turquoise 

मेहंदी - Henna 

तोतिया - parrot green

सलेटी - grey 

आसमानी - sky blue 

सुर्ख - blood red 

सिंदूरी - Vermillion red 



Saturday, February 24, 2024

Book Review: Unofficial Crimes by Nupur Luthra

I have a weakness for going to bookstores and picking up indie books. 

This has led to the reading of many good books. 

Unofficial Crimes by Nupur Luthra is a book of short stories. Most of the stories have a component of the supernatural. It would have been nice to put that more prominently on the blurb, instead of a passing reference in the last line. 

The stories are intriguing, for the most part. The book is short and you can decide quickly whether or not a story is working for you. The writing style is good. 

Unfortunately, for me, this book is an avoidable miss. The plots did not speak to me at all. The first story started with two murders and completely side-stepped into a ghostly adventure for the girlfriend of one of the victims. From there, it kind of went downhill. If some plots held promise, that promise was soon washed out by quickly glossed over solutions. But the pace was excellent. The stories were not slow. If anything, they were, at places, too fast-paced to allow the reader to get the scene before moving on to the next event. 

The book is available on Amazon India and has decent reviews. 

https://www.amazon.in/UNOFFICIAL-CRIMES-COLLECTION-SHORT-STORIES/dp/B0B6SK6G6T




Wednesday, February 21, 2024

A lifetime of being judged

I have a condition.  I don't know what it's called, but it has often been called laziness, lack of personal discipline, and other judgmental names. 

The condition is simply this - my body needs to be asleep at a certain time every day. 

You might find this familiar - there are many people who say that they fall ill if they are not in bed by 10 pm. Many people who turn down late night parties because their bodies just cannot deal with the late nights. And also, they have to be up at 4 am, because that is when their brains feel brightest. We at least now have a name for this - every body's natural rhythm where the body and mind peak at a certain time of the day. 

So, you know the condition. But why am I called lazy, disruptive, and not disciplined at all for my condition? 

Because in my Circadian rhtythm, that time is 10 am to 11 am. And the time I need to be awake because my brain is the most active at that time - is 11 pm to 2 am. 

I am 47, and have fought this labeling of being lazy for at least 36 of those 47 years. I have suffered from migraine, allergies, fever just because i was not able to rest my body when it needed rest. Because I needed to be in school or at work. How do I know that it was because of not resting? Because when I woke up feeling unwell and went right back to bed, then woke up after 11 am, i was fine. Hundreds of times. 

A quick Google turns out a term - Type 2 Narcolepsy - the inability of the brain to choose the time of sleep. But here is the thing - Narcolepsy is only a disorder if the person wants to sleep during the day and stay up at night. Inability to sleep at night is also a disorder - insomnia. It is not a disorder if the person wants to go to bed by 10 pm. 

BUT, what if some bodies are naturally wired to sleep - not with the sun, but against it? If so many people have that as their "natural" situation, then surely, it can't be abnormal? 

If I remain healthy just by following my body's circadian rhythm, should i still feel that i am lazy or sick? (Narcolepsy)? If you look at it, these labels are not disorders - they are just labels. You only have narcolepsy if you need to sleep during the day. Not if you need to be in bed by 10 pm. Both conditions indicate a lack of control over when to sleep and wake up, but only one is a disorder. 

Why am I writing this now? Because my son has the same condition, and he is starting to internalise the same labels that I have internalised for years. He is starting to get the same smirks that I have got for decades. 

"You are so intelligent and so committed. Your work is always complete. Why don't you just wake up on time?" 

"There is no reason for you to be late to work. It is nothing but lack of personal discipline."

********* 

It is so bad that until 5-6 years ago (after I turned 40), I didn't even know what time of the day was the most restful for me. Because every day since childhood had been a mad rush to get to work on time. 

Only after leaving a regular office job did I realise the time at which I get the most restful sleep - 10 to 11 am. Can you imagine that level of lack of self-awareness? 

And I can't even start to talk about the sheer judgement and self-loathing that one goes through. 

Why can't I just get up on time? Why do i need to sleep during the day? 

"The early bird gets the worm."

"By the time you wake up, half the market is done and dusted. How will you make money on the stock market like this?" 

"You are just lazy. There is no other explanation for this. If you lie in bed at 9, you WILL be asleep by 11. It's a guaranteed thing." (No, it wasn't. I went to bed every single day at 9, and then tossed and turned till 2 am. Every single night. For years. And now, my son does the same thing. He is tossing and turning till 1 am at least.) 

So, people, finally, I am saying this - we cannot help it that our bodies have a Circadian rhythm that is not aligned to the sun, but against it. That does not make us bad people (Rakshasa, as my grandmother would say - only rakshasas get active at night). It does not make us lazy. And it definitely does not mean we have no personal discipline. 

I do not want more people to fall ill because the world does not understand something as simple as a different Circadian rhythm. So, I have to talk. And hopefully, someone out there will benefit because someone understood. 

Peace. 



Tuesday, February 06, 2024

तिल- मूली

छोटे थे, 

तो माँ तिल मूली छकाती थी 

हम नाक भौं सिकोड़ते थे 

मुंह बनाते थे 


माँ ने तिल मूली चखाना बंद कर दिया 


बड़े हुए, 

पिता बने.  

माँ को फोन किया 

"माँ, वो जो आप तिल मूली की रस्म कराती थीं, 

वो कैसे करते हैं?" 

 

We were young. 

Mom used to make us eat

Til and Radish 

We hated it 

Made faces 

Mom stopped


Then, we grew up 

Had a baby. 

One day, 

Called Mom, 

"Mom, What was that til and radish thing 

that you used to do for us?" 



