Monday, April 06, 2015

The Good Rich People and the Not so Good Poor

We grew up on the idea that rich people are "bad" and poor people are "nice". That the rich get that way through sucking other people's blood, and the poor remain poor because of the circumstances created by the rich.

I have been thinking of that idea a lot lately, and have arrived at a (purely personal) conclusion.. that the said idea is..BS. The only other widely accepted piece of BS that I know of is the Bell curve used for "Performance Management"  in companies around the world every year.

But, coming back to the idea of rich is bad and poor is good. Look around you.. at the "bad" rich people. What are they doing? They are donating to charity. They are living good, comfortable lives. They are also spending time with their families (as against the filmi stereotype of the rich mother who abandons her children with the nanny to go party), and they are doing things that "normal" people are supposed to do. When you hear the truly rich, you realise they are not just intelligent, they have worked hard, and they have been disciplined.

These people who are climbing the economic ladder, took the laborious route of education and industry. They produced fewer children and gave them better education.

And what are the "good" poor people doing? They are multiplying their numbers, guided by some very strong religious fervour, doing their duty to the religion before they have done their duty to their own offspring. They are also participating in riots, engaging in road rage, petty crime, and in general.. remaining poor so that they can demand a greater part of govt benefits. They look to the govt to solve all their problems - the children were borne by them but must be educated by the govt. They went to work overseas and sent the money to their families, but the rescue operation must be run by the govt, which, by the way, must persuade them that it is indeed, too dangerous to stay on. You see, we Indians can't see a civil war coming.

Of course these are sweeping stereotypes. Of course there are good poor people who are truly there either because of their luck or because of circumstances (read: Agriculture).

But the ones who are there, and remain there, because of their insistence on producing more children than they can feed, they cannot be counted among the "good" poor people. The ones who do not go for rehab, because if they are alcoholics, it gives them licence to keep beating the wife and children, they are not among the "good" poor people. The ones who insist that religion must guide their mistakes, but the State must pay for them, they are not the "good" poor people.

And therefore, that story that you read in your childhood - make that multiple stories, about the "good" poor people who earn their bread through honest means and the "bad" rich people who must necessarily have exploited others to become rich.. it was wrong.


Monday, March 23, 2015

Foundational Skills that Children Need

I was talking to my friend about Foundational Skills that children need, but our schools don't teach. This is what we came up with. Add to the list, or share thoughts about items on this list:

A. Speed Reading: Because, well, that skill is the reason I passed a lot of courses at IIM Cal. And the reason one could watch a movie every single night, not study during the day, and still manage board exams - classes 10 to 12.

B. Mental Maths/ Vedic Maths: Not so much for the ski...ll itself, but I found that this one thing trained the mind in a different way. I was able to process information very differently.

C. Logic Puzzles

D. Poetry Appreciation: Because, well, I can do a whole lecture on the importance of understanding metaphors if we have to do strategy.

E. Financial Literacy.

F. Citizenship.

G. Civic Sense: Yep. You read that here first.

H. Reading the Law: I WISH more young people knew HOW to read the law. You don't have to know the law itself, but most laws, at least in India, are available online. We just have to learn to not be scared of them.

I. Meditation

J. Communication : In particular, how to structure your communication. Think Before you Speak, and something like that.

K. Deportment: Body Language. Not in an artificial, formulaic way, but the simple things like posture, table manners, not fidgeting etc.

L. Theater: For self expression, for empathy, and for public presentation. If there is a panacea in education, theatre comes pretty close to it.

M. Agriculture: Cmon.. how can the education system ignore the GREATEST employer of the country? 60% of this country survives on agriculture.. and our kids don't have this at school?

Go On, do share your list, or comment on the items here.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

We really, really dont give a damn!

I did  a poll on facebook for my male friends.. the poll was:
So, this question is being asked in all seriousness.. and the poll is only for my male friends. When you get dressed in the morning for work(or in the evening for a social event), how many times do you wonder what the women on the street are going to think when they see you?
A. WTF! I don't think of what anyone will think. I dress for the occasion.
B. Once maybe.
C. About 3-4 times. I then adjust my dress n go out looking appropriately dressed.
D. All the time! I even wonder whether I am showing too much skin.

Most of them answered with A. Someone said the answer choices should read: A. Whatever is on top. B. Whatever the hell my wife/daughter wants me to wear.. and so on.

