What are your skills, exactly?

When a woman comes to ask for work, the recruiters politely ask her "And where do you think your skills would be the right fit?"
That is a polite way of saying - we don't think you have the skill set we need in this office.


This post was a few years in the making - in my head.


What are the skills she brings to the table? A woman returning to work after staying at home?


Presenting, The skills based
RESUME OF A WOMAN


Profile Brief
A CEO level talent with incredible view of all dimensions of running an enterprise. A dedicated and mature leader who has proven track record in aligning contrasting stakeholders to a common goal.

Finance
End to end budgeting, funds allocation and management of funds, accounting and internal audit for an annual budget of XX LPA. Upto 7-10% YoY increase in the budget every year. Additional responsibility is absorbed with no team augmentation.

Operations
Task Scheduling and Monitoring to ensure end to end efficiency in operations. Track record of less than 2% outage/task slippage over x years.
Operations Planning using CPM to ensure non-stop business continuity with minimal time investment.
Maintenance Scheduling and monitoring for all capital and operational assets including perishables.

Inventory Management
Demand forecasting and Inventory Management for 120+ SKUs, panning across Capex, Opex and perishables, with 0 outages and less than 10% forecasting error.

Human Resources
Recruitment, Talent Engagement, Agile Performance Management system with ongoing 360 degree feedback for a team of 5. Annual Attrition at <20 24="" and="" benefits="" control.="" discipline="" exit="" grievance="" hr="" like="" management.="" management="" monitoring="" payroll="" posh="" span="" transactions="">

Stakeholder Engagement
Excellent stakeholder management skills with proven ability to align stakeholders with opposing agendas to arrive at a common ground and collaborate. Ability to deal with a variety of stakeholders across levels, domains and organisations.

Negotiation Skills
Ability to negotiate in 1:1 and 1:M situations and arrive at Win-Win outcomes.

Project Management
Ability to plan, execute, monitor, control and close projects of short and long term duration across travel, construction and education industries. Brings valuable client perspective to the table.

Procurement
Ability to source on both “L1” and “L1,V1” basis for industries as varied as FMCG, Stationery, Appliances, Construction, Materials(B2B) etc.

Vendor Management
Contract Management, Performance Monitoring, Review Feedback, Payments processing and ongoing vendor relationship management.

Risk Management
Operational and Behavioral Risk Management in operational capacity. Ability to foresee risk, threat, vulnerability and plan accordingly.

Internal Audit
Ability to deduce information from written and unwritten sources and remain an agile internal watchdog. Also ensures organisational preparedness for external audits.

Communications Management
Ability to customise the message according to the needs of the recipient. Ability to be sensitive and responsive to the communication needs of various stakeholders and ensures adequate contact and communication.

Quality
Ability to apply simple QA and QC procedures to ensure quality. Ability to train team members on the importance of quality.

PS: This is neither satire nor exaggeration. Every single skill written here is true. It has just been put in a language that you understand.

 

Jwalamukhi/ Volcano

तुम जानती हो,
ज्वालामुखी का मानक क्या है?
जैसे भूचाल का रिचटर 
और गर्मी का सेल्सियस 
ज्वालामुखी का?


नहीं. 
क्यूंकि
केवल ज्वालामुखी जानता है 
कि उसके अंदर 
कितना 
और क्या कुछ है 
और उस में से कितना 
कब निकलेगा 


ज्वालामुखी का दिल 
बहुत बड़ा है 
जब फटता है तब भी 
ज्वालामुखी रखता है 
ज़्यादा अंदर 
और फेंकता है 
थोड़ा सा बाहर


ज्वालामुखी का नाप 
नहीं हैं 
ये बहुत 
ज़रूरी बात है 


Do you know
the scale for a volcano?
Like the Richter
for an earthquake
or Celsius
for temperature?


No.
Because only the volcano knows
how much it holds within
and how little
it will spew out.


The heart of the volcano
holds much
and lets out
a very little.


There is no scale
for the volcano.
That
is a very important thing.

On Longing..

All our longings can be explained away, but not one can be wished away.


Longings are like thirst. Just as thirst can only be quenched by water, not soda, not juice, the longing cannot be fulfilled by anyone else. Just the person/thing/place we are longing for.