Sunday, February 04, 2024

Dil nu Lod

 ਦਿਲ ਨੂਂ ਲੋੜ 

ਆਪਣੇ ਆਲੇ ਦੁਆਲੇ 

ਨ ਉੱਚੀਆਂ ਕੰਦਾਂ ਦੀ, 

ਨਾ ਮੁੜੀਆਂ ਕੰਡਾਂ ਦੀ 


ਦਿਲ ਨੂਂ ਲੋੜ 

ਆਪਣੇ ਆਲੇ ਦੁਆਲੇ 

ਸੱਚਿਯਾਂ ਗੱਲਾਂ ਦੀ

ਨੀਗੀਯਾਂ  ਜੱਫੀਆਂ ਦੀ 


Dil nu Lod 

Apne aale duaale 

na uchchiyaan kandaan dii 

na muDiyaan KanDaan dii 


Dil nu loD 

apne aale duaale 

Sachchiyaan gallaan di 

nigiyaan Jaffiyaan di 



The heart is not saved by  

high walls 

or turned backs 


The heart wants

to be enveloped by 

real conversations

and warm hugs. 



     

Saturday, February 03, 2024

Katran

I am scared of love. 

I know.  That's why you have built these high walls around your heart. 

And? 

I am here to break down the walls, then use the bricks to build a home together. 

********* 

An English katran is rare for me. But this one, I think, can best be expressed in this language. 

 


Wednesday, January 24, 2024

How do deity based energies heal?

To heal I, I reached out to the energies of Shiva, Panchmukhi Hanuman, and Durga. 

So, a question that keeps coming is - What are these energies? How do they fit in the overall spiritual domain? This is the first time I have actually experienced these energies. 

While various answers were coming, I was aware that the brain is befuddled and not really processing all inputs. 

Today, as things sorted a little bit, the answer I got was clearer: 


Each energy has its own wavelength and medium. They exist for specific purposes. Think of them as light waves or other waves that you are familiar with. The energies co-exist with other spiritual energies. There is no "leveling" between these energies. 

It is possible that you might experience the energy of Ganpati, Jesus, or any other name from any other part of the world. The names are for us to identify the energy. The energies are owned by conscious entities. That is why praying to specific entities helps. This is the logic behind ancient civilizations having Gods for everything. We were invoking energies owned by conscious entities capable of directing energies. 

What are these conscious entities like? 

You cannot imagine them. Because you have not been on that plane yet. Just know that these entities are eternal and conscious. At this time, that is all you can know. 


How does this interact with the overall spiritual energy of aura, healing, etc.? 

They co-exist. It's a vast domain and you are only just starting to get to know more about it. Think of it as a new world. There are many, many things in this world. You will encounter many things. Some, you will be able to compare to concepts, ideas, and things in your physical world. But many, many others, are very new to you. Be open to learning. There is a LOT to learn. As each portal opens, new things, new concepts will be gradually revealed. You will learn the lessons you are ready for, and be confused by the others. That is the most human way of explaining this. But it doesn't come close to what you will *know* a little later in this journey.  

Tuesday, January 09, 2024

Film Review: Vaccine War - Vivek Ranjan Agnihotri's film

 #VaccineWar on #Hotstar



Just finished watching this film. (kind of late to the party)
This is that #NeverForget2020 kind of film.
Apart from the acting, the perfect casting, the taut storytelling, this was a very emotional film for me.
mRNA was being developed since 2012 but had NEVER been approved for human use. And suddenly, on a virus we didn't know, a tech we had never used before was approved for human use.

I read the CDC submissions of Moderna and Pfizer. Both companies had NEVER tested anyone - neither the control group nor the vaccinated group - for the actual presence of the virus after vaccination. The success rate was based on absence of symptoms. Let that sink in. Absence of symptoms. Not absence of virus. Much less proven antibodies to virus.

All foreign companies were given indemnity against adverse reactions to the virus by the US, and made that a precondition to giving the virus to any country globally. India refused to give this indemnity. For many countries, the choices were between Sputnik and China's vaccines.

There are two proven vaccination techs - dead virus and weakened virus. Because the virus was new and lab-enhanced, I relied on the dead virus tech (Covaxin). At that time, everyone around me laughed at me. The propaganda against Covaxin was at its peak.

But in spite of all this, I had never spared a thought for the scientists who would have spent days and nights getting this vaccine out so quickly - until this movie came out. This truly was a war that could only be fought by science - and it was.

The film made me realise that this war was unique for two reasons:
  1. It was the first bioweapon based world war.
  2. It was also the first world war fought through fake news, misinformation, and institutional manipulation by nation states.
If that's not worth remembering, I don't know what is.
#NeverForget2020.

Sunday, January 07, 2024

A rental house

किराये के घर हर शहर में मिल जाते हैं। और उतने वक़्त के लिए, वे हमारे पूरे घर होते हैं - जिन्हें हम दिवाली पर सजाते हैं, जहां रात को परिवार के साथ खाना खाते हैं, और बेतकल्लुफ़ी से बगलें खुजाते हैं। 

किराये के घर की झिक झिक भी कहाँ होती है? न 20 साल बाद ज़ंग लगे पानी के पाइप बदलवाना, न बोरवेल को हर चौथे साल गहरा खुदवाना। कुछ नहीं करना पड़ता। 

पर मन के पिछले कोने में एक चिट सी रखी रहती है, जो ये जानती है, कि ये घर बस मियाद भर का है। 

किराये के मकान में हम झूले नहीं टाँगते। और बाग़बानी गमलों में करते हैं। 

*************** 

Postscript: 

अपना घर हर किसी का सपना नहीं होता।  किराये के मकानों में जीवन काटा जा सकता है। सुख से। 


This piece is in response to a small poetry discussion on a poetry Whatsapp group. Will copy paste the two original poems tomorrow with credits to the poets.