The next day, I wrote this:
Dear Friends: Thank you for validating the idea that when we dress up for the day, or the evening, we do NOT think about what women on the street will think of us. The only approvals we seek are from our family or those who are important to us. But before that, the only approval we seek is our own.
It might come as a surprise to you that women do the EXACT same thing.
So, when we wear short clothes, it might come as a surprise of some sort that we do it for ourselves. If you... find that offensive, or "asking for it" - Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Some of you might want to think that women are this male obsessed sub species that thinks all the time about how some random on road character is interpreting her dress, so it will come as a huge shock to you - the people we spend the most time thinking of, is our families. And friends. We don't think about other people. AT ALL. Just like you.
If you are on my friends list, chances are, that you already believe this. It is now time to go out there and have conversations that indicate to other men that women really, really, don't give a damn about what strangers think.

Bhanvar, Moh Maya, and Leela

Once, there was a boy who entered a labyrinth. The deeper he entered, the more complex it became. The more he tried to understand it, the more confusing it got. Finally, he cried out to his teacher for help.

मोह माया
The teacher smiled, and told him that there are 2 ways to get out of the labyrinth. The first option, is to persevere, understand and find ways to exit.

The second, is to retrace your steps, understand the labyrinth for what it is, and walk around it. When you start, you know it is a game , but when you go in, it becomes your reality.

They are both noble choices. They both teach.


Sunday, March 01, 2015

Yash Raj Films - an ode

When I first read Rabindranath Tagore's stories, I was struck by one thing above all else - his women were not coy, shy, or even sophisticated. They were almost always women with a mind of their own, with absolutely no reservations about expressing the ideas of that mind - in words and action. For a writer of that period, this was amazing for me. Not the intelligent heroines of Bankim Chandra or the sensible women characters of Premchand.. Tagore portrayed his heroines very differently - playful, powerful, and independent.

Today, while watching Dum Laga ke Haisha.. there was a scene.. a drunk Ayushmann Khurana was criticising his wife for being unattractive because she is so fat.. She is on that terrace, hears him out, and, without saying a word, slaps him. This is Haridwar in 1995. NO woman in Haridwar - 1995, or 2015, slaps a husband, at a public event, in front of his friends.

And that got me thinking.. Yashraj Films is known for making super romantic films, for making their women look sensual and beautiful and making dream sequences come true on celluloid. But they have also done something else.. they have brought on screen.. the woman of Tagore.. independent, intelligent, and playful. They have told stories that would otherwise have been unpalatable. ONLY YRF could have made those themes and made them so desirable to the rest of us.. they made us accept things that we would not otherwise even consider..

This post, then, is an ode to YRF from a woman.
And in particular, I would like to mention:

Dhool Ka Phool (1960): In 1960, an illegitimate child, born to an unwed mother. No one would have expected the public to go in to watch this. But they did. And they came out singing "tu Hindu Banega na musalman banega..insaan ki aulad hai insaan banega." I still remember this film. It was seen over 20 years ago.

Waqt: (1965): Ai meri zohra jabeen.. is still the song played at every wedding when the seniors are invited to dance. that song did more for romance among married couples than any other song has done since.. oh wait, did I mention? In 1965, no man was supposed to pay attention to his wife.. much less sing a song praising her when she is the mother of 3 sons.

Kabhie Kabhie (1976): What happens when people are forced to marry for reasons other than love? What happens when we realise that a woman can have a premarital child and can also reunite with her?

Noorie (1979): We all remember Noorie for that iconic song which is still sung at all Antakshris.. So we were not shocked by the theme of rape, especially when used as an instrument of power. Or of a lover who loves his beloved even after she has been "tainted" with rape.. and prefers to die with her instead of doing the expected : blaming her for the act and treating her suicide as an "honor death"

Silsila (1981): That iconic, gossip ridden real life love story with real life actors. Let me sum it up for you: Man woman in love. Man marries his brother's gf after the brother dies and there is no other option. Years later, man meets the woman. Instead of creating distance, this woman has it in her to re initiate the affair - while they are both married to their respective  spouses. Not an honourable thing to do even today, but boy, did we throng to the theaters to see the love story. And that character which looks at the ex seductively. A Yash Chopra heroine. For sure.

Chandni(1989): Wait, a woman wants to marry for love, dance (without shame, of course), at her own engagement, and then cares for her paralysed fiancé. When the family and the fiancé both make it impossible for her to continue, she moves on in life and finds a second admirer (and which woman above the marriageable age in India finds even a first admirer?) She is torn at the decision when she finds out the earlier fiancé is alive. The same girl who sings "aa meri jaan, main tujhmein apni jaan rakh doon" also finds it in herself to say No to the advances of a very "eligible" man. Chandni remains one of my all time favourite movies.

Lamhe(1991): A 15 year old falls for an older woman (haw!!!) and then, the daughter of that older woman falls for the hero (now older, and engaged to someone suitable). Lamhe was my favourite story from the word Go. Love that is not "appropriate" has no place in mainstream cinema. Unless, its a Yash Chopra film.. It is Yash Chopra's favourite film among all his films, and I count it among his finest.