Just because there is intense longing today, doesn't mean that the longing, or even the affection, is for forever. It's for today. It's needed in your life today. The place/thing/group/person does not have to be a part of your future. And that's ok.

The Danger of the Single Story of Gender

I do believe in a Womens Day. But not in some of the messages coming my way - She is the nurturer, the creator and the bestower. She has infinite patience and love. She is the reason for our happiness.
.. Not saying that they are not true. These could possibly be true. Just not for all women.

I refuse to believe the Single Story of Womanhood just as one refuses to believe the Single story of manhood.

Not all men are good providers. Not all men are abusers. Not all women are martyrs. Not all are nurturers. Not all women are manipulative.

There is no one story of any gender, or even country, or society.

Womens Day is important because a lot of us are still facing similar challenges. Not all, a lot. It is time to go back and remind oneself that it is time to be you, and being a woman is a big part of who we are. But what is it to be a woman? and strangely, one cant think of any one objective that applies to all women. Not one.

Happy Being your own person day. Happy being you.

my one liners

• We do not owe procreation to a society, but we do owe parenting to our child.

• The tongue is like Fire - when used with care and precision, it can potentially melt the hardest things and soften the hardest. But leave it loose and it burns down everything around it - friend and foe alike.

• If a child's deadliest question is "Why?" , a parent's deadliest response is, "Why do you want to...."

• Money is like Fire. When under control, it gives warmth, brings people together and is the center of most interactions, esp the after sundown variety. When out of control, it burns down everything in its way, is completely and ruthlessly destructive and (this is the worst part) - irreversible. you can only go down that ravine once.

• Email has converted every private office in this country into a govt. office - they push files, we push emails.

•  Tejpal getting off his job for 6 months as "adequate punishment" is the same as Tytler and Sajjan Kumar not being allowed to contest elections for a few years after 1984

on relationships

some relationships are like hybrid fruit - they look big and juicy and full of promise. but they are tasteless and soul less.

some relationships are like the kitchen garden yield. they look inconsequential, promise nothing, but oh! the nurturing that goes into each day of growth. and they feel like they are really yours.
 

black and white in a world of greys..

Always, Always, you must come home. It is in your destiny like the lines in your hand. always, you must come back, after the hunt and the expedition, to that one place that means home to you. the lap of the woman you love, the laughter of your children, the gong of the favorite church bell, even the familiar weeds in an overgrown park - who can tell, what you call home? But we can tell, for as long as we have been around, that when a man does not come home, he gets lost pretty soon. But always, they have to find their way home. it is their destiny. If the home is not real any more, you create your own cocoon - in your mind. into that mind, you retreat every night, a fugitive from the bare rocks of your reality. but you make yourself a home. and Always, you must go back to it.

The Pangea Day Mission & Purpose

http://www.pangeaday.org/
10th May, 23.30 IST (21.30 is the pre-show time at NCPA)

Pangea Day is a global event bringing the world together through film.
Why? In a world where people are often divided by borders, difference, and conflict, it's easy to lose sight of what we all have in common. Pangea Day seeks to overcome that – to help people see themselves in others – through the power of film.
The Pangea Day Event
Starting at 18:00 GMT on May 10, 2008, locations in Cairo, Kigali, London, Los Angeles, Mumbai, and Rio de Janeiro will be linked for a live program of powerful films, live music, and visionary speakers. The entire program will be broadcast – in seven languages – to millions of people worldwide through the internet, television, and mobile phones.
The 24 short films to be featured have been selected from an international competition that generated more than 2,500 submissions from over one hundred countries. The films were chosen based on their ability to inspire, transform, and allow us see the world through another person's eyes. Details on the Pangea Day films can be viewed here.
The program will also include a number of exceptional speakers and musical performers. Queen Noor of Jordan, CNN's Christiane Amanpour, musician/activist Bob Geldof, and Iranian rock phenom Hypernova are among those taking part.Here's the info:Mumbai, IndiaNational Center for Performing ArtsNCPA Marg, Nariman PointMumbai 400 021, IndiaDoors and Pre-Show 9:30 PMPangea Day Globalcast 11:30 PMGeneral Admission tickets available at: http://pangeadaytickets.com/pa1.php?id=India