Aaina(1993): 2 sisters fighting over the same man.. one, who left him at the altar to pursue a modelling career, and the other, who married him right then. Dialogues from this film still make me laugh at times. A situation that exists, but is seldom spoken about, and definitely not packaged as love story. He brings out the love in all these situations - some of them so socially unacceptable that no one will talk about them. But we accept them because of the way he presents them.

Darr: Obsession and stalking.. that theme that hitherto touched in popular Indian cinema(except Anjaam - which came a year later). Unlike in the real world, or the cinematic "correctness" - the woman has the support of her husband, is able to get rid of the threat.. and comes out looking good. Contrast that with what we say to the girls who complain of being stalked.. dupatta theek rakha karo.. no one tells the heroine that. And the best part? You didn't even notice that.. bcs supporting her, was the only right thing to do.

Yeh Dillagi: 2 rich brothers fall for the same girl - she is the driver's daughter. Oops!!! Enough said. No one else can try that plot without making the driver's daughter appear like a bechari who is being blackmailed by the rich mother. Not this girl. She holds her ground. But you didn't notice that. Because it wasn't exceptional. It was the thing to do.

Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge: An Indian, well brought up girl, wants to take a month long holiday, all on her own? Like, really? Then she wants to elope with the guy, ably supported by her mother and younger sister. But not the bf, who has to be the nice guy who gets her from her father, not from under the father's nose. Farida Jalal's talk with Kajol next to the window.. once you have seen that scene, you can never miss how fragile, yet how determined, a Punjabi woman can be.
This is an iconic film in Indian cinema.

Salaam Namaste (2005): Live in. Need I say more?

Neal and Nikki : Just see this film to know what I mean.

Fanaa: Kajol's character cannot be missed. But if you have missed it, just watch the movie again.

Laaga Chunari Mein Daag: An escort who finds love, not as an escape, or pity.

Rab ne Bana Di Jodi: Anoushka Sharma. Enough said.

Dil Bole Hadippa: Rani Mukherjee

Badmash Company: A heroine who does not inform the hero that he is the father of the child, because she wishes to have no association with him.. until he repents.

Band Bajaa Baraat: Anushka Sharma. Again. She knows she wants to be a wedding planner. Even before she is a graduate.

Bunty aur Babli: A girl, who wants to be a model and runs away from home, creates her own marriage vows and wails "Agar humein ek martabaan achaar aur banana pada to hum pagal ho jayenge kasam se."

Ishaqzaade: A young girl who uses money to buy gold earrings for her birthday, to buy a katta(country pistol).

Shudh Desi Romance: Anushka Sharma again.

Mardaani: Rani Mukherjee.

Dum Laga ke Haisha: A fat girl, who dares demand respect from her in laws, answers back, and then files for divorce because her husband dared to insult her in a drunken stupor, in front of his friends.

No,  Yash Raj heroines are anything BUT hindi film heroines. They are heroines. Period. And I love each one of them.

To see a complete list of YRF releases over the years, see this:


Saturday, February 28, 2015

यास / hopelessness

मैं सदा तेरी किताब के
हाशिये में ही रहा हूँ
मुखपृष्ठ पर
या सहफे पर
कभी नाम नहीं आया मेरा

होली के गुब्बारे में
पानी का वज़न चाहे जितना हो
वज़ू नहीं करता कोई
उस पीठ पर फूटने वाले से

पानी के कतरे भी
ले कर आते हैं
अपना नसीब

तो मैंने कौन से सपने के तहत
पार करना था
हाशिये से सहफे  का सफर ?

Thursday, February 26, 2015

mat pooch ke kya haal hai mera tere peeche ?
        too  dekh  ke  kya  rang  tera  mere  aage

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

chand Sitaron se kya poochho - Abid Ali ABid

चाँद सितारों से  क्या पूछो , कब दिन मेरे फिरते हैं 
 वो तो बेचारे खुद हैं भिखारी डेरे डेरे फिरते हैं 

जिन गलियों में हम ने सुख की सेज पे रातें काटी थी 
उन गलियों में व्याकुल होकर साँझ सवेरे फिरते हैं 

जिन के शाम बदन साये में मेरा मन सुस्ताया था 
अब तक आँखों के आगे, वो बादल घनेरे फिरते हैं 

 कोई हमें भी ये समझा दो, उन पर दिल क्यों रीझ गया 
तीखी चितवन बाँकी छब वाले बहुतेरे फिरते हैं 

इस नगरी में बाग़ और बान की यारो लीला न्यारी है 
पंछी अपने सर पे उठाकर अपने बसेरे फिरते हैं 

लोग तो  दामन सी लेते हैं , जैसे भी हो जी लेते हैं 
आबिद हम दीवाने हैं  जो बाल बिखेरे फिरते हैं.